Social services

[Kimmyangel]

Hi I was wondering if anyone can help?? I left my job last year in June as it was really stressful and making me severely depressed ( suffered from depression since 17) and I turned to drink, I got help with drinking sorted that. Saw my hv in oct cos my Sis contacted her as she was worried had a chat all seemed ok. Saw my dr in December as was severely depressed suicidal in fact due to the fact I suffer insomnia and mainly my massive weight gain( 8 stone in a year and a half disgusting I know) she gave me ad all ok. Yesterday got a phone call from social services saying they had an anonymous call that I might be suffering from depression and do I need help. ( have a little boy whose 4) they asked who I talk to I said hv and dr, and what preschool
my littleboy went to so they could see if the school had any concerns? Who called them?? Was it dr or hv?? It caused a massive row with my ex cos I blamed him as we do not get on please help and was it really anonymous??

It may or may not have been anonymous. Either way SS won't tell you and there is no point in you going around and accusing anyone. It won't help anyone.

The fact is someone was concerned enough to phone them. Now you must deal with that.

Do you have any idea why someone would phone? Is your house untidy? Does DS miss a lot of pre-school? Have you told anyone you struggle to cope with him? bEing depressed isn't reason enough, SS do not have enough man power to visit every parent who struggles with depression.

SS want to help you. Let them. They aren't there to make your life harder, even though it might seem like it when you are involved with them.

someone being malicious? because why did she ask which pre school? would think hv would know and have passed that on too

They have to ask for permission to speak to the pre school. That's what they will have been getting at.

I don't struggle with him he's testing at times. I have only ever said I feel depressed about my weight cos it's really knocked my confidence that's why I spoke to doctor and health visitor. His teacher spoke to me today and said she told them she had no concerns and that a doctor or health visitor doesn't need permission from social services to speak to them. Which makes me thinks someone is being malicious. I am depressed as I have said before but my sons fine. I'm angry that someone wouldn't speak to me first if they thought there was a problem at the end of the day if I struggled to look after him then I would ask for help as I always do.

It just upsets me that someone thinks I'm a bad parent. I mean he has been naughty over the past few weeks but he just gets put in the corner and I don't try and hide that I'm telling him off at home or anything. It's driving me nuts that I've done all the right things when I struggle and someone would do that. Maybe it was a neighbour...

If it was the dr or hv they would have had to tell you they were making a referral - otherwise they are breaking their professional duties.
Usually anonymous referrals come from neighbours or family members.

Thats not the main issue, and its not about being a bad parent. Its about struggling at times, and finding it difficult.
SS should be able to offer you help if you need it.

Thanks for all your replys. Just a last question would a neighbour tell them I might be suffering from depression ? I know it's sounds like I'm trying to find out who it is because I have a big problem with my ex and he is nasty. He's the type of person who is working cash in hand, claiming benefit for housing jobseekers etc, plus has a lodger and isn't paying maintenance I told him I was going to a few days ago this is why I am suspicious cos even my sons teacher seemed surprised that someone had phoned.

Going to csa that is, doesn't seemed to have come out in message

Do not trust SS, they are not your friends, find out the law and force them to act within it, get a free appointment with a solicitor, talk to friends and family, use ex partner as support and help, not the enemy. Look at this link, its happening all over the country. Please all sign and be VERY aware;

www.ipetitions.com/petition/ukssleaveourkidsalone/

Old thread; besides your petition is hardly relevant to the OP who was not in the position of being investigated because of home education.

Speaking for myself, SS have provided invaluable support when I have wanted it, and backed out discreetly when I have not wanted them. The only reason my dd is getting the hospital referral she needs is because SS are putting pressure on the clinic. So there are definitely people around who have good reason to see them as friends.

Obviously it is bothering and worrying you who contacted SS.
I think you may never now, cos SS wont say, where the referral came from.
Do you think it could have been your sister, since you say, she contacted your HV in October?
Something from your post made me a little uncomfortable-"he just gets put in the corner". How long does he have to stay there? Do you think you are shouting more than normal? Im not saying you are doing anything wrong, but perhaps your dsis or another family member feel you are not coping well at the moment and could do with some help.
Dont worry-the school have no concerns, your hv and gp are aware of your "issues", so you have nothing to hide. SS just nave a duty t make sure all is well especially for your ds.

Regardless of how they got involved, you need to be very careful now.
Don't go thinking if you mouth off to them about how you feel suicidal they'll give you extra support, their priority is your child being safe, they don't care about you.
If you need extra support for yourself they are not the people to be asking.
I would go to a children's centre and ask for support there, I'm under a CAF team to support me to prevent the need for social services getting involved, because I'm in a bit of a difficult situation at the moment.

Social services are last resort they have a lot of power, everything you do and say to them needs to show them you are caring for your child well, then they can discharge you.
Get support elsewhere, honestly.