Not eating properly at nursery.

[Undercovamutha]

My DD is 3.5yo and goes to private nursery. She has just gone back after a year, when I was off on maternity. When she used to go to nusery (from 9mo - 2.5yo) she was amazingly good at eating everything that was put in front of her (I was very smug!).

Since turning 3 she has got really bad with eating cooked meals. She picks at them, says she hates it before even trying it, eats one thing off the plate and nothing else... In short, mealtimes are a disaster-zone.

I was hoping that when she started nursery she would be ok, and would eat better (vain hope, I know!). But she's hardly eating anything. The nursery are apparently trying to get her to eat (but very softly softly approach IYSWIM), but to no avail.

I don't really want to start cooking another main meal for her in the evening (although I try to give her a 'tea' with plenty of salad and fruit), as I would be cooking DS and DD different meals, plus mine and DH's meal later!

Also when she starts school in september she will be having cooked meals, as DS will still be having cooked meals in nursery.

Do I need to just chill out and accept that 3/4yos are crap with eating? I think I get more stressed about it cos she was always so good, and ate so much fruit and veg. (BTW she is not wasting away, and is still fairly high up on the centiles, despite dropping down a fair bit recently).

I would say that this is a bit of attention seeking. She's adjusting to being back at nursery and using food as her tool for getting some extra attention.
I would think this will all blow over and she'll gradually return to her old self.

Hope so - she has been running straight up to me when I pick her up and telling me that she hasn't eating her dinner - so its obviously at the top of her mind!

Id ask the nursery what their policy is if a child refuses to eat. Do they leave them with nothing to eat or do they offer something else.

In our nursery we will give the children lots of encouragement but if they refuse to eat or they dont like it we will offer something else or maybe the part of the meal that they do like. Some children will not eat say, bolognaise but will eat plain pasta. We will always encourage them with the bolognaise first before offering plain pasta, or say that they need to eat some lunch before they can have garlic bread.

Sometimes children think that if they refuse they will always get a sandwich, so we try not to offer them too much. We only serve fruit for pudding, so we never refuse this if they havent eaten lunch.

Other things that we do which may be a good idea to suggest, is ask if your DD can help plan the menu. I did this with one child who wasnt eating meals in nursery and she chose cheese and broccoli pasta one day and homemade pizza the next day. I actually gave them the task of chopping up the broccoli. Everybody had clean plates because their friend had chosen it.

We also do regular fruit and vegetable tasting sessions with dipping sauces which go down well and allow the children to explore food in a fun way without the pressure of mealtime.

If it's any help my DD has just turned 3 and suddenly her favourite phrase is "I don't like that". She was always a fantastic eater when she was younger but now we have a huge list of things she won't eat. She was in the car yesterday coming home from nursery, saying "I don't like pineapple. I don't like banana. I don't like kiwi. I don't like melon"

I'm currently ignoring

Repeat after me- it's a phase. This too shall pass.

Thanks for the advice. I think I will try to find out a bit more about the Nursery's policy. I think they do as you said Teamcullen, and offer more of the food they like (e.g. meat), but then always offer dessert (although it is almost always fruit or fruit and natural yog).

Is your son a year old? I don't understand why you would need to cook three different meals. Why can't they eat the same thing?

(Sorry no advice about the nursery though)

Sorry - explained things a bit wrong! DD and DS have cooked meal in nursery (which DS eats fine). If I cooked DD a meal in the evening to make up for the fact that she hadn't eaten properly in nursery, I would be cooking a meal for DD, making a 'tea' for DS, and then later on cooking another meal for me and DH!

Yes, but why wouldn't you just feed the two of them the same thing? And then serve the rest up for you and DH later?

I realise it's maybe not the point, but if you could just feed everyone one thing, it wouldn't matter so much if she was eating.