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how do I make the boys like me mummy?

5 replies

Aliarse · 10/03/2010 21:41

My DS is 4 and has been in a nursery class since jan. He knows some of the children already from a previous class. He has now joined them. He seemed to be enjoying it but for the last few weeks seems reluctant to go. Today he screamed all the way down the road.

One of the boys there is hitting him because he doesnt want my DS to be friends with his special friend, he also tells my DS scary stories about me getting hurt so that my DS wakes up at night with nightmares. His screaming today was because he didnt want to pass by this boy's house.

Another boy there has told him he was a baddie. One of his old friends from babyhood rolls her eyes to heaven when he approaches to speak to her and ignores him.

I told him the eye-roller was showing off to her friends to make them like her and he wasn't to care about it. He asked what he could do to make the boys like him?

I have spoken to the hitter's mum and she has promised to speak to him (we are friends)
and I am trying to get other children around to play to widen his friend circle.

Its heart breaking and my DH is even worse at dealing with this than I am. Is there anything else I can do?

He's is the youngest in the class.

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blinder · 10/03/2010 23:01

Getting some children round to play is a good idea.

Of course, he can't make anyone like him but it will probably take him a good thirty years to work that one out just like the rest of us.

Not wanting to minimise his experience but trying to put it into some perspective. Being liked or not is a very human worry which you won't be able to solve straight away.

The hitting sounds like the real issue. What is being done to protect him in class?

Aliarse · 10/03/2010 23:07

Apparently the teachers say "stop that" !
But I think the boy has ways to do it unseen.

I hope to speak to them tomorrow.

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hellymelly · 10/03/2010 23:21

Oh that is so sad! I must say school can be brutal.my Dd is five and she gets upset by things like this but luckily for her not a very regular thing.She only really gets mean comments from one older girl,but I find even that quite upsetting and so I can imagine how you feel.Your poor Ds!I would mention the hitting to his teacher in a discreet way so that she can keep an eye out.

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blinder · 10/03/2010 23:22

Yes don't be afraid to pin them down on what their policy is and what they intend to do to supervise the children more effectively. Your son is distressed and you want it stopped, end of.
They tend to try to palm mums off but don't be apologetic.

Aliarse · 11/03/2010 21:42

He had a day off today as I think he needed a break to rest from it all.

He is happy to go back tomorrow. He is going to stay away from the unkind boys. If he gets hit again he is going to shout "Stop that!" and tell teacher.

We are walking a different way to the nursery.

Apparently this boy has told him he is a loser... - he thinks its to do with winning and losing.

I will still speak to the teacher tomorrow though and try not to be fobbed off

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