My 5 year old thinks I'm going to die !!!

[mummyloveslucy]

Hi, I had quite a strange conversation this morning with my 5 year old daughter. Today is the first anniversary of her Nanna's death and they were very close.
She came in to my room first thing in the morning crying. I asked her what the matter was and she said "I don't want you to go to hevan", I said "what do you mean?" and she said "I don't want you to die". I then said "don't worry, I'm not going to die", feeling very She then said "but you are going to". I asked her why she thought this and she said "Nanna told me". [worried] This was such a strange thing for her to come out with, should I be worried?? What a strange thing for her to say.
What do you make of this?

Shes just 5 and all her emotions and memories have become a bit jumbled.

Besides which we are all going to die at least be thankful you didnt get a date .

2 things I wanted to ask you ....well 3 actually lol

1/have you been on your MN holiday yet
2/hows your dd doing at school
3/ did you get her some new shoes?

and being v nosey did they give you all your wages eventually?

I think it is quite usual for dcs of about this age to suddenly fixate on death and dying. They get all sorts of odd ideas about ghosts etv too. It is all quite normal. Don't worry, just reassure her that you don't intend to die for a while yet and encourage her to talk about how she misses her Nanna if she wants to.

Did she remember the date or had it been mentioned that is was the anniversary?

Hi, no we go on the holiday in 2 weeks time, Lucy is enjoying school, we got her new shoes from start-rite in the end and yes, they finally paid me.

Oh thats good news all round then.

No, she wouldn't have known it was the anniversary, as we don't talk about it in front of her. It's possible she might have heard it from someone else though.
She often talks about her Nanna out of the blue, and sometimes crys because she misses her.

Yes it is, I'm a bit worried about the holiday now though. I hope she didn't have a premonition.

Dont be ridiculous.

If you were really going to die would Lucys Nanna have told Lucy???

Its just a little girl whos trying to understand the world.

And you need to enjoy this holiday and come home refreshed and relaxed - as my teens would say 'chill'..

still as though of your holiday..

True! I am really looking forward to it. It's our first family holiday.
She is a strange little girl really, I don't think even I fully understand her. She is very complex.
I think she thinks about things a lot but can't seem to make sence of certain things.
She says she used to be in hevan before she came here and that it was nice there but she wanted to be with me because she missed me.

Dont dispute what shes saying ds3 used to say all sorts of things that really had happened before he was born ,what was really odd was the things he said about MIL she did in 95 as he was born in 2000 and he knew her he really did he spoke in detail about sitting with her in the bright place and watching us until one day she said to him that his family was ready for him.....the things he said gave great consolation to dh and were really far beyond a 4 year olds comprehension....and then all of a sudden when he was about 6 he stopped,when I asked him about it he said he wasnt 'allowed' to talk about it anymore.

Its v hard for a little one to put everything in context,I know your dd has had some problems but even my ds3 a very articulate child found it hard to differentiate between 'then'(before he was born) and here with us.

Hed say things like 'thats how it used to smell before ' when he smelt freshly cut grass and say when nanny hugs me i feel warm etc etc.

weird or what.

I think it must be true but as soon as children are old enough to debate this they 'lose' the ability.

Wow, I do find it all facinating. My Dad is actually a medium, so I do obviously believe in life after death etc.
She's also said "It's a shame I can't fly anymore". I laughed and just went along with it and said "Yes, I bet you miss that".
My Dad said he once heard a conversation between me and my sister who's 2 years younger. I said "tell me again about heaven, what's it like? I'm starting to forget".
We were 3 and 5. I don't remember saying it though.

This kind of conversation is absolutely normal with children this age. They struggle to make sense of life and death and they are too young to distinguish between memories and imagination. Children I know have told their mums they used to peep out from inside their tummies and have a look around: now I think we can be pretty sure that never happened. My niece claimed she had cousins who got eaten by lions- again, I'd find that fairly unlikely.

Lol Well, I'm still here anyway.