Hi babyskipp
I use dummies, comforters and Rapid Return technique.
My DD also 8 months also has soothers/dummies for bedtime. Husband and I stumbled upon an inspired idea when she was 4.5months so that we could avoid getting up to put the dummy in.
We tied her dummies to her comforter (you can find similar one in Mamas & Papas and John Lewis). You can also get a comforter which has velcro on each on the 4 "paws/legs"
Anyway, this means that DD can always find the dummy and put it back in herself. Also she can't throw the dummies out of her cot.
She sleeps better and we don't tend to hear from her during the night.
It really is a top top way of letting them have their dummy and their comfort from it.
As for getting her to sleep without handholding.... You could try this for naptimes too. I did this with my DD from 12 weeks and she now sleeps and naps with no trouble and there was no crying involved.
Before taking her for naptime, say "naptime" or "sleepytime" so that your DD can anticipate the change coming.
Put her in her cot and use the same phrase everyday (I use "its naptime, settle yourself, settle yourself" - you can use whatever you think is right.).
Then begin to leave the room. Invariably your DD will start to cry as you reach the door. Turn back and shhs her and say your special phrase: "settle yourself" again. And then begin to leave the room again.
Eventually, and this may take a few days, you'll be able to leave the room but your DD may start again and you'll have to go back again and shhs her and say your special phrase.
Keep doing this (and you'll be totally totally fed up by day5/6) and eventually your DD will realise that it really is sleepy time but if she needs you you'll be there in a flash.
It took my DD about 2 weeks to start to get it. After that she'd test me occassionally with some fake crying and then smile at me when I went into the room.
As your DD is 8 months there are 2 possibilities, one is that she'll understand much faster and it will be over in a couple of days. The other is that she's bigger/older and now more stubborn and it will take longer.
It worked so well for us and I recommeded it to other mummies who have had success.
But do get a comforter too. My DD looooves hers and as she settles for sleep she'll roll around and talk to them. So funny to watch.
This is a nice way of doing it as it doesn't invovle crying or controlled crying. And it helps everyone long term.
The only downside is the intial phase where you have to pursuade your DD to settle on her own. It is a pain running back and forth. Am happy to admit that I was in tears by day 9 and didn't think I could keep it up and was soooo tempted to just stick her on the boob and feed her to sleep. But I figured that she'd come off the boob sooner or later and then I'd have to go thry it anyway.
I wish you all the best with your DD. She sounds so sweet wanting to hold your hand.
Love to you xxx