do you play with your kids?

[papooshka]

I am a SAHM and have to admit that I rarely play with the kids and feel guilty about it but I find it sooo boring

I have a 3 and a 1 year old and I do read books, and we sing songs and we bake cakes but thats about it, I take them out loads of places and they see lots of friends but when we are at home I busy myself with housework and going on the internet. They do play on their own or follow me round and watch telly..

Pls reassure me that this is normal!

Perfctly normal IMO. I only have one, but you've just described her day before she started at full time school. IMO, it's hard to play with children of that age, adults have different imaginations to children and if you get it wrong they tend to lose patience with you.
Don't be too critical of yourself, there's always someone else around to do that for you.

Definately normal.

Kids can play on their own, they don't need an adult getting down and actually 'playing' too, as long as you are there to occasionally guide them, provide them with rich stimulating environemnts, and keep their imagination alive through books, you're doing fine.

Really?

I bet you do play with them far more than you think,my dc vary in age from 9-14-16 and I still play with them,I build lego models with the youngest and do choose your own adventure,go bike riding and walking with ds2 and frequently get thrashed thrash them on the x box.

Even when they were very small I played.

I have a 4yo and a 2yo and I take them out a lot so we dont play much at all at home either.
We always go out for the mornings, then have lunch then DS1 has pre school and DS2 sleeps in the afternoon and thats the day nearly gone!
They usually watch tv while I do dinner as they are worn out by then.

I don't play with my children. I'm no good at it and I don't like it. I do loads of activities with them, but when it comes to playing, it's up to them! They get plenty of time to play with an adult when Daddy's home or Grandma comes over.

I have a 6yo, a 5yo, a 3yo and a 1yo.

Most defianely normal, my son (starts primary in september) is left to play on his own, we go out to friends, the park, walk the dog, play with guinea pigs together but in the house he plays on his own most of the time whilst i do housework, internet,ect. I do have the occassional "tea party with him or play with his train track but only for 15 minutes or so as his idea of playing with me or his dad consists of us sitting on the floor watching him!
I have a one hour thing in the morning that is please eat your breakfast and play in the front room or your play room - I am not very good at waking up and it takes me a while although i would never allow him up on his own (must be getting old lol) this works brilliantly (he gets up at 6am and has done for the last 18months)
We have lovely cuddles in the evening and always a bedtime story!

I play with mine, but shes capable of playing on her own too. Housework bores me so I suppose I see it as an excuse not to do any, and after a day at work, its really relaxing to sit on the floor and play with her because she laughs so much, and we get to have family time before she goes to bed.. The TV she normallly turns off herself as it is boring. she is 10 months old.

Read somewhere once that to keep a child happy and stimulated you only need to spend 10 minutes out of every hour actively "playing" with them ie. set them up with something, get them going and retire happily to mumsnet ; I remember being at home with a solitary pre-schooler is wearing, thats why we had more.

Meant to add a "that" between remember and being.

Glad you started this post because I often feel guilty that I don't spend enough time playing with my kids. Am glad to see that I am quite normal.

before my DS1 and DS2 started school and nursery last august we would spend the morning emptying the contents of the toy boxes all over the living room and enjoying the mess but after lunch they played together in their bedroom and i got on with some work or just watched neighbours.

DS1 is now at school time 3pm so by the time we get home and get homework and dinner out of the way all he wants is to get out to play with his friends for an hour before bathtime at 7pm. DS2 is out of nursery at 11:30am and then tags along wherever i need to go which for him is a big adventure....

Glad I am normal too. It's one of the many things I feel guilty about! I do the baking, go to the park, see friends etc, but playing....I'm not so good.
My Mum (who is a health visitor) advised me not to play too much when dd was young (I have 2 dd's now) as this would make her reliant on me to play. Both my dd's play really well on their own (and with others) and I'm glad, especially when I see friends whose kids can't play without them!
Bee

This thread has made me feel loads better. I find playing with toddlers and preschoolers so so boring. I'd rather change nappies than play.
My 3 year old now goes to preschool so I have less guilt as I know she gets to do fun, messy stuff and all that kind of thing there.
I have an 18 month old too who seems happy enough playing on her own.
I do try and play with them but I get irritated, distracted and grumpy after 5 minutes.
It is one of the main things I feel I am particularly crap at as a mother.
We rely far too much on CBeebies here.

I can play certain games like board games, drawing, computer games, some craft stuff, lego but I cannot stand playing with dolls, babies, doctors games, dressing up or similar, my mind dies a little each time.

When DD was little I would bear a small amount of those games but would much much rather read books with her, watch a movie, go for a walk, to the park, in the garden, baking, anything but bloody barbies!

I'm sooo glad I'm not alone here! Actually today I have been trying to make a bit more of an effort so I played with a shape sorter thing with the baby and then let my 3 yr old 'do' my hair, combing it and putting clips in it which was actually lovely for me - quite relaxing!

nice to know I'm not the only one who struggles. It's got very difficult to play with DD since boob addict DS arrived in August.

I love playing with her though, I find imaginative stuff difficult so I stick more to puzzles etc. Seeing her face light up when she learns something new is magic!

I think it can be an investment IYSWIM, if I take the effort time to play properly she's much better behaved.

I've never been around toddlers, I'm sure it'll be easier when she's older - I met my DSDs when they were 4 and played pirates, schools etc all day! I remember running round the park yelling "come back you scurvy dogs!"

I love watching her imaginative stuff - for five minutes! I have been feeling guilty about this lately so glad not only one.

She is at playgroup/childminders for 3.5 days a week so I only have 1.5 days by myself with her, I usually do houseworky things in the am, so she does play by herself then but I will succumb to playing with her afterwards. But would much rather go for a walk, bike ride, do a puzzle, colouring, crafty things. I find the letting her be in charge awful, and do it grumpily usually trying to sneak a read of the paper at the same time!

As little as possible

it depends what you count as playing I guess - I do things like playdough, painting, colouring, jigsaws etc with DD (nearly 2) ... if left to her own devices she will last 5 minutes before the shouts of 'mummy help', 'mummy draw a blue dog', etc etc. Things like playing with her dolls/toy cars etc I leave her to it and she's quite happy.

Being 30 weeks pregnant and a hippo, lately our playtime involves me sitting on the floor with her while sneakily watching daytime tv, while she 'cooks' and occasionally brings me cups of tea etc!

I dont Play with my DD as much as I should, she is off to nursery most of the time and we go out a lot, mainly shopping or to the Park, but I was actually thinking about it a couple of weeks ago, and I do help her with her painting and sticking and making stuff, and also play pretend games with the Dollys, you know like shops and cafes.
I think the problem is that we all think we should be playing with our children all the time, but it is just not a viable concept, besides my DD starts throwing those horrible 3 year old tantrums if I as much put a toy down in the wrong place!!! and then I think she preety much wants me to leave her to it.

My ES is just 5 and loves board games.. He has one I loathe and I made his day this week when I agreed to a game ( and I kinda enjoyed it).

I play with my ES quite alot but it's never enough for him.... Thank goodness for Scooby Doo on TV.

I play with ds (5.5 yrs) quite a lot as does dh. Most days I would spend 30min at least playing something with him. Often they are rough and tumble and chase type games but we do more quiet stuff too and loads of imaginative games (I don't like those much at all!)

I'm not too keen on the playing really and iot is often quite an effort but since reading this I have tried to change my attitude to it as I've noticed ds's mood and behaviour improve tremendously if I actively play with him reguarly.

Then again he is an only child and one who really doesn't like playing on his own much. He does it a bit but an hour or so a day is his absolute limit most of the time. Other than that is is generally with me or dh either doing stuff or playing with us or bugging us or occasionally watching TV (this he will do alone sometimes)

sorry meant to link to this

Playful Parenting

I read it about teo years ago and it is the ONLYwww.amazon.co.uk/Playful-Parenting-Lawrence-J-Cohen/dp/0345442865/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=bo oks&qid=1269444973&sr=8-1arenting book that didn't make me feel guilty but really made me feel ligher after reading it.

I really notice that my relationship with ds improves no end if we play a lot, it is how ds communicates with me. I obviously (being an adult) prefer talking but ds prefers playing so if I want to connect with him, I play with him. As long as I do it without being too resentful of the time it takes it pretty much always works within a few days.

I don't, and I do feel guilty about it, it's just so tedious though! I prefer to Do Stuff with her, like puzzles, or go out for walks or see friends.

I do feel bad, though at the moment my excuse is I feel so crappy as I am pregnant. Fortunately DD is fairly independent in her play, always has been, but lately has been asking us to 'be' people - "you be Dora mummy, I'm Diego" snore! Fortunately 'being' Diego mostly involves say 'Hola, I'm Diego', but it is very dull. I know she really appreciates it when we do play with her. We do rough and tumble and tickling and stuff, so I don't completely neglect her.