neighbour's child is HORRIBLE... advice pls

[katiemamam]

My DS is 3 and is really friendly and outgoing. In our park there are two little girls, one nearly a year older and another who is just about 5 months older than him.

The oldest little girl is lovely. She'd come to play with DS a lot, and vice versa. We take her to playgroup with us, her parents return the favour.

However, the other little girl is cheeky, rude and today she told DS that she hated him and that he couldn't play with the two girls because they didn't want him.

He, naturally, cried. I was livid. If this was a one-off I'd just think I was over-reacting, but it happens regularly.

Should I talk to her mum or should I just tell DS that he has other friends and to ignore her?

Say to the little girl 'that's not very nice, saying that will make DS sad'. Then take them both off together to play a game with them. That has the result of both teaching the little girl to play nicely but also teaching your DS how to react to rude/unpleasant (but child-like) behaviour positively.

She's a three-and-a-half year old girl, she needs to learn and ignoring her or teaching your DS to ignore her is wrong.

I agree with wonderingwondering. She is a very little girl who needs to learn.

My DD is 4, and there seems to be a lot of "I don't like you today, because I'm playing with X" going on with her friends who are girls. It definitely seems to be a girl thing.

Becoming livid over something a 3 yo had said is a bit of an over reaction, IMHO.

I dont think you should be livid - she is 3.

she just needs to learn how to behave. Kids have said this to ds before I always say thats not nice, and then encourage them to play. Tbh though life isnt always nice and you cant always protect your kids from everything - I dont mean that to be harsh its just the way of teh world.

In situations where kids really wouldnt be encouraged to play then I would just distract ds and say it doesnt matter we'll ahave a lovely time on our own

You do need to remember this girl is only 3 though. My friend has a wee boy who erm, isnt the nicest at times and hits etc but its because of poor parenting imo and not his fault. He is 3 too.

Ignore typos sorry

prob should have mentionned that am pregnant (and feeling v protective about ds after hearing about all the abuse stuff in northern ireland...).

rationally speaking, am not livid, but just feel so sorry for ds.

like the idea of encouraging her to play a game, however,knowing this little girl it might be hard enough to achieve!!

It is a natural instinct to be protective, but part of bringing up you children is to teach them how to react to that sort of thing. But I do understand the instinctive 'grrr' when your son is crying!

My son had one friend like that so I watched him like a hawk and intervened if the nastiness started, which made them playing together quite hard work, but I think my DS learned quite a lot from it.

. i know. i feel like i want to beat the child with sticks, and i'm a pacifist really!!
guess i have to remember she is the child and i am the adult. it's hateful being grown up! thanks ....