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Everythings a mess! sorry vv long!

10 replies

kaylasmum · 05/04/2010 13:13

Hi,just need to let this all out as i have no-one i can talk to.

I have 5 kids aged 25,23,18,6 and 3. My elder 3 have left home and my 25 yo dd has a 4 you ds who i'm currently looking after at the moment, indefinately. My dd has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She was emotionally and physically abusing her ds and that is how he is with me now. She told her hv about it herself so she realised what she was doing and knew that she needed help. For 8 months he remained with his mum while she was getting a lot of support but it just did'nt work and they decided that my dgs would have to go into care. I could'nt see that happen so i said that i would take him on but would need support as i have 2 young dcs of my own.

My dd sees an alcohol counsellor and has been told in no uncertain terms that if she does'nt stop drinking she will not get her ds back, she is still drinking! She also can't control her spending and is always short of money. My dgs is very difficult to handle and my dc are finding it quite hard having him here.

My dp is'nt the father of my three older children but has been really good to them. My dp has had problems with his temper over the years and had anger management a few years ago which helped a lot. But the last night everything came to a head, i was working yesterday and my dp was watching the kids. When i finished work my dgs told me that my dp had turned him upside down, i asked my partner what happened and he said that he had picked him up and put him under his arm to take him out to the naughty step for hitting our puppy and that he was'nt actually upside down. He lifts our ds up in the same way. Anyway i accepted what he said. My dd comes round every evening to settle her ds for the night and he told his mum the same as he told me. She confronted my dp and he said that it was while he was taking him to the naughty step. My dd can be very confrontational and quite rude and dismissive for my dp. He was angry and told he to get out and she laughed at him, he stood up and moved over to her to tell her again to leave and she called him "a fucking retard". Then he grabbed her cardigan to try to get her to leave and i had to intervene. It ended up with my dd trying to take her ds out of the house, which she's not meant to do. Then she started sending me texts telling me how much she hate my dp and wished that he was dead, and that she was going to get her ds away from and kill herself. She has threatened this a few times in the past. She has also in the past couple of weeks hurt my ds, firstly by poking him on the foreheah and leaving a bruise and then pushing him to the ground. She also told him that she would break his fingers. This was because he hit her and had hit her ds. Her ds used to hit my ds continually and i would never have said or done those things.

Anyway my dp feels that he should leave, he thinks he's no good. My dd did come back to ours eventually and we sort of smoothed things over but i really don't know what to do. I feel so bad for my dd because this is all so hard for her but i also feel really bad for my dp as its been tough for him too and he's never said anyhting to her before about the way she treats our dc but ithink he'd just had enough. I'm not trying to condone what my dp did but ican understand why he felt the way he did.

I don't think i can carry on like this, i feel torn apart. All i want to do is keep my family together.

Sorry this is so long, just had to unload it all.

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fandango75 · 05/04/2010 13:23

oh my god - i know she is your dd but she sounds toxic and you need to keep her well away. your dp dcs and dgs are the priority now and she needs (more) help. Please don't let her round again for now - i am not qualified in this, is there somewhere you can get help / advice (maybe start by asking and explaining to your gp?)

so sorry you are going through this

kaylasmum · 05/04/2010 16:56

hi thanks for replying,

I'm trying to understand as she has a mental health illness but its very difficult and i have to think about my dc. She said some really horrible things to me last night. She said she hated me and despised her little brother and sister and that its my fault that she's the way she is. I was totally shocked at that as my kids are my life, i've always put them first. I'm not perfect i've made mistakes but i try my absolute best to do everything i can for them. She also said that she hoped that my dp would go and crash his car and die. Its hellish for me to hear her say these things.

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bumbums · 07/04/2010 22:58

I think that as your DD is an adult she must take resposibilty for her actions more. She's drinking and not dealing with her mental health issues.

You can't handle this on your own. Reassure and back up your DP. You need him.

I would prioritse the young/inocent dcs and dgs and your DP over her at the moment. All you can do for your DD is tell her you love her but she's got to get help. Councelling, medication etc. But ultimately she's got to want to change. and be a better person. For her sake and her kids. You can't force that. She's got to come to the realisation herself. I would stop her coming to your house untill she can prove she's taking steps to get better. Hard but ultimately may help her take responsability and eventually things may improve.

You should think about getting some help yourself ti cope with all this. Social worker etc. Sorry not an expert on this kind of thing. Take care.

Tortington · 07/04/2010 23:15

i agree, i think there needs to be a defined structure for visits in place. i don't think she should be able to pop round when she likes and turn things upside down.

the dgs needs to know who is alpha now, and from his POV, he is confused, mum used to be alpha - and still is it seems - but then there is you and your dp. there needs to be a definate alpha presence at home.

Tortington · 07/04/2010 23:16

oh and you do realise that this was all an excuse to create a drama which she can be the centre of don't you?

she doesn't care for her sons wellbeing clearly

kaylasmum · 08/04/2010 13:09

bumbums i'n not sure if i explained in my first post that my dd is receiving counselling at the moment, she also sees a physcologist and is having alternative treatments. All of which she is attending properly. There is also a scial worker involved, my dgs is on the child protection register.

From what i've heard BPD is a very difficult illness to treat. My dd is starting a new treatment in may called DBT, not too sure what it is but its a very intensive treatment. And yes part of her illness is wanting to be centre of attention. I feel bad for her but i know that i can't keep putting up with her behaviour as its wearing me down and i've had mental health issues of my own and i'm trying to keep myself on an even keel.

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bumbums · 08/04/2010 20:14

Glad she is getting good treatment for the bpd.
Well life is going to be this tough for the forseable future so how about working out how everyone can have some fun and light hearted relief from it all on a regular basis. To keep you all from slipping under.
You are keeping this family together so it is vital that you are a.) well supportted emotionally and practically, and b.) given proper time off from it all. Even if its only a couple of hours every fortnight.
As far as your dg is concerned. You'll already know that his difficult behaviour is down to the instability of his relationship with his mum. He craves love and stability. A predicatable routine and lots of affection.
I can't tell your already doing your best.
Keep asking for lots of help and don't struggle on alone.

bumbums · 08/04/2010 20:15

I meant that I can tell your doing your best!

Katyathegringa · 09/04/2010 21:17

Wow, that is a tough situation. Being a mum (as funnily enough a few of us are on this forum ) it is not hard to see why you feel so torn, she is your daughter after all. But, those less able to defend or look after themselves (i.e. DCs and DGS) are the ones that need the stability and care from their grand/parent, although this must be really hard considering DP feels that DGS should leave.

The whole routine/structure idea sounds like a good one, i.e. planned visitation in a controlled environment, and hopefully the situation won't escalate again as it did.

Can I ask a question, are you convinced that your DP didn't get a little bit heavy handed with DGS? I only ask as you mentioned that DGS is a bit of a terror (not surprising considering he has clearly had a pretty rough time with his mum) and I know how easily kids can wind up even the most placid of adults.

kaylasmum · 11/04/2010 23:40

Katyathegringa Sorry i did'nt mean that my dp thinks my dgs should go, he thinks he should go himself. And yes i'm totally convinced that my dp did'nt get too heavy handed. He explained to me and my younger dd told me what had happened and it was'nt a big deal at all. My dgs has a habit of over exaggerating things, if i put my hand on his back ti gently move him along he tells me that i've pushed him. He also has a habit of telling lies even when its blatantly obvious that he's lying.

I just want my dd to get better so that she can have her ds back where he belongs, but i'm really worried that its not going to happen. She just is'nt trying hard enough. I know that she's still drinking and occasionally smoking dope which really is'nt helping her recovery. I'm at my wits end!

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