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Parenting

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Original poster

To all parents of summer born children at school....

30 replies

MunchMummy · 19/04/2010 16:28

How do you deal with the 'all my friends are x years old' when they still have a few months before they turn the same age.

My DD1 is in the preschool attached to the school she'll hopefully go to and has been watching all her friends turn 4 all year and she's really upset that she's still 3.

She won't be 4 until mid July.

Any tips on what I can tell her, as I can see we're going to have this problem every year.

OP posts:

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SimplySiskin · 19/04/2010 17:31

my son now 6 waiting to be 7 in july also has this problem, my advice would be to have some friends who are in the school year below, that way they will always be older and doing things before the younger ones as within their class they will always be among the last to get stuff.
hope that helps a bit.

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 19/04/2010 17:33

Not an issue for mine but I would say that everyone has birthdays at different times and mention someone who is younger than them, even if, in our case it is a pet.

Compost · 19/04/2010 17:34

i had a young one (aug) and he was constantly told 'you cannot join in because you are only' 5.6.7 etc.

Nasty.

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piscesmoon · 19/04/2010 17:56

I think that it is a very unfair system, I used to get cross when my DS couldn't do a holiday activity in August when all his friends could. I think that the activity should be for all those that are 8 by the 31st Aug not all those who are 8.
I also got cross at the fact we are told that SATs are for 7, 11 and 14 yr olds as DS took them at 6,10 and 13yrs.
He sat his GCSEs at 15yrs and left school at 15yrs. He got the results before he was 16yrs!
There is no way out-it is worse when all the friends get to 17 yrs and have learned to drive and passed their test before DS starts! All you can say is that it made him more determined and he passed his test first time 8 weeks after 17 yrs. Being 17 when all his friends, and girlfriend, were 18yrs was even worse!
I just said that when all his friends got to 20 he would still be teenager and he would appreciate being younger by 40yrs! Not a message that is any good for a 3 yr old! Have some younger friends is probably the best advice you have been given.

GeeWhizz · 19/04/2010 17:58

Is there anyone with their birthday around the same time?

My DS will not be 4 til end August and he is already on about his birthday and the fact that he will be 4.

There are several children in nursery who have birthdays in August so I think this helps.

pagwatch · 19/04/2010 18:03

How odd..
DS1 was late June.
He is 16 now and some of his friends are already driving but it has never been an issue. He never felt left out and no one was ever nasty to him about it.

My DD is start of September and I have the conversation with her all the time... ...being eldest does not make you in charge..

Milliways · 19/04/2010 18:05

DS is more bothered that all his friends will be driving before hi, but mainly that he will not be able to get a job until he is the 6th form as have to be 16, and by mid August all the jobs will have gone.

Apart from that, he is sooo glad he is not down a year getting very bored

sharbie · 19/04/2010 18:09

2 summer babes here (one 29/08) and never been a problem !

In fact we have talked about how if DD was born on time she would have been in a lower year and how lucky we were that she wasn't.

I was a summer baby as well and think its a great time of year to have a birthday.

cat64 · 19/04/2010 18:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

AuntyViral · 19/04/2010 18:11

my eldest a bit p'd off about pubs !! He cannot go as they are strict but hey ho -its a bonus for parents!

LynetteScavo · 19/04/2010 18:13

DD will be 5 mid July...she's not bothered by the fact that everyone else is older..but then she has older siblings, so maybe she is used to it.

The only disadvantage I see, is that if her birthday was in September, and I'd invited the whole class to her party, she would have had some invitations to party's by now. but as she didn't go to the school pre-school she has been over looked by the other parents when it comes to party invitations.(Or maybe that's just my take on it)

EvilTwins · 19/04/2010 18:19

My girls are 3, and will be 4 in July. They know that their birthday is in July, so when it's someone else's 4th birthday, we talk about theirs being in July. I don't really get why a child would be bothered by it, TBH.

My birthday is late August, and I never had a problem with it. In fact, I disinctly recall being pleased that I was doing my GCSEs at 15 and A Levels at 17 as it made me look like I was clever!

edam · 19/04/2010 18:26

ds's birthday is always the last day of the summer term. Doesn't bother him much, although he does get a bit wistful seeing everyone else's birthday parties throughout the whole school year. Luckily his always seems to be fine as it squeezes in just before most people go away on holiday - his two friends with August birthdays have to have their parties early in July or late in September which must be miserable.

Probably helps that his school has 1.5 classes in each year, so this year he's in a mixed class with the oldest of Year One and youngest of Year Two. Nice to have a chance to be one of the biggest for a change. Not had any problems with him being the third youngest in the whole year as far as schoolwork or PE goes, thankfully. I do know one of the August friends struggled with reading and his mother really worried about it and found it hard to remind herself he was probably doing OK for someone who was not even five in reception.

LoveJules3 · 19/04/2010 18:27

My DD2's Birthday is late August, and it's only ever bothered her having to wait so long after DD1's Birthday (Dec) for hers! She started school full time at 4y 1m, and hasn't looked back.

The only problem we have is that both DDs birthdays fall in the school holidays!

boogywoogy · 19/04/2010 18:30

My ds has a July birthday and it hasn't really been an issue. A few of his friends are around May and one in August. He doesn't seem bothered that his friends are months older than him but does say it's a long wait until his birthday!

yehudiwho · 19/04/2010 20:12

ds age 6 born end of August- been fine at school and as someone else said just gets a bit wistful about waiting. need to be organised with getting friends addresses for summer holiday parties!

Original poster

MunchMummy · 19/04/2010 22:02

Many thanks everyone - lets hope after this birthday she forgets all about it and it doesn't bother her next year.

OP posts:

OracleOfDelphinium · 19/04/2010 22:04

I have an end of August b'day, and it was never a big deal. My DCs all have summer b'days and it hasn't yet been a big deal either. Long may that last!

SixtyFootDoll · 19/04/2010 22:07

DS is late july aged 10, never heard of this being an issue.

cumbria81 · 20/04/2010 14:31

I am a summer baby and it was never a problem for me - I think it's a bit odd to be bothered about it.

GooseyLoosey · 20/04/2010 14:34

dd has a late Aug birthday and is now 5.

Good things are that you get to have lots of ideas of what kind of birthday you would like and what doesn't work.

Yours is always the last party of the year - in dd's case its a get together before they go back to school. For your dd it can be a last hurrah before they leave for the summer.

My birthday is in early September and I was always envious of younger friends. In reality they got to do everything at the same time as I did, only they were much younger and therefore cooler!

RatherBeOnThePiste · 20/04/2010 14:40

DS in June, never been an issue, but ultimately it is something they will have to live with and get on with it!

Greenshadow · 20/04/2010 14:40

Would agree with earlier posters that it can become more of an issue as children get older.
It's not just driving lessons, but now voting in the general election. DS1 is taking quite an interest in the elections but misses out on being able to vote by a couple of months while most of his contemoraries will be voting.
He is is also rather pissed off at not being able to attend certain adult-only festival sort of things which his friends can go to.

He never had any issues with being a summer birthday when younger.

piscesmoon · 21/04/2010 08:02

I agree Greenshadow-it only becomes an issue when older. I let DS go camping on his own with friends at 15yrs-I felt it unfair to say that he was old enough to do the GCSEs but too young to celebrate.
I don't think that it was a problem until he was 7yrs and all his friends were 8yrs. He wanted to go on a summer holiday kayaking course and he wasn't 8 and yet the vast majority of his school year could.He was also stuck at Beavers when all his friends had gone up to Cubs.
It is a definite disadvantage from 8yrs to 18yrs -it doesn't matter before or after.

Greenshadow · 21/04/2010 14:26

Funny you should mention the Beaver issue Piscesmoon. Was thinking about similar issues - but in reverse.
As well as having DS1 born in July, we also have DS2 in early October. He had the problem of having to go up to Cubs (and later Scouts) by himself, as most of his frineds were Spring/Summer birthdays and not able to go up at the same time!
Swings and Roundabouts....

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