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Original poster

Using cutlery the wrong way round...

55 replies

Gravitygirl · 29/03/2010 18:11

H and I had a huge row at the weekend over our dc eating with the cutlery.
H eats with his fork in the left hand and knife in the right, I hate it and now the kids have started copying.He says he has eaten like that for most of his life, despite dinners being withold and being banished to his room for not eating correctly, he is adament he could not use the knife and fork the other way round.
I dont want my children eating like that, he called me a snob, Im not , I just dont want them to get picked on for eating the wrong way round.
Does anyone think it is a physical impossibility or something that needs perserverance or should I just let them eat how they like incase they cant eat the correct way, is there a correct way? or is it ettiquette?

Help!

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CocoChantelle · 29/03/2010 22:54

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smackapacka · 29/03/2010 23:02

I'm right handed and eat wrong - no-one has every 'picked on me' or even noticed as far as I'm aware. Of all the parenting battles to pick, this wouldn't be one of mine.

seeker · 30/03/2010 06:55

As I said - knife in either hand so long as it's not held like a pen.

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puppie · 30/03/2010 08:22

I do this. I am 31 and it has made no difference to my life in any way, shape or form!I would leave it, I honestly don't hink it is bad manners which way round...there are many other things I consider bad table manners but that isnt one of them.

Original poster
Gravitygirl · 30/03/2010 08:32

Thankyou once again for your insight, its good to know I can relax and not worry about it being a heinous crime...

OP posts:
BigTillyMint · 30/03/2010 09:24

Seeker, that's what I keep telling DH.

I am turning into my mother

Firawla · 30/03/2010 12:52

if it makes you feel any better, a lot of ppl consider ur dh and dc way as the "correct" one so i dont think people will think bad of your dc eating that way round. in a lot of cultures its rude to eat with your left hand, so fork should be in the right

onesouffle · 30/03/2010 21:26

You are a weirdo.

I eat the 'wrong' way round and I am right handed. Variety is the spice of life!

Get a grip.

IMoveTheStars · 30/03/2010 21:29

OP, I'm with you - I get irrationally irritated by this.

My Sister holds her cutlery in the wrong hands, AND she holds them like a pen. all wrong

Hulababy · 30/03/2010 21:41

My 7y DD does this. We do try to stop it and she is trying to do it the other way round. She is generally right handed but does some things, including this, left handed. She knows it is the "wrong" way and we are working on it, but it is something that we have been working on since she was a toddler. She really does find it very difficult to eat right handed for some reason.

We mainly try to get her to swap as it is frustrating for us when she lays the table and the cutlery is all the wrong way round, lol! And how on earth will she cope at big posh meals when she is all grown up?

We will perserve to an extent, although without making it a big issue, but never realised anyone would thing to judge her about it.

seeker · 30/03/2010 22:02

There is no "right" hand to hold a knife in. I have eaten in lots of very grand places in my time, and the fact that I hold my knife in my left hand has never been the slightest problem. I defy anyone to find anything in any etiquette book about it.

Don't hold it like a pen.
Don't wave it around.
Put it on your plate rather than holding it if you are pausing between mouthfuls.
Put your knife and fork neatly together vertically on the plate with the prongs of the fork up and the blade of the knife turned in when you have finished.
Don't use your fork like a shovel.
Don't ever put your knife near your mouth.
Don't scrape your knife against your fork
BUT IT DOESN"T MATTER WHAT HAND YOU HOLD IT IN!!!!!

mamas12 · 30/03/2010 23:11

Hear hear seeker!

bloss · 31/03/2010 08:24

Message withdrawn

mingler · 31/03/2010 12:31

I do this. My mother was left handed and I learnt to eat and write left handed. The writing got drummed out of me at school but I still have to switch the cutlery around whenever I go out for dinner.

slowshow · 31/03/2010 13:33

I am right handed and use my cutlery the "wrong" way round. No one ever notices, and I've never been picked on about it I doubt I'll be invited for a dinner at Buckingham Palace anytime soon, so I don't have to worry about committing a heinous social faux pas.

bruffin · 31/03/2010 14:25

My right handed mum eats left handed, so does my DS but my left handed DD has started eating right handed- I think we are just confused.

Acinonyx · 01/04/2010 18:44

I do this and I have no idea how it came about. It has been mentioned many times, in many posh places, and I care not. I also favour the use of a spoon whenever possible.

Dh is American - makes my use of cutlery look like the Queen

Personally, I would be more concerned that my dc might be so insecure that they could feel remotely threatened or ashamed by such a trivial violation of social norms.

pinkycheesy · 01/04/2010 20:09

I am a bit of a Victorian with table manners and cutlery and I try to instill them into my kids. We were at a restaurant recently and my DS1 actually did comment to me about the appalling cutlery manners of a man on a nearby table, DS1 said "that looks awful, I'm glad I dont eat like that". To be fair, the man was holding both knife and fork in his fists, like he was going to cut down trees with them! I have to say I have never seen anyone eating the 'wrong' way round but maybe I wouldnt notice if they were holding them 'correctly' (not like a pen...aaaargh!!).

hihihi · 30/11/2011 20:17

Holding a knife and fork the wrong way around is a common trait found in most people with dyspraxia. It might be a good idea to have him tested to see if this is the case. www.dyspraxicteens.org.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=6941

needanewname · 30/11/2011 20:23

OMG - at least they hold a knife and fork!

DH is right handed but eats left handed (note not the wrong way!) both DD's also eat this way, not copied from their dad, jsut how they feel more comfortable and they have tried both ways.

workshy · 30/11/2011 20:28

jeeez as long as they don't make a mess let them use which hands they want

my dd uses the 'wrong hands' but when we tried to get her to use them the other way round we ended up with yorkshire puddings and sausages being flung across the table

this went on for weeks until we let her do it her way and she now cuts things up beautifully and people have only ever commented on her lovely manner, not that she has her knife and fork in the wrong hands

smackapacca · 30/11/2011 20:31

I'm 33. I hold my knife and fork the 'wrong' way round.

I can't tell you the ways it has held me back... The bullying, name calling, the utter humiliation in restaurants.

I hate my Mum for allowing me to grow up like this.

It's no life I tell you!!!

Oh wait - no that's not right. Nobody has noticed, nobody gives a shit.

usualsuspect · 30/11/2011 20:35

Ah ,this is an old thread ,I'm sure I must have already had an opinion Grin

smackapacca · 30/11/2011 20:36

OMG - this thread is from over a year ago and I ALREADY REPLIED!!!!!

usualsuspect · 30/11/2011 20:39

Grin you still feel the same then smaka Grin

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