Do you think I am been unfair to dp over this

[adizem]

Hi
I have one ds who is 9.
I have always tried to compensate for the lack of siblings by having plenty of friends around even on the occasional sleepover.
I probably do have friends here too much at times especially more so in the school holidays.
A few members of my family such as my mom and sister have commented that its unfair to my dp to come in from work and have kids running about his house and that he must get really fed up.
I have had them occasionally on weekends which is dp's days off he works full time.
My mom popped in and commented that the house was cold with ds and his friend running in and out the garden and that she doesn,t know how dp stands it.
Dp has got fed up with it on occasions and I have tried to explain that because of the lack of siblings, and cousins of his own age in the family then ds deserves to have mates over.
Dp also hates it if I have a friend on a sleepover when he is at work the next day.
I have tried to do my best for ds so that he isn,t lonely but everyone seem to be on my case about this.
My mom also thinks that I let them do what they want and that they wreck my house.
Like all kids they do sometimes run a little wild but alot of the time they do just play quietly on the wii or whatever.
So what do you think am I been unfair to dp.
I do also work variable hours sometimes full time hours, but I still make time for ds to have friends.
Dp has really got at me today because I have a mate coming on a sleepover tomorrow and he is at work the next day he has stomped off saying it doesn,t feel like his home sometimes and its a joke.
I mean ds probably has someone to sleep over only very occasionally and probably has a playdate roughly three times a week after school more often in the holidays.

sounds to me there is another issue that you want more children thats why the guilt is coming out.
are you friends with any of the kids mums? could you do a 'special treat' say every 2 weeks you meet up with another mum and child and take them out of the house? just sounds very confined and very strained at the moment. i see your dp point not sure i would want other peoples kids running around all the time in my house. dont be a mug in the eyes of other parents either. i know you feel bad about your ds being an only child but an only child doesnt have to be a lonely child. your family set up is a fact and your ds needs to feel secure and content at home. maybe compromise down to 1 evening a week no tea included and every 2 weeks an outside treat and in hols how ever many you like but home before your dp gets in so you can enjoy family time together.

I was an only child. I didn't have friends around anything like that often and I don't remember ever feeling lonely!

If your DP is unhappy about it, maybe the balance needs to shift a bit more towards his needs.