serious allegation made against dd at school today - am worried!

[12345qwerty]

I'm a regular who has namechanged.

I got called to go and see dd's head today to be told that she was a lunchtime supervisor last week of younger children and a boy has said she took him to the toilet and touched his willy.

Dd was brought in and said she didn't take anyone to the toilet but the head left us to chat and she admitted to me that she did take a boy to the toilets and waited outside. He came out and asked her to get the tap to work which she did but she insists that she didn't touch him at any point.

The school have said they have no evidence either way and cannot do anything else but I'm worried the parents of the boy will not be happy with this. Dh is going to speak to her after school and see if she has anything else to say but I feel like she is already being treated as guilty.

I'm really worried for dd who is 9!

How old is the boy? I think it's likely he's making this up, and it won't go nay further.

how old is the boy?

It's normal at this age to be curious about each others bodys is it not?

I remember being about 9 or ten and boy asking me to touch his willy.

Sorry, no other advice, but I hope it works out for your dd.

Sorry, had a meeting - the boy was about 6 I think. I'm not sure where his parents expect this to go which is what worries me as my dd has been identified and it's her word against the boys.

It really can't "go any further"; it's one child's story against another child's story. I'd really say there's nothing to worry about here.

Six year olds make up all sorts of crap. One lad I knew lived on the railway line.

this happened last week? and only now has he said anything?

I would also query why your 9 yo was left to take 6 yo to the toilets - surely he should have gone by himself? Or with an adult if he needed help? I think that if I were the boy's parents I would be more concerned about levels of supervision at a lunchtime!

I don't know this child or your DD, but sometimes, when things happen to children they blame the wrong person to test the waters.

apparently it happened Friday, he told his parents at the weekend and they went into school yesterday.

I am worried on lots of levels about this. The head pulled dd out of a lesson yesterday to ask her more questions about this even though they had already asked her when I was there which I am not happy about. I feel dd should be represented because thsi could turn into something serious.

No idea why a boy would lie but dd is adament he is wrong and yes I would like to know why it was left to her to take him to the toilet - dd thought she was being helpful.

I'm also worried why this boy might say things and that if it is mis placed towards my dd her reputation is already damaged by it.

I've also told her if the head wants to talk to her again she is to ask for me to be called which again I'm worried about because will they think I am worried about her being "interviewed" alone.

Dh is going into the school later to complain about her being quizzed alone yesterday - feels a bit like the head was trying to put words into her mouth!

hmm poor you

I would try to emphasise the "Don't go into the boys toilet" rather than STAY AWAY FROM WILLIES element

TBH as I went to a catholic school touching willies was what we DID during lunchtimes but it was among peers

I don't see why we should assume the boy is lying though.
I'm willing to bet we wouldn't if the sexes were reversed and it was a 9yr old boy touching a 6 yr old girl.
OP- you need to insist the school gets to the bottom of it, for your own, and your daughter's piece of mind. Something also clearly needs to be done about asking older children to accompany younger ones to the toilet as well, which as others have said, really shouldn't be necessary?

This sounds like it is getting a bit out of control. I don't think she should be being questioned so intensely without you there at this point.

You poor thing, really hope it all works out

I'm not saying the boy IS lying but I'm also not saying dd is lying but obviously their stories don't match and it may be as little as a misunderstanding but I fell dd is the one who's reputation is marred by this.

I have thought about how I would feel if I were the parents of the boy and I'm worried they will not be happy with "it's his word against hers now lets just let it lie". But I'm also concerned why a boy of 6 would see this immediatly as a "dirty" thing. I have a 5 year old ds and if someone touched his willy he would laugh about it and not thing anything odd about it.

thanks pixie - I'm also worried about the questioning which is why dh is going in later. I've told her if they want to talk to her again today she has to ask for me to be called but I'm also worried that this might seem like we are guilty of something. Perhaps I am getting over emotional about this and it might all be over and done with today - please please let it be!

It will be fine don't worry and don't feel guilty. Just be calm, concerned about the situation but supportive of your DD and no more dragging her out of classes to discuss it without you present.

good luck and be strong

oh 12345qwerty what a horrible situation to be in , i really hope it all gets sorted out soon ,

Op - hope this gets resolved for you very quickly.

Crikey I remember when i was about 9ish me and my cousin of about 11 would go into the loo and show each other our bits. It's just normal kiddie stuff. It sounds like they are treating it as something a bit perverse. Like no kid ever showed an interest in another kid's private parts before! Hope it all works out ok.

When I was in the last year of infants (so what is that, age 7?) a group of us boys and girls used to show each other our privates during playtime in the school playing field. Out in the open! We had a huge field, lots of trees, you could easily hide behind. I'll show you mine if you show me yours was a fave game. There was a boy called John who would show you his under the desk if you wanted to see it. This was more than 40 years ago.