What do you play with your children?

[Angiel]

I have had another crappy day and I'm feeling guilty that I never seem to actually find the time to sit down and play with my kids.

I just wondered how much one to one attention you give your children and I was also after some ideas of things that we could all do together. Their ages are 5, 3 and 1.

Pre bathtime game.

Put kettle on.

Tape some old wallpaper over the kitchen table, completely covering it.

Run bath.

Squirt paint over table. Place three ( naked ) children on top of table.

Drink coffee while children rub paint all over table and each other.

Place children in bath, then bed.

We play all kinds of games, from physical running about type games to board games, puzzles, reading, cooking, art projects, drawing, duplo, trainsets etc.

Start with something you enjoy doing and go from there.

lots of reading. Rolling around on the bed. Listening to music and dancing.Singing. Putting water in the garden with plastic cups etc.
I know, it never feels like enough does it and I'll bet you're really exhausted with three little ones to direct all day. Do you have a babysitter so you can have an hour or two off during the day?

I feel the same as you anqiel, somedays I feel as if I don't have the time to spend with ds.

I get him to run round then call something out like jump, run round again then get him to fly the plane (arms out to side)etc he loves it and it wears him out so I can have a coffee!!

read books, puzzles, painting, gluing, play cars, counting, trains.

I do these in between the housework, say 1/2 hr work and then 1/2 hr play.

Hope this helps.

Life is a game. Make all of it as much fun as possible and involve the children. Let's all mop the floors. Let's all go shopping. I'll choose the breakfast cereal, you can choose the vegetables. Let's all do some gardening next. You have to think a step ahead of them but it gets away from the time for me and time for you thing which is an artificial barrier. For more ideas read The Continuum Concept.

I've recently become a SAHM and started off with a weekly planner, dividing each day up into activities. That didn't last long!

Now I'm more relaxed about what we do, bar a few key activities like DD's gym club on a Monday morning. I do try to make sure that we do something together each day e.g. painting or play dough or sticking. Otherwise I try to make a game out of the other stuff, as purplepoppy has said.

And you have to accept that you'll never get it right and will always be wracked with guilt that you're not the perfect mother

I try hard to make sure that I spend half an hour a day with no music/radio and just do whatever they want to do. When dd1 is at nursery in the morning I spend half an hour with dd2 (8 months) looking at toys, books etc having stupid gooing conversations and NOT doing housework.

Then in the afternoon I spend half an hour reading to dd1 or doing threading (a big fave at the moment) or teaching her to sew (she's rubbish but she loves it - we use a darning needle and a bit of old felt) or playing endless roleplaying games ('you be Mr Magregor and I be Peter Rabbit', you be the lady and I be the naughty pony' etc etc).

They both sit in the kitchen for an hour or so, dd1 doing painting etc and dd2 chewing a breadstick/playing with toys while I cook something.

foot ball football football

Meant to say that the rest of the time they just sort of fit in to whatever I am doing. Dd1 has gym club once a week and she rides a pony/goes swimming at the weekend (shes 3.5).

Ps a am a stereotypical girl when footballing - crap with lots of pathetic shrieking.

(My cleaners daughter plays for England!)

I'm not surprised you are struggling with three such young children. I think you should give yourself a break - you have a really tough job! I suppose the only answer when you feel like this is to sod the housework altogether and spend time with the children instead. I only have one most of the time (ds 21 months) and at weekends an 11 year old stepdaughter, who can entertain ds. He likes... watering the garden with the hose turned on low (watering himself more like, but he loves it), having books read to him (you could all pile on the sofa and you could read to all three) taking things out of the kitchen drawers to look at (grater, spoons, rolling pin) playing with toy saucepans and dried pasta. And he watches Teletubbies (endlessly if I let him!). Do your children play together? Could you organise a picnic or tea party you could all sit down (with toys as well). He also likes to join in with what I'm doing, eg cleaning the kitchen (which doesn't happen that often, must be the novelty that appeals, but he doesn't like toy versions of the Swiffer, cloth etc, he wants adult ones, so this afternoon we're off to the pound shop to buy another dustpan & brush etc!

Angiel - I solve this one by always always going out with ds - preferably to somewhere we both like. If we spend all morning at the park (or wherever) I consider he has had "his" time and when we get home I get on with other things in the hope that he will play by himself while I do it.

I still feel guilty for not doing more face -to -face playing with him though. The problem for me is that most of the things DS (aged 3) likes doing in the house (brumming cars, train driving etc) I find incredibly boring and I just can't do them for very long before wanting to scream.

Things I do enjoy doing with him are: puzzles, building train tracks, reading stories, making lego stuff (altho' he's still a little young for this), going for a coffee and a cake (my personal favourite!).

Don't feel bad about it - I don't remember my mum ever playing with me - I was no. 3 of 4 - and look how well I turned out! (ha!)

In order to enjoy the sun we have had lateley and top up my tan, I give my ds (15 months) a bowl of water and a sponge and let him wash his ride on car. He loves it and it keeps him entertained for about an hour!

I spent alot of time with dd (now 6) painting, cooking, cut/stick etc and she never wanted to go to nursery because she did all that with mummy. She is now quite demanding too - so it did me no favours! DS (almost 3) and very hard work, I find him draining both physically and mentally, however he loves nursery, when he is at home all he wants to do is make a mess and be destructive.
Angiel you must find it very difficult to have time for all three, I bet they love playing with each other.

I have similar age children (7, 5, 3 & 1). I'm a terrible mother because I hardly do anything with them. They basically entertain themselves, each other - that's the beauty of having a large family - people say "I don't know how you do it" but honestly, it's often less work with more children because they don't look to you for entertainment all the time.

I get on with my stuff (reading books / the paper, snacking, small amounts of housework, admin, mumsnetting). They come to me if they want something, eg help with jigsaw or PC, 1 year old often wants to play action games, eg row,row the boat, stalky john, or football, or to show me something.

I don't feel guilty at all because they're happy, they don't seem to have suffered educationally at all, and I am a (usually) unstressed mum.

I agree - i find it much harder when one of mine is somewhere else. it gives me hours of pleasure just watching them messing around in an unstructured way!

We play anything with water! Hours in the bath in wet, cold weather, hours out-side in the paddling pool in warm weather. (With hot water and bubbles though)
Paint, flour, rice, pasta. I've spent so much on wasted toys. All they need is a saucepan and things to put in it. Oh and bubbles. ds is nearlly 2 and, like me, loves bubbles. The best way I find to make them is with 'no tears' shampoo, then if it gets in his eyes it doesn't hurt.
I agree with purplepoppy, make eveything fun. They won't want you to play when they're bigger. Make the most of it while you've still got an excuse to play. We do