sleeping positions- help!

[grumpykat25]

So, my daughter hates to sleep on her back, and has point blank refused to do so since she was born, one month ago. We have been putting her down to sleep on her side, which is fine for the first sleep, but after night feeds she squirms and wriggles and moans and groans with trapped wind. ( Infacol is a help- and we're trying gripe water too, but it seems to be further down the tubes that the problems begin, iyswim).
She takes a long time to settle and hates to sleep in her crib/moses basket, so for the last two weeks she has been sleeping in our bed (no duvet, bed pushed against crib, all co-sleeping safety observed etc). Last night for the first time, she managed to roll onto her tummy, where she slept happily and soundly ( unbeknownst to sleeping mummy) for five hours! In a row! That's longer than we've slept continuously by about three hours. So today, I waited for her to go down on my chest for a nap, and carefully transferred her to her moses basket on her tummy, with her head turned to the side. This is the first time she's slept without human contact for three weeks. She's sleeping peacefully, no grunting, wiggling, moaning or crying and it seems obvious that she's MUCH happier on her tummy. What to do? Should I put her down in her crib on her tummy (obviously not in our bed)? Any mothers of tummy sleepers out there with any advice? I have had the SIDs thing drilled into me, so i'm scared to leave her like that, but she's obviously so comfy, and sleeping happily, and then I could have my bed back!
Any thoughts gratefully received but please don't berate me for being a bad mother- I'm just SO tired I'll consider anything.

Both of my DS's have slept on their front,
both have been very windy babies and being on their front is much more comfortable for them and it means that they sleep so much better and longer

being on their tummy is not a big risk, I told my health visitor and she said as long as they are in your room it is fine.

don't worry, loads of mums put them on their tummy's they just choose not to talk about it,

this was the fact with many of my friends, when I said that I put DS1 on his front most of them said actually they also put their DC on their tummy too.

you are not a bad mother if your child sleeps on their tummy.

however if you are really really worried, have you tried giving them a dummy as this may help her to sleep on her back

I know a couple of people who had babies like this and TBH if it's the only way she'll sleep you don't really have an option!! If you're worried, you can get a sensor thing that goes under the mattress with an alarm that'll sound if she stops breathing.

And of course you're not a bad mother!

Yes, I can recommend the movement sensor too. Its made by Angelcare.

But I would check with your health visitor about the sleeping position.

There's not much point in checking with the HV about stomach-sleeping. They will only parrot the official advice.

The safest place for a stomach-sleeping baby is in bed with her mum - provided, of course, that nobody in the same bed drinks, or takes medication or any other drugs, smokes, suffers sleep apnoea, or is ill.

Many babies sleep better on their stomachs or sides, particularly windy babies.

If the wind that is bothering her is lower down, get into the habit of easing it along trhoughout the day (and especially before you start settling her for a nap) by doing things like mimicking nappy-changing, bicycling her legs, doing bunny hops and froggy leaps with her legs (bunny6 hops is knees-together, froggy leaps is knees-akimbo). Also gently massaging her whole belly in a clockwise direction. Always clockwise.

A good way, I found, of settling a baby who likes to be on her tummy, is to lie them on a muslin and stroke their bottom or back slowly and regularly. Once they've fallen asleep, you can turn them over gently by lifting the muslin so that they roll, and then you put your other hand and lower arm on their head and back to support them and slowly ease them onto their back.

DS1 I was completely paranoid and he slept in an Amby till 4 months old when he transitioned to sleeping in a cot on his back fine. Never even considered putting him on his front.

DS2 had mild reflux in the early days and threw up constantly. First 8 weeks we survived by swaddling him and he seemed to settle okay but you can hear lots of grunting through the night. We then put him on his front and he sleeps very soundly that way, I can also hear him bringing up his wind that way.

When I spoke to my friend who used to be a pediatric nurse about this, she said you have to weigh up the risks, if you have no other high risk factors that could contribute to SIDS i.e. smokers, history of SIDS in family, baby has breathing issues or is congested, sleeping on the front should be okay. But it's a decision you can only undertake yourself. I don't feel that bad now that DS2 is 19 weeks old and has fairly strong neck muscles. Good luck in whatever you do!

I feel your pain here. My DD is 6 weeks, she is very windy/indegestion prone and can get very unsettled especially in the evenings and at night. We co-sleep as well, she usually sleeps on her side in my arms but when she is particularly uncomfortable I have had her asleep on her front, lying on my stomach which seems to help. Once she is settled and more deeply asleep, I can then roll her gently off me, onto the bed, still in my arms.

My top tip is to drink loads of peppermint tea. I tried this in the hope that because it is supposed to help with digestion, if I drank enough, she would get the effects through breast milk. I have noticed a difference in DD since I started drinking it, she seems much more comfortable. Whether she is just growing out of being so windy, or the tea is actually helping I'm not sure, but it might be worth a try for you too.

I feel for you. My DS2 would NOT sleep until he was 5 weeks old - my MIL said, try putting him on his front, it was like turning off a switch. He slept on his front from that day forward (I fretted). He slept 12 hours a night from 11 weeks old and has been an amazing sleeper ever since. (Good job as DD who followed him 15 months later didn't sleep for 3.5 years...)

i say let the baby sleep the way baby wants to! I too was moaned at about SIDs and made to even sign a decleration that i did not put my baby to sleep on his belly!but unfortunately thats the way my little Hari likes it!and theres no stopping him now-face into the mattress-bum in the air!now 6months

I was on here when DD was 5 weeks and I was having same problems as you and didn't know what to do.

I ended up leaving her on her tummy and now at 14 weeks she is still on her tum and happy.

She went from groaning, grunting then screaming awake every hour or two to sleeping 5-8 hour stretches.

The other good thing about sleeping on their tummy's is thay can't startle themselves awake so they sleep sounder.

She is in a moses basket with a sensor/monitor on right next to my bed. Id say that was safer than in your bed on her tummy but it's a personal choice obviously.

The HV just spouted regulations at me but the Doc said 90% of SIDS are from smoking households . I did ask if he was sure and how come id never heard that but he was adament. If he is right and you don't smoke then the risk is tiny.

Is their any chance she could have reflux. Just my DD does and they typically do sleep better on tummies.

Does she hate lying flat? Is she a fussy feeder? Does she cough, gargel stuff or even sick up after feeds? Light sleeper? Just rule it out as it's very uncomfortable for them (and us) if she does.

My DCs sometimes slept on their front (when their daddy put them down! - he had his first two twenty years ago when it was the norm).
If I discovered them like this I'd flip but then I've heard more research that it isn't too bad, especially if they are right next to you and non-smokers. Guess I've calmed down a bit but I just couldn't relax if I KNEW they were on their fronts. Caused a bit of tension between us but if we had another one I'd probably be more relaxed, it's just that with all the info around I was on edge a bit.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

I would say if she likes to sleep on her tummy she is probably safer in your bed anyway as you will be more aware of her and her breathing is likely to synchronise with yours. Also, DS used to sleep on his side, sort of resting his head on my breast and a midwife told me that side sleeping is no more risky than back sleeping as long as you make sure they can't roll onto their fronts. So that might be an option you could look into.

Thanks for all your help and advice, it's reassuring just to know that I'm not alone in this dilemma. She's spent the last three night sleeping on her tummy and has also made the transfer back to her crib without any problem. It's right next to me, co-sleeping but with different sheets, really. She's much, much happier, I can hear the wind gurgling around but now she's on her front she can let rip with a massive fart to ease the pain!
Tummy sleeping seems to be the way forward for my little girl, and we even have space in our bed for the cat again (very happy cat!). Thanks everyone x

My 7 weeks old baby girl will NOT sleep on her back, she wont go in her car seat because its on her back she will not go in her pushchair nothing! she just screams, i really dont no whatt to do. She does sleep on her tummy now thats the only way she will sleep other wise she does not sleep she just takes bottel after bottle becuse she is so over tired and does not no what to do with herself, her cot is rite next to my bed i always chek her temp and breathing, what shud i do any tips from anybody or is any1 having the same problem??

My 15-week old son has always preferred sleeping on his tummy. We let him during his day naps, and then at night when he falls asleep we flip him over and he has been ok, however the past few nights he has been really unsettled at night so we are considering letting him sleep on his belly at night too. He is in a crib next to our bed.
The fact is they really DONT KNOW what causes SIDS, and even though there was a reduction in SIDS after they started recommending babies sleep on their backs, it is a flawed statistic, because at that time too, they started to reclassify deaths which would previously be attributed to SIDS - sufocation, heart failure etc. Infant mortality is actually the same.