How do you move on when things go badly with DCs?

[Othersideofthechannel]

Small incident with DS tonight, not worth going into, no big deal in the long run, but I handled it badly. I know what I should have done to handle it better.

Once I'd apologised to DS and DS asleep, I felt like talking about it just to get it off my chest, but DH not in the mood for talking about the minutae of parenting (wanting to make the most the time with children asleep) and I don't feel I have anyone I can phone to talk to about it.

Ended up getting miserable with myself because I couldn't shake off my guilt for not handling the situation in the best way.

And now I have woken up in the middle of the night and can't back to sleep. Not because of the incident, but because I am sometimes so useless at moving on.

Anyone else get like that? How you shake it out of your mind?

I go for a run. Otherwise, it festers and then I have a psychotic episode. Seriously though, I have the same issue about not being able to move on until I've talked it out. Perhaps writing about it here will help. You have sympathetic ears here.

Thanks. I will bear in mind exercising next time.

The parenting problem really was such a tiny thing, it isn't worth the space on MNs servers! But the fact that I couldn't shake it off is concerning me. It's not the first time that I have got miserable about not being able put a trivial incident behind me.

Would you be able to access Parentline Plus from where you are? I had 6 weeks of telephone counselling last year, and it really helped. Have you got a friend you could talk it over with?

I tend to brood when there's been an incident with one of the DC. It helps me to talk to other parents, as it always seems to help knowing other people are dealing with the same stuff.

Any other ideas?

You realise that sometimes things like this happen and you try to access help and some different coping strategies next time and most of all in the morning give your child a huge hug and let yourself both be able to start over.

Tell him/her that you are still sorry and you knew it was wrong and you will try your hardest not tolet it happen again but you love him/her and that won;t ever change.

Oh we hugged and made up before bed time!

But despite that, it got to me for hours afterwards.

Jemima, it is always helpful to know I'm not the only one who sometimes can't just shrug these little hiccups off as an inevitable part of parenting (no one gets it right all the time!). I'm glad your counselling helps.

There are friends I could phone but I would feel silly phoning somebody up to let off steam about something so trivial. I don't want to use up all their patience before DCs hit their teens

This is why I think I need to find away to snap out of it.

I need to find away to snap out of it by myself.

I (sometimes) manage to snap out of it by convincing myself that the lack of sleep caused by fretting is going to make me grumpy tomorrow and therefore risks me dealing with something badly again. So I need to forget about it in order to make it up to ds1/2.

Have you got strikes tomorrow btw?

Yes, I tell myself that but it just gets me more stressed! I suppose the good thing with exercise is that it makes you relaxed in the long run so I will try chefswife's technique next time.

No strikes afaik

valerian tea?

I'm jealous about the strikes.

Im so like that.

I had a few meltdowns infront of DS when having problems with my new baby DD.

I lost sleep and basically thought about it constantly. Beat myself up like you wouldn't believe.

I also went mad at him for a scribbling on the fireplace incident when I was heavily PG and had no patience and I still wince when I remember his little face.

WMDO away to mull over the fireplace incident AGAIN