Invited to playgroup by another mum - now realise it's evangelical christian, not me at all!

[SqueezyB]

I got chatting to another mum at a local toddler art group today after our DDs were playing together. We've not been in the area long so don't know many people, and she was telling me about a lovely playgroup she goes to, and invited us to go along with her and her little girl next week. Great, I thought, made a new mummy friend!

I just looked it up online to see where it is, it turns out it's at quite an evangelical christian church, and it describes itself as a christian playgroup with fun christian songs for the kids!?

Nothing against religion, but I am a lapsed catholic and not religious at all, nor do I want to bring up my kids to be religious... should I text this other mum and make some excuse and not go?? But on the other hand she was lovely and I could do with some new mummy friends, I just won't feel comfortable if it all starts getting a bit Jesus...

What would you do?

I would go. If its too Jesus, don't go back, and tell the other mum why.

It might be lovely and not all that religious, even with Christian songs.

It's not in north London is it?

Because there's a playgroup near here which is in an evangelical church. Everyone goes to it - not churchy people - and it's a really fantastic, friendly playgroup. I seem to remember they used to read one bible story (e.g Noah's Ark/loaves and fishes) to the kids, then got on with Wheels on the Bus etc etc.

Lots of churches run playgroups as a service to the community, not a way of converting people.

I'd give it a go too. It might not be as bad as you think. If you don't like it, just say it's not really your thing

go and try it. you need never go back if its too much!

i go to one at a church nearby - mostly as my mates go with their little ones. it's fine for the most part - nice songs to sing and stuff to play with and activities for the older ones. the only bit i don't really like is the bible story. its a children's version and they try and liven it up with actions or toys to keep the children's attention but sometimes i zone out a lot!
ds is only just a year so too little to understand jesus etc. tbh i suppose the stories are ok really as they usually have a nice moral value to them, just don't like the bits about how ace jesus was.

I'd give it a go too - I'm a Christian (though not as evangelical as I once was!) and church playgroups are usually pretty low key - and there are a lot of good Christian songs for kids!!

If it is "too Jesus" for you don't go back.

And Mrsflux - Jesus is ace

I go to one at a Baptist Church. It is fine, there is a bit at biccie and juice time where the helpers sing religious children's songs (some of which are very odd so are quite entertaining). They say grace and the craft often has a bible theme but not always obviously. That is about it.

On the other hand the volunteers are lovely and enthusiastic and very inclusive and do not preach. I have seen them comfort mums who are struggling in a really lovely way. It is also free so you get more of a mix of people. They are doing a great service for the community (even if I do have to bite my tongue sometimes!).

sqeezy B I would go and try it once and then you will know for sure. Sometimes these church groups can be very good. I tried two when my boys were small, both at churches- one very 'holy' and never went again, the other was warm welcoming and I made some brilliant friends there- some went to the church - some had never set foot in a church their whole life. i think its mainly just the church doing their bit for the commumity. Also most village halls belong to churches and they often have a car park alongside which is handy. Anything for a coffee in those little green cups and saucers...do you remember them??!!

ok, you've all made me feel a bit better, I guess it would be rude not to give it a try. This other mum never mentioned anything about religion, so maybe she is actually being nice rather than trying to convert us! I think all those years of rebelling at catholic school have left me with a lifetime distrust of anything remotely religious!

I go to a church group with dd (13 months) - who isn't christened. Dh and I would probably describe ourselves as agnostic.

I don't have much choice of babygroups where I live, and the few that are here cost a small fortune - this is free.
As others have said, the people who run it are very welcoming and laid-back, and a fantastic mix of people attend. I think it is run as a service to the local parish, not anything else, and I feel grateful that it's available to me here.

It's mostly free play and chat between Mums and Dads, a craft activity, and nibbles/tea for the parents, with a short bible story and a few songs at the end.

To be honest, I want dd to grow up knowing the bible stories - whether we're religious or not, she needs to know them for cultural reasons/to understand English literature - Easter, the Good Samaritan, Noah's ark,the Christmas story, etc etc.

Give it a try, I bet you'll be pleasantly surprised!
(Speaking as someone who was also very distrustful at first, and felt quite uncomfortable during the bible story (done from a pop-up book or as a puppet show) at first).

give it a go. I used to go to a nice toddler group run by an evangelical church - they were very moderate, didn't push religion on you at all, the group was run as a general community outreach project.

I would give it a go.

I am not religuous at all, however I went to a evangelical baby group and they were absolutely lovely to me, not at all judgy (I was a teenage mother) and utter wells of kindness. They did not 'push' the religious aspects at all, there were religious nursery rhymes but that was all fine by me.

I would recommend it and not pre-judge.

I go to one in a Methodist Church, and apart from a song they sing at the end of singing time there isnt much 'Christian' about it. Some of the mums just dont join in with that bit.

I go to one (I'm not religious) and apart form the church setting there's no mention of jesus or anything religious at all. It's just a nice, popular playgroup, lots of fun.

I've had more religious stuff shoved down my throat at the local methodist one, there's a patronising old woman who despairs that she can't get us young heathen mums or our babies interested in the church.

So I say suck it and see!

I used to go to a very churchy church one until we moved house. It was lovely and lots of non-church people went too. There was a bible story at snack time and usually a christian song on top of the usual twinkle twinkle and wind the bobbin but the rest was normal toddler mayhem.

Oh in fact I'm lying, they do one very short prayer before serving up drinks and biscuits. Not a big deal.

I would give it a try.

The toddler groups that we go to (that aren't Surestart ones) are all in churches and I haven't found any of them to be particularly religious.

The information for one of the groups said "fun for children 0-3 in a relaxed Christian environment" but they don't do anything particularly religious like sing songs etc. Sometimes leaflets are given out to tell you what's on at the church but other than that...

I'm not religious at all, btw but they don't know that and I can imagine that not many of the people who go to the same group are either.

I used to go to one at a Church and it was the loveliest one I have been too, always a craft table, biscuit and a cuppa. There were Bible songs, but fairly low key. On the kids birthdays they get given a little Bible story book. I'm a complete atheist, but found it quite sweet.

LOL @ 'too Jesus'.

I would go, but if its not your thing make an excuse to not go back.

Also religious content likely to go over your DDs head anyway and bible stories like Noah's ark can be nice even if you are not religious.

I'd go, and if you don't like it, just say "thanks ever so much for inviting me, it's a great group, but I'm not actually religious, so I feel a bit out of place there. Maybe we could meet for a coffee next week?"

Simples.

I'm so delighted to hear there are all these Christian groups out there that aren't being pushy!! Sometimes Christians get a bad rap on MN and it makes me feel all to hear that there are people out there doing it well!

If you have to "push" your religion on someone I hardly think that's welcoming. Some of them will undoubtedly be praying for your heathen souls, but if they keep the biccies coming, then that would be good enough for me!!

I sympathise Squeezy. I have a huge distrust of religious children's groups or activities which is a shame as some of them are probably quite good. But I won't go to any...my experiences as a child at the 'holiday bible club' taught me that though the message is supposed to be 'love everyone and be nice to little children' the reality just is like anything else -there are some nice people and some out and out nasty bastards who hate kids!

Not that your friend's thing is full of these, of course, but it left a bad taste iyswim.

Ds1 regularly comes home with 'holiday' schemes advertised in his bag, and I get excited about it till I realise it's at the Baptist church or the evangelical one or similar. It feels like fraud - let's get the children involved and THEN we can convert them, ha ha, type thing.

I'm very cynical obviously. But it goes straight in the recycling...ds' school is C of E and already he comes home talking with terror about crucifixion and singing hymns he doesn't understand. I loathe it.

Religion is for adults imo. But go and see if it's any good, because it might seem rude to pull out now. Good luck!

I wouldn't go but I am another one with bad church experiences so it does make sense to at least try once. If it is evangelical then it doesn't matter what they say they are doing, they still want to convert you. I hope it is ok for you though and you make some good friends.

actually yes I hadn't thought of that - doesn't evangelical mean exactly that they want to convert you?

Sorry if I'm wrong. But sneaky tactics are sadly all too common imo with this kind of thing. I got sucked into a kind of weird conversion-by-stealth scenario by some woman in the high street once, when I was about 14. I ended up going to their house (under some duress) for a 'prayer session' and it was very weird and unsettling - hard to get out of as well.

No idea who they were or what their plan was. But thank fuck I got out of there.

(sorry for thread diversion!)

Give it a go, lots of toddler groups take place in church buildings without actually being affiliated to the church at all. Churches just often offer cheeper renting prices than anywhere else for the people who run a group.

Now if when you have tried it it really is too religious for your taste just don't go back.

I am Muslim (look muslim too) and run a Toddler group which is not a Muslim toddler group IYSWIM?