When baby classes make you cringe

[herbaceous]

Hi there

I've always found anything involving singing along, clapping, or general enforced jollity bum-clenchingly embarrassing, so wasn't looking forward to going to baby classes one bit.

However, as a middle-class mother of a PFB, I've thought it my duty to do my bit, and have in fact found a couple that don't make my eyes water with cringing.

There's one, however, called Baby Sensory, that I'm sure is all highly educational, but I just can't bear the patronising tone of the 'leader', the glum forebearance on the faces of the other parents, or the obligatory annoying mother who talks to her baby the whole way through as if she's the only one there.

Would it be bad of me not to go? There's lots of toys for DS (8months) to play with, and he does seem to like it (after 10 minutes of crying when he first arrives). He's going to a childminder for two days a week soon, so will get plenty of stimulation and other children to look at...

Oh god of course you shouldn't go if you hate it. I'm sure you have toys at home for your ds to play with.

Baby groups are really for mothers to make friends with each other anyway. Not that that's not a good thing, but they are really not necessary for an 8-month-old baby.

No - baby groups are for you, not the baby - he doesn't care, you don't like - don't go!

That's kind of what I thought. There's a lot of emphasis on signing, and showing flashcards of 'sun', 'rain', etc, while the babies look blankly on. I think he'd rather chew a book and shout at my cat.

God 'elp us.

Find a decent baby group, the kind where all the toys are in a heap in the middle of the floor, and you just kind of plonk the baby in the middle of them and let them fend for themself while you disappear to search out the tea/coffee and biscuits

You didn'tr miss much there, Riven. baby massage was ok, as it was just an ice-breaker to meet other mothers, and laugh as their baby pissed all over them, and the babies liked it, but the rest is all pretty much guff. Ds's favourite thing at the moment is random bits of paper or cardboard; anything more complex would be a total waste of time.

There was one poor baby there, about 4 months old, who spent the whole class screaming with tiredness, while everyone rang bells and waved chiffon scarves in the poor thing's face. Egads.

That sounds like a cult. Run for the hills while you still can.

And it's £6.50 a class, and you have to sign up for 10 classes. Money, old rope, etc.

BertieBotts gives sound advice. The babies develop a robust immune system from chewing the toys and learn to socialize, while their parents model good practice together.

Sounds pretty hellish herby. Bow out now. I don't think it will damage his GCSEs.

I go to a singing one (with my DS of course) but mainly to have a meet up with some friends. Me and my pals sit there chatting which is probably hugely irriating for everyone else ( there are one or two very enthusistic parents in our group) , except the babies and toddlers. I can see it now:

"AIBU to expect when I pay £40 to go to a childrens music class that there won't be other mothers there who don't give two hoots about the nursery rhymes .All they want to do is chat."

There's a good toy library nearby, which costs a ridiculously small £3 for a year's membership. Bit more like it...

The best baby group I ever joined was in our local library. Free, and you got a cup of tea. And a biscuit, if you were lucky. There was a pile of toys for the babies to crawl around, and plenty of books. In the holidays they'd put on an art/craft activity for older siblings as well.

I really don't think little ones of that age need structured play/learning. Baby group is for you to have a cup of tea in peace and meet other moms!

BertieBotts"Find a decent baby group, the kind where all the toys are in a heap in the middle of the floor, and you just kind of plonk the baby in the middle of them and let them fend for themself while you disappear to search out the tea/coffee and biscuits "

So true... don't pay anything more than a nominal amount to cover tea and biscuits/room hire if applicable. The best baby groups I go to are free/two pounds, and have a loose structure: first hour & a half as BertieBotts describes, last twenty minutes a little singsong with nursery rhyme actions in a group for the toddlers.

It's definitely FOR YOU, not for your baby, so only go if it makes you happy. And save your money from those pricey classes for Starbucks or whatever.

PS, I've recently set one up with a couple of friends, rotating around our houses. It's great, as we know our houses are baby/toddler proofed, and can really relax on the sofas for a good chat while babies lie back on mats and toddlers amuse selves with each other's toys.