Sohow much crying is too much at 5 weeks post partum?

[CharCharGabor]

From the mum, not the baby I mean.

bump, sorry.

i cried at everything at this stage....
was sleep deprived and found the whole thing a real shock to the system
and hormones were all over the place

when i went to the doc, she diagnosed sleep deprivation rather than PND... but am glad i went to see her

is that what you're asking? don't be afraid to go and talk to someone....

(are you happy when you're happy and sad when you're sad, IYSWIM? or are you just down the whole time?....)

Thanks picc. That's good, maybe it's just tiredness. I'm a second away from tears all day and they just spill out every so often when I stop to take a breath. I feel so inadequate trying to look after both children. Either DD1 is entertaining herself or DD2 is screaming her head off while I race round trying to do the bare minimum to keep us going. I'm snappy with DD1 and I just die inside when her little face falls because I've been impatient again. But it's like that for everyone,isn't it? I just feel like I'm so bloody shit at it. I don't even know whether I feel happy, or sad, or anything right now. Am just a disaster.

being worried enough to ask and based on your last post, i thin this is more than regular baby blues.. speak to your HV,

make sure yoy are doing all you can to make life easier.. online shop, ready meals, barest minimum cleaning etc.. make sure your OH is pitching in, if people offer to help, accept it!

how old is DD1?

Just how I felt... and I only had one to think of!
But I felt like I was doing everything wrong. Kept shouting at DH. Wanted to run out of the door and not return countless times (although would never have done it... but it was that feeling of totally being trapped in a situation that felt unbearable and un-ending).

Basically, the doc said if you feel happy at the times when you would normally feel happy (like when DD1 would make you giggle, or you listen to something funny, or you see the sun has come out today for the first time in ages... you know... whatever), then it's not PND.

But whether or not it is or it isn't, really don't feel afraid to go and talk to someone (although not if that just adds yet another stress to your day: having to fit an appointment in).

As far as I can tell, everyone feels inadequate and everyone feels like shit for a while.

Do you have anyone nearby who can give you a break? Is DD2's dad around much?

If you are successfully keeping 2 young DDs alive and well in any shape or form, you are not a disaster, you are succeeding! Give yourself a pat on the back and be proud of what you are doing

Sounds like Lulumaam knows more, and you should heed her advice
HV should be able to come to you....
Your 6 week check should be due, shouldn't it? And they do ask you then about how you're feeling in yourself... Just be honest.

Thanks lulumama, was quite cathartic to write that down actually. Am doing everything I can to make it easier, I'm not cleaning, only making quick meals, carrying DD2 in sling to keep her settled as much as I can. DD1 is 2.5, she's been great and my snappiness just isn't fair. DP is doing absolutely loads to lighten my load, he's only been back at work for a week and a half and I'm just shit. There isn't anyone else offering tbh but I knew there wouldn't be so it's not a surprise. Will have to find a nice hv as I clashed with mine this time at 10 days over natural term bfing and I don't think I want to see her again. There is a nice one but she's hard to track down. Fuck it, thought I was doing so well

you are doing well !

you might need to lower your expectations of how well you ought to be doing at this point

a 2 year old and newborn is i think, the hardest combination of ages

a 2 year old is just an ego on legs and has no concept of anyone else having needs and feelings..

have you got considered homestart?

and once the school term starts, the mum & baby groups will get going again, getting out and about once or twice a week will be a real boost, local suresart or NCT are good places to start. and a breastfeeding cafe

also, have you got a pre school or nursery or anything set up for when DD1 is 3 and has some funded sessions?

xposts there picc. Yes, your first para is v familiar, you'd think I'd remember! It's so intense and DD2 is unputdownable. Even just tried a dummy so Icould put her down for a sec but she doesn't like it. I do still laugh and tings. Feela lot worse today though.

Had 6 week check todaybut she didn't ask so I forgot to say am a liability. Thanks for posting

i shall no doubt be posting something similar to you in October.

DC2 is due at the end of September... DS will be 20 months old then! So very similar...

Hang in there, and good luck with it all

How low can they go, lulu? I expected chaos butnotthatI would feel as shit as I do. DD1 has been so good, she's hardly tantrumming and so gentle with DD2. I don't think homestart have funding here atm, atleast they didn't last year. Am planning to get out to the groups again next week just for somewhere to go, including bfing cafe that we go to. DD1 will be starting nursery in September so that'll be a wee break.

\thanks both of you for your help.

good luck to you too picc.

all the best to you picc.

char, you are 5 weeks post partum 5 weeks. it is barely a blink of an eye in terms of adjustment to having two..

it took me 2 weeks to be able to leave the house with the two of them, and my oldest was almost 6...

one fateful day, we'd got ready to go out and then the door bell rang, and in the minute or two it took me to open it, DD was scik over the side of her bouncy chair into my handbag... how i laughed

Have you had your iron levels checked? I felt like you and the hv realised I was severely anaemic, as soon as the iron levels went up so did my energy and spirits
but it took til 12 weeks both times to feel normal iyswim

You're right, lulu, I know. I just want them both to be happy. I think it's going better than I think really. I get so panicked when DD2 is screaming, you know when the sound just goes through you, and it's colouring my view of the day. I wish I hadn't binned m bouncy chair from DD1, might go charity sho[ hunting for one tomorrow although I doubt she'd like it as she wants to be in arms. Sick story is familiar! I got dressed the other day to nip to park then got changed 2 seconds later as had been puked all over. Not so fun!

Thanks for that compo, will keep that in mind and mention to HV when I see her.

i cried nearly every day after ds2 was born 17 weeks ago, theres only 11 months between him and ds1. hv and dr diagnosed borderline pndb-b didnt want to go on pills. hv monitoring me popping in for a chat every few weeks. it has got much better over the last few weeks. was trying to do everything, clean, cook and do babies etc. now put babies first and every thing alse has still managed to get done anyway. hv said make time for yourself each day which i thought impossible but has actually happened. even if feeding ds2 and ds1 in bed can watch a prog ive recorded etc. had a blood test done as dr thought might be thyroid which affects mood. the one thing i had to stop was bf ds2 so i could spend time with ds1 and dh could share feeding. that was a personal decision but also helped. it will get better, hormones are all over the place and the body is taking some time to settle.