Dealing with the toddler stage second time around - am I the only one to have so much less patience doing it all again?

[hattyyellow]

DD3 is nearly 15 months and a lovely, cheeky, determined little mite - interested in everything and wanting to explore everything.

I feel dreadful as I seem to have lost a large section of my patience and enthusiasm for dealing with the toddler stage. I also have twins who are 4 and a half so it's a little while since I went through this stage.

Maybe it's from having done it all with two kids before - but I find when DD3 is trying to throw loo paper rolls into the bath for the 5th time/bang things against the car for the 6th time/throwing her food on the floor for the 100th time - I just want to scream.

I just seem to feel pretty impatient and irritable with her a lot of the time for normal toddler behaviour. Not to the extent where I'm shouting or threatening her or anything like that. But I'm sure I remember smiling more indulgently/sighing but putting up with it more last time.

It worries me how I'm going to cope with the rest of her toddler years when I'm wishing she'd finished them already. She is already screaming her head off and thrashing around every time I put her in the car seat/pram and that gets wearying when it happens every day several times for the school runs. I try and let her walk as much as possible when we're not in a hurry so she does get a lot of freedom where possible.

Any advice? Please tell me I'm not the only one...Am praying it is a particular stage of her development and that once she can do more/understand more it will get easier. Do they even understand "no" at 15 months?

bump

Toddlers can be very frustrating and, in response to your original question, I don't know whether I find it more difficult now second time round, but I am definitely more likely to go down the benign neglect route..

The fact that you are on here asking this means you're concerned yourself and you can calm down a bit..

Think "this too shall pass" over and over again..

Thanks so much mamsnet.She starts at childminders this afternoo to allow me to do more freelance work - so have swopped irritation for guilt! The life of a mother eh!

You're right though I'm sure this phase will pass. I remember before getting frustrated when my DC got particulary frustrated and then they'd master a few more skills and we'd all chill out a bit!

Thank you!

I just get confused about which one I'm dealing with. I let the 5yo get away with something that he really should know better than to do, by now, and then tell the toddler off for, umm, behaving like a toddler.

I think it's harder with 2nd/3rd children because you have places you need to be at certain times - school runs and all that. With the eldest, if they refused to get in the pram I could just sit myself down on the sofa, pick up a book and act like we were going to stay home and be boring all day.

No advice really - except, spring/summer is coming. I find it all so much easier when the weather is better!

I agree with fruitful that yes, number 2 just has to fit in and so it's more difficult in a lot of ways BUT we also have lots more tricks up our sleeves second time round and a lot more perspective..
I've spent loads of time recently with a DF and her new (well, nearly 5 mths old now) baby and sometimes I want to laugh out loud at some of the worries she bring on herself.. she, meanwhile, probably thinks I am a loon!!!!

Fruitful, you're so right! I found myself at bath time saying to DD3 "arm up please" about three times as I undressed her before realising that she had no idea what I meant!

You're both so right in that no 2/3 has to just fit in and there is less time to be indulgent. And I had forgotten the lack of urgency most of the time first time around - no one was waiting at the school gates if my twins were refusing to get in the pram!

Thank you both so much for your reassurance.

Thanks Leonie - that's very reassuring!

I remember my mother coming out with 3 or 4 different names (I have 4 brothers) before just sighing and saying "you child, whoever you are, please put your coat on!"

Totally with you on this one. With my 9 year old - when she went through this I didn't have another two children to look after and got a lot more sleep and rest than I do now.
Now that DD2 (2.5) is in full thottle (and she's a bloody nightmare by the way) I just CAN'T be bothered with it, especially as I have a 1 year old DS too. (who will no-doubt be hitting this stage soon, which makes me want to shoot myself...)

So, yes, not much patience here either.

Hatty Lol, that's me too, reel off three names and finish it with; ."..whatever your names is..."

Me too. I never minded when DS made a big mess because I knew I could just clean it up later. Now, when DD makes a mess, I know that I have so little time to clean anything up it becomes hugely annoying. Also very little time to just dawdle and enjoy.

Nope you are not alone