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Original poster

2 lovely dd's but wanting a 3rd...

16 replies

mama2moo · 18/04/2010 22:15

Should I just stop at 2 and be grateful for what I have? 2 greatish pregnancies, fab births and recovery and 2 fantastic little girls who are good as gold. (23 mo and 10 wo)

I do want a 3rd in 2 years but am wondering if I should stop here and count my blessing.

Have you had 3 or more. Did the 3rd pose more problems from the others (I have heard 3rd labours are hard).

If I am going to stop at 2 I will look into long term contraception (implant).

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Ponders · 18/04/2010 22:18

I think after 10 weeks it's a bit soon to be making your mind up

IME the labour is the least of your worries however many kids you have but prob a good idea to look at long-term contraception anyway for 12-18 months.

jennifersofia · 18/04/2010 22:22

Had 2 dds, dithered about wanting another, went for it after a while (eldest was 8), had another dd and we are all completely happy about it. One of the best things I have done.

My first two pgs and births were like yours, and the 3rd followed the same, though afterbirth pains were more painful.

I just felt after the 2 that I wasn't 'finished' IYSWIM. I do feel 'finished' now!

thisisyesterday · 18/04/2010 22:28

i had 2 little boys, and as soon as the second was born i knew i wanted another one. got pregnant when he was about 9 months old and had another little boy.
it's fab. I just knew i wanted 3, and now i have them i feel like i am definitely finished
third was prob my easiest pregnancy, and it was certainly my fastest labour (45 mins)

i love having 3

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Original poster

mama2moo · 18/04/2010 22:31

I know dd2 is still very young but I'm not finished yet! Having dd2 has made me realise how much I love having children and that I really want a bigger family.

I think if I stopped at 2 I would always think 'what if'. Maybe I will feel differently in a years time when they are fighting over toys!

OP posts:

hobnob57 · 18/04/2010 22:35

I'm feeling exactly the same as you, but now faced with the prospect of returning to work only 3 days a week makes that dream ever further away... and time is ticking on

Firawla · 18/04/2010 23:03

I see no need to stop @ two if you feel that you would like more
3 is not a huge amount of kids, so if you would like to then why not? Definitely keep your options open.
I have only 2 too (boys 21 and 4 months) but I don't feel that I'm finished, not sure I would feel finished after 3 either but will see.
Anyway if you want more I don't think you should restrict yourself, you would always regret it

PiratePrincess · 18/04/2010 23:57

I knew I wanted 3 too, as I was bf'ing DS2 I remember thinking how sad it would be if this was the last time.

And it wasn't - 3 yrs later we had DD who is absolutely gorgeous!!!

She is the easiest by far, being the 3rd she slots in with whatever we're doing. (Can't comment on the birth though as all mine were c-sections).

Go for it! (Maybe not quite yet...)

LadyN · 21/04/2010 14:38

I'm joining this thread late but couldn't resist adding a post as I'm in exactly the same boat.
I feel so grateful that both DD's ( 18m & 3yr)are healthy and feel that maybe if I had a third, I would be tempting fate that all wouldn't go so well this time. Sounds terribly negative but true !
But not only that, we have no space in a 2 bed flat for a 3rd ( and can't really afford a bigger place in our current location so would have to move out of big smoke and away from friends) and I'm turning the big 40 next year.
But despite all these things, I find myself returning again and again to the thought of a third. Do these feelings eventurally disappear or should I resign ( quite happily) to the fact that I am destined for a larger family ?

compo · 21/04/2010 14:42

I would wait until sibling rivalry, arguments, expensives kick in and then decide

14hourstillbedtime · 24/04/2010 04:01

Well, my two are nearly 3 and 4 days old, so probably too soon to be making my mind up

I've told DH we are just not going to discuss it for a year, and allow for our family of 2 to settle down, and then we'll see...

Funny thing is, that now we have a DS and a DD, everyone assumes we have the 'perfect' and 'complete' family and that we are now done - I even got asked this in the L and D room about half an hour after giving birth! (ooh, how lovely, are you done now, then?)

I come from a family of 3, btw, and DH is one of 2 - we both had very happy childhoods, so maybe part of the feeling of knowing your family is 'complete' is a desire to replicate a happy childhood experience? Dunno - what do you guys think?

girlsyearapart · 24/04/2010 07:38

I have two who will be 2 and 3 in september and am due dc3 at the begining of august.

I always knew I wasn't finished- in fact would like 4 but now the dds play so nicely together I'm starting to feel a bit nervous of upsetting the apple cart. Too late now though

14hours I think your own childhood has a lot to do with it, I have one sister who is much older so only lived with her until I was 4. That has definitely made me want to have my children close together so they experience what I didn't.

Even though we had and have a great relationship I alway felt a bit like I missed out having the 'proper' sibling experience.

ladyN my sister had dc3 at age 40 so it's not too late! I think imo you're more likely to regret not having a 3rd than having one judging my your post..

mamafox · 24/04/2010 07:51

Know exactly what you're saying, I knew when dd2 was a newborn that I wanted a 3rd. 2 didn't seem finished, and had nothing to do with trying for a boy, although that is what a lot of people assume. We had 2 m/c before falling pregnant with ds, who is now 9mths old and he is just a delight. dd1 is 8 and dd2 is 4.5yrs and they both dote on him. Best thing we ever did

hazeyjane · 24/04/2010 08:01

It took us 7 years to conceive dd1, we had dd2 14 months after dd1 (it was a miracle, I swear!) We knew when we had dd2, that we wanted to have a 3rd, but circumstances were difficult - we had to move when dd2 was 6 weeks old, dh was between jobs etc. I am 29 weeks pregnant at the moment with dc3 (a ds!), and will be 41 when I have him. Dh was worried, because he didn't want us to push our luck having a 3rd (we feel very blessed to have 2 healthy dds)

TBH I am finding this pregnancy very hard - dds are 3 and 4, and I have finally accepted that it is ok if the girls watch a bit too much tv and the housework doesn't get done, because I am knackered!

I obviously don't know how it will be when number 3 arrives, but if you have the desire to have a 3rd, I would definitely keep your options open, and don't leave it too late!

Ponders · 24/04/2010 22:53

I always wanted more than 2.

We had 2 DC initially, & there was this general assumption that 2 was enough & I felt pressured into settling for that & getting rid of baby stuff

However...3 years later we had another (so bought all the baby stuff again ) & even then I felt that I wasn't done; so later still we had a 4th, & after that I did feel our family was complete.

But I would never have wanted to decide within 10 weeks of delivery

lisaleelu · 24/04/2010 23:10

I have 2 and love the idea of another - but worried about pushing my luck. I am 38 and think to have had 2 healthy happy babies is amazing should I push it?

Ponders · 24/04/2010 23:20

I had 3rd at 37 & 4th at 41...go on, push it

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