DD eating food off my plate?

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DP and I are disagreeing on whether it is OK to let 14mo DD eat food off my plate. I tend to have lunch the same time as her to encourage the social aspect of eating. However she always wants to eat whatever I'm having, and to take it off my plate. I don't mind sharing and she is much more likely to eat a wide range of food if I'm also eating it (for example I've given her cubes of avocado on her own plate and she spat it out, but she happily munched it down with some cottage cheese and pitta off my plate today).

DP thinks it is telling her she can have whatever she wants, and I should be stricter and make her eat the food off her own plate (even if we are eating the same thing). He thinks she will always think she can take what she wants off anyone otherwise (although obviously if we are at playgroup and she takes things off other children I make her give it back).

Thoughts on this? Am I encouraging bad habits?

I think your dp is nuts. She is 14 mo old! You are VERY lucky she will eat a wide range of foods. As she starts to understand more it shouldn't be difficult to make it clear it's only mummy's plate that is on offer.

I think your dp is in for a rough ride generally if he wants to be this strict.

Agree- she is only a baby- it is good she wants to try things you eat- means she will experience lots of different flavours and textures.

She won't still be doing it when she is 10 you know (well, tell your DP- I think he is being a bit daft)

I bet there are loads of parents with fussy eaters who would LOVE their DC to take an interest in different foods.

No, sharing food with your small child is entirely normal.

Perhaps it'd be a good idea for her to have her own plate, so she can take stuff from you and put it there - and also to spit out her rejects, sharing your plate for that is a step too far!

Come to think, we were on holiday last week, very nice but some unusual food and DD, DH and I were all begging bits off each other so we could try different things - DD is 11.

Ha ha- yes remember reject food trying to be dumped back on my plate after a chew!

your dp is crackers.

My DS is the same, in fact I have been reduced to hiding whilst eating so i can finish a meal in peace! On the whole though I would much rather have this problem than worrying that he was not eating at all.
My DP is a bit the same, in that he prefers to be 'strict' on certain things, i think that he has to feel like he is instilling good manners in ds, i have said that 16 months is a bit young for that!

Brill thanks, resounding answer is that he's nuts, can't wait to tell him when he gets home! I thought the same, but good to have it confirmed.
He isn't strict on most things, but I think he's really hot on things like manners and doesn't want a rude child who grabs things off everyone else. But agreed, 14mo pretty youngm to be too worried about it.

You're encouraging sharing and she's trying a wide range of foods, what on earth is wrong with that?

Plenty of time yet for table manners..

encouraging sharing isn't the same as encouraging grabbing. Perhaps if you can get your DD to point and then you neatly transfer the desired article to her plate, you can all be happy?

It is the toddler rule.."Food always tasts better off Mummy's plate" All children do it.

It's a very sensible biological instinct for animals in general - to trust the food your mother eats above all else.

Am I weird for not allowing this? My children don't have any food weirdnesses, but I've never let them eat off my plate. It's MINE.

I'm not sure. I let DS try some of my food because he does seem to want it more than his own but I always put it on his plate first.

I know my sister thinks the same as your DH.

I am sure with all these things whether it is a good idea depends on how it is done.

DH thinks the same as your DH. DD is 2.3yo so a bit older but she will eat from my plate despite her having an identical meal on hers. She eats very little from her own but will happily eat half my dinner. At the moment I'm just happy for her to be eating. We'll deal with manners a bit later.

"It's a very sensible biological instinct for animals in general - to trust the food your mother eats above all else."

My guinea pigs do this, the younger one will never eat anything until he sees his adoptive "dad" eat something first!. We got the little one at 6 weeks when the older one was a year old.

I'd never thought of it as a survival instinct, but it's a good point. This might also explain why my daughter insists on feeding me bits of whatever she's eating/gripping in her fat little fist. I'm like her Royal Taster, perhaps.