What to do when you get home?!

[Koogers]

Hi, I've got 5 weeks left until my due date and rather than worrying about labour - am more worried about what happens when we get home! How will I know when to feed the baby and when its full, how long it should sleep for, generally - what to do? Help! x

It will be ok - you'll learn about what your baby needs very quickly. A book like 'Babylove' by Robyn Barker can be useful in helping you understand what to expect at the beginning.

Well, when they need feeding they tell you by sniffing, first, then smacking their lips, then, eventually crying. When they're full they stop feeding, when they need sleep, then they cry until you get them to sleep and sleep (so long as nothing wakes them) as long as they need.

Seriously, they're pretty well evolved to tell you what they need in order to survive, you just need to trust that you have it in you to be a good mother and to listen to your baby and responde

There is no wrong or right, really.

One baby is very different to the next (you learn that when you have more than one!).

Try to be as relaxed as you can, do not feel pressurised to do anything and don't take too much advice from others, as it will only confuse you.

The first few weeks at home should really be about you getting over the birth, bonding, establishing feeding (you may need some help with this - if so, ask your MW/HV asap) and trying to rest as much as possible whenever your baby does (which might be all the time, or might be not very much at all!).

Feed on demand whether breastfeeding or formula feeding. If your baby cries, they are very likely hungry. They almost certainly won't be able to go more than 3 or 4 hours without a feed. Lots of breastfed babies will want to feed a lot more frequently at first.

Babies generally cry because they are hungry, wet/soiled nappy, cold/hot, tired, in pain or just want to be cuddled. Try establishing which of these it is - you will get better at this as you get to know your baby.

Good luck - and get some rest now, as you'll be needing those energy reserves xx

Just confirming what others have said, really.

If the baby cries, offer it food. If that doesn't work - nappy check, try to bring up a burp, try to see if the baby will sleep. You'll get to know the signs for some of these things fairly quickly.

It's almost always hunger with my 9 week old - and it's been that way since she was born. Sometimes she cries when she gets over-tired.

The baby might be hungry very often - even if it's just fed 10 mins before and then starts to cry again, it could be hunger again. Remember how tiny their stomachs are and how fast they empty!

Get into a routine, whatever suits you and the baby best. Our routine is that she feeds one side, then has a nappy change, then feeds the other side, and then either sleeps, or plays for a bit and then sleeps.

I was totally clueless too - 9 weeks in, and I feel like I've known how to look after babies all my life. And it's felt like that since perhaps a week after she was born.

Good luck! And remember, she will never remember your first few botched attempts at putting on a nappy, or a vest! Just go with the flow and try your best to keep her full, clean and warm

My DD was absolutely clear about what she wanted when tiny. I knew nothing and the newborn signs were pretty easy to get Just feed when baby wants it and then they'll probably sleep, or look about for a bit.

IME any 'routine' you fall into will change as soon as you realise it's a routine. Then it can be abit more tricky as it took me a while to catch up.

trust me, you will be fine
first day home, got on with dinner etc, had dinner, then just sat and waited for DS to wake up lol, I was just the same, i can't remember how many times i phoned my mum with, what do we do, hes asleep, do i wake him, when do i change him, should i give him a bath before a feed, after a feed lol.
i didn't even watch the t.v, i just sat there and waited for him! next time i will definately not be putting the pause button on

2 weeks later, and i knew exactly what he wanted with each cry and when out and about often got the ' he isn't your first is he! ' comment

it all comes so quickly and instinctively you won't question it after a while

Get reading! I can recommend the What to Expect in the baby's first year book. Its full of useful practical info, and non-opinionated.

I wouldn't bother with trying to get a routine going immediately, just go with the flo. After a month or so, baby will eventually start to find its own routine.

Remember, sleep when the baby sleeps! You will be far more exhausted in the first few weeks than you expect!

How will you know it needs feeding - You'll know. Your baby will make sure of that

You will know it's full because it will stop feeding/fall asleep.

It will sleep for as long as it needs to. There is no point in trying to get a baby to nap in any sort of routine. They sleep when they want to.

I know it's cliche but it will just come naturally to you. There is no need to worry.

Good luck btw.

Thanks for all the advice! Will def do my best to try and be as relaxed as possible and pray that the baby allows me to get a little bit of sleep every now and then! x