stranger danger

[magnummum]

Just wondering how others would react to the following: we've recently moved to a very friendly village where most people you pass will say hello,good morning etc (so far so good.)

But,there is an older man who works at one of the businesses that we have to walk past to preschool who always shouts hello across the street and makes some comment about the weather. However he also occasionally offers all the local children sweets. I usually make some excuse about it being nearly lunch time but dd1 aged 3 now keeps going on and on (and on) about what a nice man he is. I have said to her that yes he does seem nice but that we don't actually know him and that she must only take sweets that either myself, DH or her grannies give her.

It's starting to make me a bit uncomfortable - I'm sure he's a very nice person and I hate that we live in an age where one might doubt his motives but as I said we don't know him from Adam. I think he's foolish for doing it in the first place. Also it doesn't seem to bother the other mums who quite happily accept the sweets. Not sure if I'm being overly cautious but apart from anything else it makes it quite difficult to get the message across that you can talk etc to some people but not others.

Any thoughts?

If your child is only ever going to accept sweets when you are present,is it such a problem?

'she must only take sweets that either myself, DH or her grannies give her.'

I hope that isn't actually the case.

Do you really think he's up to nop good? Infront of the parents in the open?

Actually forget it have a

She's right, he IS a nice man.

He cannot molest her with a peppermint cream, love.

If the sweets are Werthers Originals then yes, very suspect.I think mint imperials are probably ok though

Just be aware. I'd say no sweets from him, unless I was there. He's probably harmless, but I'm never willing to take the risk.

The child is three. If she's out without her mother and in a position to be taking sweets off none family members without her mother knowing about it, then she's at far more risk of traffic than anything else.

What exactly is this child at risk of?

Be aware of what exactly?

Smothercation it seems Pronia.

But the message surely is that the people you can talk to are the ones that you meet when you are out with mum.

The whole 'don't accept sweets from strangers' is not literal. It is a mechanism for teaching children that someone who tries to engage with them and entice them away should not be taken at face value and should be avoided.

I wondered why people were looking at me funny the other day when a friend of a friend asked if i wanted to go see his puppies and i ran away screaming.

What IS the world coming to?! Why exactly is this man foolish and what do you think are the consequences of your daughter accepting a sweet from him?

Sorry seem to have got people's backs up about this. I did only ask a question which I thought was valid. As I said he seems nice and I always talk to him and clearly at 3 my daughter isn't going to be going anyway on her own.

It has just started me thinking about when do you start trying to talk to children about issues like this - up until now it isn't something that's arisen - largely as we've moved from an urban area where noone spoke to anyone. Probably didn't phrase it well as sleepless night with dts.

It's a wee bit early for stranger stuff as your dd is always going to be with an adult you already know and trust. All you can do is keep reinforcing safe behaviour and comment on what's nice behaviour towards someone and develop an atmosphere at home where your dd can chat about anything openly

Thanks scurry.

The irony being that kids are more in danger from family members than an old geezer who gives them the occasional sweet