...that I'm doing the right thing.
Just signing up DD1 for her free hours of childcare. I have nothing against childcare in itself, I have used it in the past so I can work and study, but the fact is, I don't need it now. I'm a SAHM (and have another DC at home so it's not like it would give me a break), DD1 is learning and socialising well with me, going to playgroups and activities, she has loads of open ended toys which she has free access to, messy play, healthy food, outdoor space and lots of cuddles, but people keep telling me that she should go to some kind of nursery
We've found a lovely nursery, but it just feels so wrong to send her there while I go home to just look after the baby (who obviously I love, but they don't exactly DO much, do they?) and maybe do housework.
It feels like I am somehow abdicating my responsibilities to her, she is still so little. I know it is only three hours a day, but the whole day will just fly by - get up, breakfasted and dressed, do maybe one game or activity, or a playgroup, nap/quiet time, lunch, nursery, tea, bath, story, bed.
What is the point in me being a SAHM if I'm expected to hand over my child for hours each day? i know she will love the nursery, and everyone is telling me it would be best for her, but somehow I keep taking that as them meaning that she needs somebody better than me looking after her (even though i know that's not what they mean, iyswim)
I have agreed to try it out, but I can just see nursery turning into full time school, and then my baby will be grown up and she'll have spent loads of that time being one of the hundreds of children someone will have looked after or taught, not one of the two for me.
Am I just being selfish? I've namechanged, so don't out me if you recognise me