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I dont like how my friend treats her children...

4 replies

Luxmum · 22/03/2010 08:15

That's it really. She is just soo harsh/over the top in everything she does. She slaps them on the face if they misbehave. If they dont poo every single day (4 years old, so accidents obv. can and do happen) she then bans all TV. Her family met mine in the park yesterday. Her boys are the same age as mine 2 and 4. Both are rough children, the youngest esp. thinks nothing of smacking and punching other chilren. She overlooks this to punish the older, calmer one for doing smaller misbehaviors. Anyhow, she then told me that she was thinking of locking the older one in the guest room with no toys all day, as punishment for waking her at 5am twice in a row. She was shattered, and he was tired and whiney. I tried to question the proportionality of the punishment with the'crime' as gently as I could. She wasnt listening. It is really begining to bother me how she treats them. Smacking isnt illegal here (not in UK) and she has clear parental issues with her own mother who rejected her, but still,how do I react when I hear this? It's the hardest part, i think, of being a parent. And I nor my kids are in no way perfect either.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
nickschick · 22/03/2010 08:20

I had a 'friend' like this once ,I distanced myself and my dc and did actually speak to the headteacher who confided she already knew and the relevant agencies were already involved.

belgo · 22/03/2010 08:20

Difficult one. Do you have an equivalent of a health visiting service there? When I was having problems with one of my children I spoke to the Belgium health visiting service and I was referred to a nurse specialist in behavioural issues. She helped me a lot.

I do think you should say something to your friend, and gently tell her that there is help and advice available for her. It's difficult to do and you risk offending her but that's a risk you have to take. I couldn't stay friends with someone who slaps their child's face.

Luxmum · 22/03/2010 11:08

I have told her on numerous occasions that her punishments were too harsh, in as tactful a way I can, but she is happy in doing this, and doesnt see her behavior is shaping how her kids grow - the eldest has clear attachment issues, and the more spoilt younger one is frankly, dangerous, and I dont like my children being near him. BUT she is a close neighbour, her kids go to my kids school, so it would be hard to ignore her. I think maybe she just reacts and doesnt treat the kids LIKE kids, ie expects a 4 YO to stay in bed. I'll see if I can talk to her again. Thanks

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Finishing · 22/03/2010 22:21

I'm afraid if this was my friend I would have to write her a very serious letter, and then never see her in the company of my children.

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