Anyone else not do loeads of Mummy activities with their toddler, feel like I'm being a crap Mum

[minxofmancunia]

Dd is 3.5, I also have ds 6 months. From the age of 18 months I've tried to be what i would call a "proper Mummy" and do baking and stuff but the truth be told I'm a bit crap at it.

i read on here about all these suoer mums who do loads with their pre schoolers and I just feel guilty. I keep telling myself I'm encouraging her imagination and creativity by getting her to make up her own play but in truth maybe I'm just being a bit negelectful.

I'm quite creative and I do get the paints/glitter/egg boxes out sometimes, did some digging and planting with her on tuesday and that felt like a MASSIVE achievement for me. I can count the number of times I've baked with her on 1 hand, although I've promised to make "snapple and pop" cakes with her over the weekend.

We go to the park a fair bit, and to the local childrens bookshop, do some reading at home. I enjoy the reading and colouring but tbh I find a lot of parenting stuff deadly dull and can't wait to escape, esp if it's just me and dd, say at the park and there's no adult to talk to.

Thanks God she's at nursery 3 days a week where she actually gets some decent stimulation.

Is anyone else like this? she's v good at her imaginary games now so I pretty much leave her to it if she's happy. Does this make me a bad Mother?

gosh, I'm the same. I've no imagination whatsoever when it comes to what to do with the kids. I hate getting out the messy stuff and am no good at arts and crafts. i find it all so boring. i prefer to take them out somewhere and let them get the other stimulation from school. i think they get enough. sounds like you're doing ok though, why do we need to bake with the kids all the time? i dont remember my mother doing so much stuff with me, she just let me get on with it and i've always enjoyed my own company and got a chance to develop my own imagination.

I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old. I don't do much with mine to be honest. I play with them a lot but it is just with their toys - not fantastic craft things. I don't take them to groups either.

The 4 year old goes to playschool most mornings which he loves, and they do so much with him there I think it is fine for him to have more of a rest at home.

I think there is nothing wrong with not filling their days with wonderful magical things, my 4 year old is really happy at home just messing around, not like so many of his friends who want to be out or doing things all the time!

So I wouldn't feel bad about the way you are. I occasionally think I should be doing more things, but then I look at my 4 year old and he knows letters and numbers and can do all sorts of things without me really trying, and more importantly is really happy, so then I relax a bit more.

Sometimes I feel that I do too much with my DS 2.5 years. I work three days a week and the days I'm with him I like to be out and about as I don't really like being stuck at home. Then when we are stuck inside for a day maybe due to weather or illness I find that he loves playing with his toys and just being left to sort himself out without a tight schedule.
We try crafts but he has quite a short attention span but we make cakes alot mainly cos he likes to eat the cake mixture!!

it sounds fine to me..
you do do things with her, you just told us some. i dont think anyone does those things all day every day do they??
variety is better for them, some mummy activities and some of their own play, some trips out like park, library etc
if you went to the other extent of doing structured activities the whole time i dont think thats good for them either. you seem to have a balance, it doesn't sound like a problem to me at all...
i am the same with my ds, i do painting etc but not all the time

I feel the same minx
Find 'doing things' with DS a struggle and not very enjoyable
Playdoh / playing cars / drawing takes 10 mins, so then what??

A bit "crap"? Sounds like me then!! I used to work three days a week and on the days I didn't work I liked to be out and about with DD at playgroup and toddler groups, toddlers' swimming etc. I could never be bothered with scissors, glue, or cake baking (more mess to clear up) and they laid on that sort of activity at play group and at the childminders. I thought it was more important for DD (and my sanity) to spend time outside the house and getting her socialised with different groups of kids and adults, than replicating things that she did elsewhere just to tick a mummy box.

My daughter's 18 now and has never, as far as I can see, felt deprived because her mum didn't bake fairy cakes at home too or was a wizz with scissors and glue. I must say that I am amazed at how much more pressure seems to be on mums now than in "my day" and it was bad enough then!

As you were ladies, everyone's doing fine!!

Activities: Laundry/Grocery shopping/Going to Post Office (lots of family so lots to post!)/Cooking Supper, etc, et..

Yes, we do do groups and stuff too, but TBH cos I have loads of Mummy friends and we do groups WITH them and the Mum and I have a natter and a coffee and very strongly encourage the DCs to go play!

And I think I'm a GREAT mum, btw - all this is encouraging imagination/creative play/independent thought, isn't it?!

(Also 35 weeks pregnant and seriously, seriously can't be arsed....)

God, no, minx, you sound fab! You do a bit of arty stuff, outings, reading, nursery and a bit of general pottering.
DS is 3.8 and I am pg atm. He goes to pre schoold 2.5 hrs and the rest of the time he potters, plays and we get out anf about to the park, the odd swimming trip and visiting friends. We do baking once a week, mainly cos I like it! It is good to encourage them to play by themselves at that age. They have great little imaginations and it is lovely to see.

I bought glue, scissors, sparkly card, glitter pens and some shiny shit in a bag today.

Came home, showed DS, 2.10 yrs my purchases, he had never seen such things .

I opened the glitter pens and they were very messy so I hid them away again.

Meanwhile DS grabbed the scissors and promptly disappeared to my DH's office to cut up printer paper.

Ah well, I tried. Looks very dull TBH and it didn't entertain me one iota.

Note to self...buy more DVD's...

I dont do many crafty things or cooking with DS and DD. We go out to toddler groups, music groups, park, zoo. I'm afraid i'm one of those who go stir crazy if i get stuck indoors all day.

I think you sound brill a good mix. Your DD and DS will be much more able to occupy themselves and like eveyone says imaginative play is very important too.

(I get sooo bored at the park, still go but we never stay for long.)