encouraging personal care in older children

[SugarTits]

I can't seem to get the message across to my dd1 (11) about washing etc. She's needed deodorant for about 18 months and we had a conversation in the beginning about washing under arms every morning etc. Still I'm having to nag her and if I don't mention it, she just doesn't bother. I've gently explained that I can smell if she hasn't and her friends may notice too. She gets embarrassed, but still the next morning unless I remind her she doesn't do it. At the same time she's obviously not wiping herself as her knickers are quite messy. A couple of days ago I went into the loo after her and she hadn't flushed, there was no loo paper in there. So I don't think she's bothering to wipe at all.

We've had chats about the changes she's going through and she's very open about asking me any questions she has etc. I just don't know how to get her into a routine of looking after herself.

Showers and clean underclothes every day.

She may take more notice of comments from friends than from you!

I'm going thro similar - dd1 is about to be 11 and I'm noticing a whiff after a sweaty day. I just tell her to shower when the time is appropriate - she is still a child and expects me to tell her when it's bathtime etc.

My dd is 10 and quite well developed for her age.

But she's still 10, so I am quite proactive.

Showers every 2nd day, in between a good wash. As she is going into the bathroom in the morning I remind her kind of cheery like "remember to wash all the bits!" and so she does. I think at primary age (is your dd still primary - as we are in Scotland my dd is) you need to be pretty active in getting them into the routine - now dd sometimes does the "I know Mum" when I remind her.

Not wiping herself or flushing is a bit different though - she should know that by now (currently struggling with this with dd2 (6) ). More reminders?

I try to remember I was an adolescent girl once....... bu tit was soooooo long ago!