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Original poster

I dont want #4 to be my last baby :(

17 replies

anniepan4 · 14/04/2010 08:27

Awww I dont want ds4 to be my last baby, but he I think he will be, every day I look at him ( 15 wks) and am sad that 1: he has grown so quickly 2: he's probably my last baby... I know i said after having him ' no more' as i was on my hands and knees with the after pains ( why does no one ever tel you they get worse!!! ) Dont think OH wants to do it again... he was a free sprirt neverwanted children, met me whom already had 2, met had 2 more children 12 monthe between them.... but I want more.. and no it's not coz all the others are boys I think I'd prefer boys...Will I ever stop wanting wanting wanting or do i just need to get over it!! ??? !!!! xx

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Evenstar · 14/04/2010 08:39

In my experience you never stop wanting more babies, but the point came for me after 3 when I certainly didn't want and couldn't have coped with more children! As a mum of 3 teenagers I am now extremely thankful I didn't have "just one more" even though I feel terribly broody when I see little babies.

toddlerama · 14/04/2010 08:39

Never say never Annie! Children are one of the biggest joys in this life. Maybe if you give yourself permission to leave it open, you wont feel so panicky about it?

cupofcoffee · 14/04/2010 08:49

I feel the same. Decided family complete with No 3 (14 weeks old now) but very sad at thought of never having another.

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SoupDragon · 14/04/2010 08:55

"In my experience you never stop wanting more babies"

I'm not so sure. I didn't want another after DS2 but my family wasn't complete - there was a gap. DD came along (and no, it's not because she's a girl!), the gap in the photos vanished and my family felt right. My mother describes the same feeling - she wasn't planning any more after 2 but the family didn't feel whole. I arrived and she felt done.

I now look at little babies/toddlers, feel a pang that mine have grown and I'll not have those days again but I don't want any more of my own - I'm happy to borrow

Original poster

anniepan4 · 14/04/2010 09:16

well eldest is 14 and we get on like a house on fire..... maybe i wont ever stop wanting them.... maybe deep down i crave a girl without realising it? maybe its the baby stage i love after all trantrums havent begun yet..lol xx

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sweetkitty · 14/04/2010 09:31

I am 37 weeks with my fourth and know he's my last ever baby.

I hate being pregnant and couldn't do it all again plus emotionally I think 4 is my limit of the love and time I could give them if that makes sense.

I think when I see him starting to grow and if I see a woman with a bump I will always have broody feelings but I know deep down I won't have another.

jobhuntersrus · 14/04/2010 09:32

I think never ruling it out, so not making any permanent irriversable decisions is a good idea.
I have 3 ds. I feel we have moved on a as a family now youngest is 3.5 and I have gone back to work and love my new job which fits in beautifully with family life. I like not having the ties of a baby or young toddler. We can sit back and watch them enjoy things on their own a little bit. We made the decision 3 was our lot and have given baby things away as soon as we have stopped using them.
Yet I still have times when I feel broody and wonder if we have made the right decision. The thought that I will never have a little baby again is a bit sad. We sort of said we would review things when youngest is in full time school. I think dh is thinking that by then I really won't want to go back to the baby days and he is probably right but i would hate to think that door has been closed forever.

grumpypants · 14/04/2010 09:33

annie i know what you mean - ds4 is at nursey too, but maybe it's about wanting another baby and that lovely time with them rather than another child? IYSWIM?

LadyOfTheFlowers · 14/04/2010 09:47

I am due tomorrow with no4. My eldest is 4.

I always envisaged having 4 but once I had 3 I decided that was enough! I was happy with my lot.

Then discovered I was preg with no.4 and although shocked and a little scared, was also pleased. Took DH a little longer - his 'ideal' no. of children was always 2.

They are all sat on the floor now, playing, and I look at them and think 'My God- There will be another within the next 7 days' (fingers crossed!)
I am CERTAIN this one will be the last. I quite enjoy being preg, but 4 times is enough.
I sometimes feel I don't have enough time for each child individually so certainly won't exceed 4 but I have thought of ways to change our schedule around which would allow more one to one time with each.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 14/04/2010 09:48

DH also likes to tease me saying 'You know we will have another!'

aarghhelp · 14/04/2010 09:54

I don't want #1 to be my last baby but he probably is. But then again, I was very lucky to have him!

4andnotout · 14/04/2010 09:59

I'm the same, I have 4 dd's between 8-17months and can't imagine not being pregnant and having another one. Dp is just as adament that he doesn't feel that we are finished yet.

Original poster

anniepan4 · 14/04/2010 10:16

I LOVE being pregnant, thats half my problem... I'm jealous of LadyOfTheFlowers straight away... OMG your due any minute! how fabulous! ..... I do sometimes wonder about do i give enough time to them all... but as #1 & #2 are older an d i'm just an embrassment to them lol its just really like having #3 & #4.. I love it when we sit down and have breakfast.. one for #3 one #4 and one for me... precious moments.. i think i'll get pregnant tonight...lololololololol xx

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Mimiso · 14/04/2010 11:16

I am also feeling this way, I have three DC, two DS's and 1DD. They are 11, 5 and 9 months. I am an only child and always wanted to have four DC's but the reality of it is daunting. I had spoken with my DP about trying for number four (our last one) in September this year but the thought of having another baby seems really daunting now as I wonder how I would cope with four children, despite wanting another one. I wonder whether the idea of being pregnant is what I like although I do suffer from the most severe form of symphisis pubis dysfunction

sweetkitty · 14/04/2010 12:26

Ladyoftheflowers - much respect, my oldest is 5.9 months. I feel the exact same thing that 4 is my limit.

Pregnancy is far too hard with the SPD, maybe if we had good family support it might be different but there's only DP and I. Running about after 3 is hard enough nevermind when you can hardly walk.

I think if you really feel like that then you need another one

ginhag · 15/04/2010 21:53

aarghhelp I sympathise. I really don't want no 1 to be my only baby,but after mc,ectopic etc who knows if I'll have a choice? Am still so lucky though,I have dear friends who just desperately want 1 and are struggling....

Sorry,slightly off-topic

ginhag · 15/04/2010 21:55

so lucky

did I manage italics that time??

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