Passive Parenting!!

[mogwai]

Ok, so who else fancies leaving the little one in a vibrating chair with flashing lights while they nip down the pub for some guilty pleasure at lunchtime? Is this breaking the law...technically?

Mine's a vodka and diet coke, and as it's lunchtime, I'll bag some potato wedges

serah....you are my rock, in manner of Paul Burrell, minus the flower shop and penchant for "Backstairs Billy".

Just off to get the rocking chair out of the boot and wipe off the jam.....

Is this the first time we have been online at the same time???? Wow. Is Stripe asleep?

oh mog

no prob not confined to passive parents...
the first six weeks are the hardest and then things start feeling a little less 'bleak' 'overwhelming'[my words not yours]

i do remember it all feeling like an almighty responsibility!!

oh bollocks boysie is climbing a fence.....xx

Leave the jam on. It'll give her something to suck on.

stripe is asleep, indeed (dh rocking her with his foot). But occasional gremlin noises being emitted.....

Yes, possibly first time on line at same time

jam could be years old

hmmmm might make her sleep a bit longer though....

I suppose spikey is glamorously wafting around the food hall in Selfridges, sunglasses on head, golden haired child asleep in Bugaboo travel system, unlike me (mothercare yoga pants for third day running, bad roots revealing that my hair is "shitty brown" and not "pure plum power" as it says on the box).

I will never get that Smallbone of Devizes kitchen at this shoddy rate....

twiddle twiddle tum. Nothing to do. Keep getting up to look at DS's seat on the butchers block as its all quiet..... HE'S NOT THERE!!! Thats why its quiet!! Twiddle twiddle.

The whole house looks like a bombs hit it, and I'm just sat here, fannying about on the computer, and ooooh..... whats that at half past 3 ona Friday afternoon???? Is that a glass of wine I see???

Hmmm... nothing in for dinner again. Oh dear.

wipe the jam off and soak the chair in vodka?

No vodka left (guilty, sheepish emoticon)

Shit, Stripe waking up, I have to go before the blisters on her back pop and we've got more stipes in the house

xx

Mmmm.. its nice to imagine that every one else is doing the glamorous thing isn't it? It's great for making you feel a whole lot worse about everything.

I put a few things in perspective when I met up with some of my antenatal class. That was a good moment for me. Also, felt for the first time ever to be a "good mummy" when I met breastfeeding mother weaning her 8 week old baby on bread and strawberry yoghurt

Don't forget, you know the milks warm when you hear the "ping!"

Hello Passive Mums.

Lurked on your thread pre-birth, but failed miserably to have a passive birth (no drugs due to induction and being too dilated by the time they let me near the labour suite - not even Entinox .

Making up for lost time now. DD is currently in her Graco Six Speed Swing, as I was getting bouncy chair ankle. Had horrible night and grizzly morning, so I'm just keeping her asleep as much as poss today .

Trying to drink at glass of red wine every evening hoping soporific effects will pass on to dd, but sooo tired that I stop after half a glass, terrified that I will be too squify to look after her (drinking capacity severly impaired at the moment).

DH is djing until 3am tonight and I am seriously considering taking the swing up to bed, as dd very windy and unsettled at the moment - passivly thinking of leaving her in there for a couple of hours if she settles in there .

Hi Mandymac, and welcome aboard - sorry to hear about your horrifically natural delivery

The old red wine can be a bit dangerous in the first early days - I was combatting sleep from about 8 o clock one evening after partaking in a glass. Don't worry, I'm all better now....

Glad your offspring likes the 6 speed Mine absolutely hated it, and we renamed it the child scarer so am currently in physio for rocking chair ankle and large weighty child shoulder.

We kept sane in those early days of sleep deprivation by thinking up things to tell him when he's older, such as:
"Don't know how you can sleep with all those monsters under your bed..."
Revenge will be sweet...... [evil emoticon]

hi mandymac

much sympathy re lack of drugs during birth. At least you did want them, that's the crucial bit. You evidently have an excellent sense of humour, welcome to the muppet show (gonzo blows trumpet and singes his fur in respect)

I was thinking about the grades of passive parenting. A grade 10 must be leaving your child home alone while you partake in a booze cruise run to Calais or jaunt to Mallorca (or both if you really wanna live by the seat of your pants). We should work forwards from grade 1.

Grade 1 = boozy nappy change at 3am, discover next day, as nursing hangover, nappy is on back to front.

please continue!

Hi Serah & Mogwai

We are also plotting revenge on DD involving photos of her in Tigger suit with ears, bought for the express purpose of taking embarassing photos to show her future boyfriends .

Oh Mandymac.... you have much to learn! My parents thought that they would have the pleasure of revealing my bare arse photo to my boyfriends - I had been drowned by a wave and consoling myself tending to my sandcastle wearing my only item of dry clothing - a short anorak when they took the photo.
I took the wind out of their sails alright - my boyfriends had already seen my bare arse!

AArgh - does that mean dd will be involved in weird 'furry' scene and will dress up as Tigger for boyfriends?! - Sorry thats a bit wrong isn't it

Oooohhh.. I haven't thought of it like that, but you never know... you may scar her for life with the threat!!!

(Don't you find it weird, imagining them all "grown up" and bringing girlfriend/boyfriends home? I still find it hard to imagine DS walking!)

Hello Mandymac! I can top that Mogs. We have video footage of monkeychops discovering his little, erm, chipper for the first time and being quite taken with it. It responds too! Oh so much leverage! A passive dotage awaits!

grade 2: neglect to cut childs finger nails, until child gives self rather large and visible facial wound to remind you, your health visitor and everyone else within 100 yards that they need doing.

Monkey..... I remember, not so long back, DP shouting me upstairs, going "quick quick, you have to see this!" in the most excited tone... I assumed DS had learned to breakdance, twirling on his head whilst having his bath given the urgency in his tone.

Nope. He had a semi. As usual.

grade 2 upped the ante, possibly a bit more than I first anticipated. Can't take it back though!! Its all uphill from here

ok grade III

plucking your eyebrows while giving a bottle feed. Yes, I've managed it

....though I wouldn't say it's the best job I've ever done...... now have permanent look of surprise on face