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needing advice with my 4 year old boy

4 replies

Amyboid · 04/04/2010 23:03

hi everyone, just after a bit of advice about my 4 year old son and his behaviour, after hints and tips to get past it before it gets out of control. after being potty trained for well over a year (apart from at night) he has suddenly started wetting himself, he never does it at pre school, mainly at home or at someone elses home if me and/or his dad are present, we also are having an ongoing battle with him not wanting to do anything we say, for example asking him to have a wash brush his teeth get dressed etc can take up a large chunk of the morning, starting with him saying No and then ending with him screaming his head of, i've tried so many things to get him to do as he's told, but really could to with some advice, I had a baby 10 weeks ago which would be the obvious reason to his change in his behaviour, but as I keep telling him his new brother is here to stay and no amount of screaming and shouting is going to change that, whenever im breastfeeding his brother he always manages to find something he needs me to do, and he always manages to make me feel guilty for not being able to do it!!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
fidelma · 04/04/2010 23:53

Quite tough for you.It sounds like he is ajusting, poor you.Just be loving, calm and very firm.Tell him what you want him to do and keep telling him untill he has done it.Stickers always help in our house.

My 4 year old struggled when his brother arrived 6 months ago.I gave him a quick massages after his baths which realy helped him. (slightly exhausting for me but so worth it )

Good luck things will settle down.

MrsTriangle · 05/04/2010 21:57

Get some one to one time in with him as soon as possible - as much as you can. Get your DP on board to take the baby and and spend a couple of weekends doing as many 2 hour blocks with him as you can - coffee out together, walk together etc etc - he's desperate for attention from you, so give it to him. once he feels better, he'll calm down and will be more ameniable to you doing other things. It will be so worth it and yes it means you being supermum when you're already stretched to your limits and doing a brilliant job.

MadameSin · 06/04/2010 17:13

I had a large age gap between my dc. 'Regressive' wetting is very common for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes physical, but often for attention and it's perfectly normal. I used to read a book to my ds1 when I was breast feeding the baby ... this gave him my attention and a little quiet moment at the same time. I also used to ask him to fetch a nappy, cream etc and make him feel really important while I was feeding ... "I couldn't do this without you ... You are such a brilliant helper" etc etc. Great idea to get DP on the case, but realise this isn't always practical.

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Amyboid · 06/04/2010 17:19

thanks for your help, as he is off school I have expressed plenty of milk, and I am taking him to london for the day on thursday just me and him, am hoping this will help, I do have my dp around quite a bit, as he works hift, so he's either here all morning or all eveining, so i'm definatly going to concentrate on more one on one time, he's always been such a good boy from being born so guess him playing up a bit was a shock to the system, but i guess its just a natural reaction to a new addition,

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