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Original poster

This is why I refuse to have my children weighed at school

136 replies

coldtits · 18/03/2010 19:54

www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/7464888/Boy-of-five-labelled-obese-and-given-heart-disease-war ning.html

OP posts:
belgo · 19/03/2010 14:56

Isn't there a free swimming initiative for under12s? lynxooo- out of interest how much does it cost you to take your ds swimming twice a week?

It shouldn't just be sport that keeps children fit. It should be activities that are part of your lifestyle - walking to school, playing football with friends at the park etc. but these things just don't happen now for the majority of children.

ZZZenAgain · 19/03/2010 15:00

woman I knew from dd's kindergarten in Germany told me when our dd's were in year 2 (diff schools) that she had been told her dd was overweight. I don't recall our school doing any weighing at all.

Anyhow, her dd was then put on a free scheme. The mother called it: sport for fat kids but I'm sure that wasn't the official name of it. Intensive sport for chubby kids 2 x week and free. I think that's ok. It was not compulsory but after identifying the problem , the state was also providing a free scheme to help sort it out. This did involve teaching healthy eating too. This was a responsible parent but her dd was always a bit on the chubby side and I think they liked a lot of tasty food in that household, not junk but definitely desserts, cakes, etc in additional to regular meals.

TulipsInTheRain · 19/03/2010 15:12

He's the same height as dd and a good 7/8 kgs heavier, she's bang on average.

That being said ds1 is a very dense child... he's healthy, not a scrap of fat on him but feels like he's made out of lead... dd on the other hand has always been feather light feeling... and clearly she doesn't have great bone density as she broke her leg very easily last year by simply jumping off a low wall onto grass

I don't believe in BMI at all and stuff like this just reinforces that opinion

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omnishambles · 19/03/2010 15:17

They just can't win can they - weighing is wrong/ignoring the problem is wrong - what are schools supposed to do?

And yes it would be great if they had more access to exercise in school but would parents actually vote for that over literacy etc.

Some parents need to bleat less about schools and get themselves and their children out of their cars more.

We all need to take responsibility - if either of my dcs came home from school with a letter saying they were under/overweight I would give it serious consideration rather than blindly thinking that I knew best.

belgo · 19/03/2010 15:21

In the letter the mother received about her son's weight it only suggests that he is overweight. It is not accusing him of being obese, the papers are sensationalising the story.

The letter also mentions activities provided by the council that the child can take part in to help achieve a healthy weight. Very good letter imo.

TheCatAteMyGymsuit · 19/03/2010 15:24

He was hardly 'branded obsese'; in fact the letter suggested he was overweight. Which he is - not wildly so, but definitely on the chubby side.
I wonder what possessed the mother to go to the Daily Mail?

MrsGokWantsatidyhouse · 19/03/2010 15:32

MONEY!!!

lynnexxxo · 19/03/2010 15:33

Belgo,

I have two sons so to get us all into swimming costs £5.50. Swimming is free during the school holidays between 9-4.

We have also been offered a place of a fit for fun program, which according to the blurb promotes healthy eating and the kids have 'fun activities'which is free. I will hopefully be able to take him to that too but it depends on times and whether I can take my other kids.

belgo · 19/03/2010 15:39

Sounds like you are taking responsibility Lynxxx. 5.50 doesn't sound too bad for swimming for three of you, it's good that it's free during the school holidays but they should be more flexible with the times.

lynnexxxo · 19/03/2010 15:46

I know that my ds is , well a little chubby. But getting a letter has given me a bit of a boot up the backside to sort it.

Its difficult as he doesn't have a poor diet, he just likes his mashed potato/pasta etc a bit too much. He does gymnastics and we go swimming once a week already, and once the weather get better he goes out to play.

I would like him to get involved in more sports but my three year old already breaks his heart that his brother gets to go to all these things while he doesn't.

LillianGish · 19/03/2010 15:49

He doesn't look obese, but maybe he is slightly overweight. Isn't it better to alert parents to something which might become a problem rather than wait until their kids are morbidly obese for fear of causing offence. You only have to look around any playground to see that kids are getting fatter - when I was at school (in the 1970s) there was one fat kid in the school (I could tell you her name, but won't in case she's a MNetter!) now there's usually one in every class (at least). It is a problem and it's going to be more of a problem in the future. My kids were born and spent their early years in Paris where paediatricians, the health service and actually just about anyone you might come into contact with wouldn't hesitate to tell you if your kids were getting a bit porky. Very often it is the parents who are the last to see it - hence the heavy boned, tall for their age excuses which are wheeled out. The point is it's not about social niceties it's about the fact that being obese is bad for your health and a massive drain on the NHS. Better to nip in the bud when you've only got a few pounds to lose than wait until you are a lost cause.

EmilyStrange · 19/03/2010 15:53

It is all horrendous. The focus placed on weight and the attention given in front of kids and to kids is going to produce generations of eating disorders. I do everything I can to sheild my kids from weight discussions, I don't want them worrying about this stuff as it is having an obsession about weight that produces weight problems. In a newspaper you will see an article on one page discussing obseity in children and on the next page an article about the rise of anorexia and blame that soley on the fashion and celebrity world. Hello wake up!! They are all culpable and the government the most.

I think it is abhorrent and I absolutely opted out. If the schools really think this is their business perhaps they should give the kids more physical time and/or take their educational beaks out of issues that are not their concern.

The national obsession with wieght is far more dangerous that the weight itself.

sarah293 · 19/03/2010 16:00

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Message withdrawn

lynnexxxo · 19/03/2010 16:01

Emilystrange,

The thing is there is absolutely no need for the child to know they have been labelled obese. This woman has decided for some reason to parade her son for all to judge!

Personally receiving a letter has made me face the issue rather than just carry on ignoring it. However I will never tell my son he is fat or is now on a diet. We don't have many treats in the house anyway (i'm on a diet) but now we will have even less (and I have told his gran too) and make a real point to do more exercise.

DebiNewberry · 19/03/2010 16:01

He is chubby, he may be about to have a growth spurt, he may get chubbier. His mother in the dm picture looks heavy too. I think sometimes the family are the last to see it - I have had to have things pointed out to me about my dc in the past. I would take notice if a letter came saying that one of my dc was at the top of the curve.

LillianGish · 19/03/2010 16:03

He doesn't look obese, but maybe he is slightly overweight. Isn't it better to alert parents to something which might become a problem rather than wait until their kids are morbidly obese for fear of causing offence. You only have to look around any playground to see that kids are getting fatter - when I was at school (in the 1970s) there was one fat kid in the school (I could tell you her name, but won't in case she's a MNetter!) now there's usually one in every class (at least). It is a problem and it's going to be more of a problem in the future. My kids were born and spent their early years in Paris where paediatricians, the health service and actually just about anyone you might come into contact with wouldn't hesitate to tell you if your kids were getting a bit porky. Very often it is the parents who are the last to see it - hence the heavy boned, tall for their age excuses which are wheeled out. The point is it's not about social niceties it's about the fact that being obese is bad for your health and a massive drain on the NHS. Better to nip in the bud when you've only got a few pounds to lose than wait until you are a lost cause.

sarah293 · 19/03/2010 16:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

haroldandmaude · 19/03/2010 16:07

Agree completely with Riven. And admire lynnexxxo's sensible approach to it with her DS.

LillianGish · 19/03/2010 16:12

Will parents be withdrawing their children from school eye tests or dental checks (do they even exist anymore?) for the same reasons?

thedollshouse · 19/03/2010 16:16

I have no idea whether eye tests or dental checks still exist at school, I don't remember receiving a letter about it. I probably would be inclined to opt out as ds has 6 monthly apppointments at the dentist and optician. The eyetests at the optician are more detailed than I imagine they would be at school.

ppeatfruit · 19/03/2010 16:25

hang on there do parents really think that not having an afternoon break is acceptable?

We all had breaks in the afternoon it certainly did not make us illiterate; that is nonsense. We all NEED breaks mentally and physically.

of course children and parents should not be sitting in cars and in front of technology all the time . Schools attitude to physical education should counter that not reinforce it.

belgo · 19/03/2010 16:28

ppeatfruit- I don't know - what time does school finish in the afternoons? Is it earlier then it used to be? We used to finish at 4;15 pm.

omnishambles · 19/03/2010 16:36

My ds finishes at 3.15 - well 4pm with after school clubs and has a break in the morning and at lunch and 2 PE lessons a week.

Even with that though it wouldnt counter a family culture of nonactivity - our children need to see us out there walking and enjoying exercise just as they need to see us behaving in lots of other 'right' ways.

BalloonSlayer · 19/03/2010 16:37

"Its getting ridiculous what they are telling children at such a young age - it is damaging to them. I don't want my children to grow up to be anorexic. "

Um, well, Madam, I'd suggest in that case you don't tell him what the letter said and don't get the papers in to take his photo: "That's right, sonny. Look nice and sad because of what the nasty people said about you!"

FWIW, my 4'8", nearly ten year old, DS1 weighs 4st 10, just over half a stone more than that boy.

growingtomatoes · 19/03/2010 16:39

The mother in the article is clearly stupid!

The kid is overweight- just because she thinks he's ok- doesn't mean he is!

Splashing his picture all over the papers will give him a complex, and why would he even know about the letter if she didn't tell him?