That NSPCC ad: anyone else feel a twinge of guilt?

[Lizita]

Does anyone else "twinge" at the baby who is left crying at night with no one to come and comfort him? I am a bit confused by this advert because so many of us have practiced and still are practicing controlled crying. Of course, I know the advert is talking of something more sinister, but it doesn?t really give that impression at first. Like, just last night my dd (nearly 2 yrs old) awoke at 11pm and when it was clear she was standing up wide awake (crying and calling ?Mummy!? which always breaks my heart!) I went in, sang her night-night song and put her down again, and she continued crying for about 5-10 minutes before she went back to sleep. Ironically, that ad came on when I was waiting to see if she?d stop crying, and I thought, hang on! Am I doing what the ad is accusing me of? Rationally I know I?m not, but it is a bit ambiguous. (Esp as she has on the odd occasion awoken and I haven't gone in at all because it's obviously half-hearted moaning that puts her back to sleep without my intervention...) Does anyone else think that or am I just being silly?

No - because "Miles knows that no-one EVER comes" - I also hate that advert, but there is a world of difference between controlled crying and neglect - so don't worry about it !

I know, and I don't really feel guilty, but particularly the first time I saw it, it felt like the makers had an opinion on controlled crying or whatever.
Although now I'm thinking about it properly, perhaps it is good that they used that real neglect as an example that abuse isn't just in-your-face physical abuse.

so long as you check on her and meet her needs there is no need to worry . You did n't leave her unattended to, if she had woken up in pain you wouldn't have left her to cry.

I didn't feel guilty so much, but want to know how you get a toddler to look that upset on cue

Those adverts are designed to make you feel that way, so you put your hands in your pockets and stump up £2 a month, or whatever they're asking for. They are designed to tug at a parent's heartstrings - it's cynical marketing and I dislike it intently.

i also find it hardcore cynical advertising - and also dislike the fact that childre that young can't 'act' crying or being upset, so find it exploitative.

Absolutely ruty, I agree.

Hmm - I've got some photos (and a video) where my DS1 looks very upset, just because we'd caught him on camera just after he'd had the mother of all tantrums (purely because he was of tantrum age).

There's also a lot you can do with computer's these days to 'alter' the picture on the screen...

However, I also dislike the adverts.

yes QoQ but you leave your baby alone in the house

I have some brill foties of DD in mid-tantrum. Even one where she's on the floor doing her kicking and screaming routine - after tossing her tea to the ground and then taking the strop b/c she was deprived of her 'puddy' (pudding) after that.

Also one of her 'toddler who wants to run in the middle of the road so was placed in her buggy instead' face.

I can't stand this style of advert, the blood donor ones are getting as bad. If they want to raise money they needn't do it by trying strong arm tactics, it just makes me more likely not to put my hand in my pocket. There is a whole world of diference between controlled crying and abuse so don't feel bad.

I hate these adverts.DD is a model & when she was 6 months old,her agency asked me if I'd be happy for her to appear in an NSPCC advert.I said no,because they'd probably want to film or photograph her in some form of distress.There is no way I'd let someone make her cry just so they could make an advert.

"There is no way I'd let someone make her cry just so they could make an advert"

I'm sure most of it is computer altered.

More than disliking the advert - I hate the simplicity of the message - and the image it gives to non parents.

As we all know here on MN, bringing up kids is no simple matter... but charities (and I do believe they have an important role) can oversimplify, just to raise funds.

It's also a bit like a BB (bib bro) style of parenting (everyone watching everyone else, and judging).

bib bro ? Big brother!!

Have to say I like the new cancer research (think it's them - one of the cancer ones) advert, doesn't try and 'tug on heart strings' - just shows an 'ordinary' (well he looks quite well off, flashy suit, nice house ) man going about his life, but also the fact that he's helping by donating each month.

dh was pretty peed off at the new british heart foundation focusng on women. he said men get a rough deal.

This advert is really upsetting to me and i do feel guilty when i see it and i dont even practice controlled crying.

i think there is a limit to what CGI can do and altering facial expressions in one of those limits...!

I phoned up the NSPCC once last year, (at night because i couldn't get through to parentline) on behalf of myself as I was at the end of my tether and very depressed and down and I thought that if I didn't talk to someone about my feelings I would take it out on the kids, so i phoned them up as it says you can if things get that bad and talk things through and get some advice with the kids. her first words to me 'was do you ever hit them' I said yes I smack them and i'm scared and i need help' All she kept saying was 'oh but you musn't hit them, its cruel' I said 'yes I am perfectly aware of that, this is why I'm ringing for help and advice so i don't lose it with them. I put the phone down on her in the end and spoke to my Hv next morning which I should have done in the first place.

Perhaps with the money they are trying to raise through advertising they will spend it on some decent councellors and not ones that don't have a clue

It breaks my heart to wipe my baby's bum when she has nappy rash and it makes her feel uncomfortable. I couldn't bear to make her cry for a TV advert.

sheepgomeep.. thanks for sharing that , I'm really sorry that you got that kind of judgmental crap..IMO they shouldn't be about that.

Surely, if you help the parent (rather than just condemn) then you will be helping the child - and that must be better?

i don't quite know what NSPCC actually do - but i think money needs to be directed towards social services, towards the child protection officers who can actually save lives and revent suffering - it seems they are strapped for enough trained people and enough organisation.