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How do YOU teach stranger danger? Cause iv made a balls of it....

4 replies

Poohbearsmom · 19/03/2010 13:38

Ds1 (3.6yo) actually growled at a nurse who came to our home today she was invited in like and he knew she would be coming, his lil bro smiled he growled!!! He was cheeky da other day to another lady, dare anyone speak to him he usually puts his head down and frowns at them... He thinks ANYONE he doesnt know/isnt family is bad, i wanted him to know stranger danger but iv made a hames of it havnt i, he is rude to ppl... HELP! How did/do YOU teach stranger danger???

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piprabbit · 19/03/2010 16:25

Sorry to hear your DS is struggling with strangers. I'm sure you've done your best to give him the information he needs. I'd maybe have a chat and let him know that if he meets a stranger but you or his daddy are with him, he doesn't have to worry - you will look after him, it might help reduce his worries.

I didn't start off talking about strangers - we talked about what to do if DD was seperated from me in a shop etc. She was to stay still, I would come and look for her. She should tell someone she had lost her mummy, but look for a policeman, someone in the shop's uniform or another mummy with children.

She took this on board at about 3yo (actually had to put it into practise once and she handled it just as we'd discussed).

About a year later she wanted to know more about the sorts of people to talk to. I mentioned that most people are kind and helpful but that some people want to hurt children. I said that it is hard to spot the ones that want to hurt children, especially because there aren't very many so you will probably never meet one. DD seemed to accept this. We also talked about shouting out loud and saying, 'this is not my mummy, I don't know you, leave me alone' in a really big voice.

At bath times we have talked about her body being special and that no one has a right to touch her body if it makes her feel unhappy or uncomfortable. That if anyone does touch her, she should tell me and we will sort it out together as there is nothing we can't fix as a team.

DD is now 6yo, and I'll only add more detail if she asks, or if she is in more risky situations as she becomes more independent. I've tried to give her this info in little bitesize chunks and to leave it for a while if she seems uninterested or worried.

Poohbearsmom · 20/03/2010 22:58

Pip thank u so much for ur excellent advice i really need to do exactly as uv said really. its my fault i told him too much or made it seem like all ppl r out to nab or hurt u its my very worst fear as im sure it is every parents & he did wander off on his daddy n da supermarket when he was only 2 but da security guard picked him up as he wondered towards the doors (holdin a lil pink skirt) my dh was havin a panic attack at da till he told da manager & clerk & a mum wit older kids heard him & startd looking along wit her dc's, thank god nothing bad happened but so very many things could hav & our world could hav ended that day. it made me so frightened i hav inadvertantly (sp?) frightened him i will really try very hard to explain better & try to build his confidence. Thank u so much for replying xxx

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piprabbit · 20/03/2010 23:18

Sounds as though you both need a bit of a confidence boost . Hope things settle down as he gets a little older and it becomes easier to explain.

Must admit my heart stopped when I lost my DD in a shop at age 3.5. Then I saw her leading a member of staff towards me and saying that's my mummy. It was probably only a minute - but it felt so much longer.

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Poohbearsmom · 21/03/2010 13:27

Thanks same with my dh he says he has on idea of the time prob only a few min but it felt a life time, he thinks something may hav actually popped n his head durim dem few min! he was so shuck i cudnt even go off on one... Iv talked wit ds this morn hopefully it will help...

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