Has your DH/DP never changed a nappy?

[franch]

If not, why not? Is it his decision or yours?

DH asked me to post this as we've met a few mums recently who've complained about this and he's curious - also surprised by the "ooh, isn't he a good dad" comments whenever he's spotted changing DD's (which is all the time when we're out and about).

my dp does nothing (nappies, baths, early feeds etc) and when i protest it escalates into "im not the man for you" , "i'm tired too" & the "i go to work" line. I had a section, emg, ds born 1 month early, and to date (ds is 11 mnths) he has done 5 nappies and 3 early feeds. As you can probably guess my spirit is a bit broken on this one, i couldn't bear another row and wonder why I let it happen?!

So Pomi, Saacsmum et al - have you chosen to do things this way and are you happy with it? Do you ever complain to your DHs about it or not?

When ds2 was born ds1 was only 11 months. After giving birth a few hours later i came to mil's home where i left ds1. Foud out that he has done a poo. mil was busy with the kids he childminded, I told dh to change him but he was busy checking his post so i decided to do it myself but when i got up i found myself too weak to carry ds1 then mil told me not to do it as she would do when she finish her work. After 15 minutes of patient i start shouting at dh so he got up and did it. He did changed one or two times more after that but it was so difficult to get him do it than doing it myself.

pomi i agree, my dp always says "just ask me" but when i do, and now is now is'nt it!?, he always says i'm just finishing my coffee, or cigarette (outside), im tired, or can't you. I wish i didn't need to ask, it's simpler to cut him out and give ds a break (he get holes in his bum if hes left in a soiled nappy). dp sometimes hovers to talk when im changing ds, but legs it if its a poo. I don't know why he is so unhelpful, but i know i can't find the energy to cajole him into it v get on with it. Probalby the heart of it? Lord help me when ds is a todler!

blossom girl, I like your name. Can i ask what your origon is. If you are asian i would not be surprised.

frach i think you have got your answer. Every mum need help with their kids as it is such a hard work.

when my other 2 were babies iwould have been steaming if dh didnt change their nappies. but he did. and this tiome it doesnt bother me that he hasnt, even when he is out of hospital and home i dont get him tochange nappies. life is too short to argue about dirty bottoms.

dh did the odd nappy but as he works 12 hours six days a week he was seldom around. He never did a night feed (lacked the bosoms required). He was good at getting ds to sleep but never did a bath that I remember. He is now very good at playing football and wrestling with ds at the weekends but hasn't got a clue what he eats or what he likes as a bedtime story. He goes to work at 6am and doesn't get home until 7:30 when ds is already asleep.

I would ideally like to have a more hands on partner but if we were to afford it I would have to go out to work too, we have decided that it is better this way round.

Dp is primary carer so has done far more nappies than I ever have - in fact he makes me do the smelly ones at the weekend just so I don't miss out

Well, as a bloke I have to say I actually quite enjoy changing nappies so I think anyone who doesn't do any are missing out. (Although this might change once DS starts weaning). But DS seems to quite enjoy having his nappy changed and you're doing something practical and easy to help your baby and you end up with a happy, clean, sweet-smelling baby (its a bit like the cleaning the car). I find it a bonding experience.

my dh tried the " but i don't know how to..." bollocks. the proper retort is " well i wasn't born with a special fking ability to...change nappies, sew buttons, wash pots, cook tea, iron shirts " whatever

Yes. Although we broke up while I was pregnant my ex is very involved. When dd was born he had never held a baby or had any experience with young children but he learnt VERY quickly!! Now he has dd on his own he obviously has to change nappies but I think I got him started around week one... he was quite determined to be able to do everything himself. Thank god.

Good grief, are there really men who don't? Apart from Gordon Ramsay I mean.

My DH did about 10 per cent of nappies with DS1 , but with DS2 he has done 2 ( no... not 2 per cent... 2 nappies!) He never did night feeds... he too lacked boobs required. Our DS1 is 5 years old in November and DS2 is 14 mths old... I am 16 wks pg with our 3rd baby and the other day we went for a walk to the river with all the stuff required eg... fishing net, bucket, ball, drinks ,crisps etc and on the way home he said (seriously) "children are hard work arnt they".
I should have punched him there and then but I am just too knackered to bother, but if he doesnt pull his blody finger out I shall stay in hospital longer than I really need to after baby is born just to teach him a lesson. Pointless I know coz he would just get his mum and sister to do the important jobs... ie taking DS 1 to school!

I think my Dh would be a very soon exDH if he refused to change nappies!!!!

Its like when I leave DD with him, and my mum asks "Will he be ok with her by himself all day"... YES! He's her father, can't think of anyone better to be with her all day!!!

He should be so bloody lucky!

My DH only changed one of DS's nappies, he was born Aug '99 and hubby is an IT engineer so was working all hours on Y2k stuff. When that was over I'd got so used to doing it myself I didn't think to ask him to (daft eh! )

DD (27mo) is a different matter, he takes his share in doing her nappies as he was able to do it from the start - likewise baths.

Adamant when we were expecting ds that "no way" was he going to go near nappies.
He is very very squeemish and doesnt do any thing to do with the toilet dept.
HOWEVER when ds arrived he did it no problem from the word go and has done ever since, ds is 2 now.

DH does nappies, baths, hsework - pretty much everything apart from iron his shirts which pisses me off!!! he ran the hse when i was suffering from morning sickness with DD2 .