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End of my tether (DS not sleeping) please advise!!!

6 replies

MathsMadMummy · 09/03/2010 08:38

Hello,
I have a 6mo DS who I BF (and he recently started solids).
I've pretty much always fed him to sleep and moved him ninja-style into his bed. No matter how much/little milk he has in the day, in the evening he drinks like it's going to run out! So he'd only get to bed around 11. He used to sleep around 10hrs but it's getting less and less. When he wakes up I know I should feed him and put him back, but I'm so knackered I just latch him on and fall asleep. Lately he won't even go in his bed in the first place.

We've tried a dummy a few times - last night he didn't spit it out (an improvement!) but it didn't comfort him IYSWIM; not in the same way as a boob!

I'm not after sympathy, it could be a lot worse and I know it's our own fault for not getting stricter earlier. But I'm so very very tired. DD was a brilliant sleeper - she was partially FF, so she had a bottle at night and a dummy for sleep - which she'd given up by DS's age!

Any advice on controlled crying, routines etc... please!!!
TIA

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
teaandcakeplease · 09/03/2010 09:11

I've always found the less sleep mine get, the worse they sleep. Children have different body clocks to ours and can get very unsettled if we do not adhere to them in my opinion.

I think at 6 months they're old enough to do a bit of gentle sleep training with. I used the baby whisperer pick up put down method (PUPD). So when they were due for a nap, I would start an identical routine everytime so they knew it was nap time by my actions/ words. Then I would lie them down after and when they cried, I would pick them up remaining right by the cot all the time, once they stopped crying, I'd lie them down again. When they started to cry, I'd pick them up, when they stopped I'd lie them down. Over and over again, never leaving room. The first time I had to pick them up 70 times, the next nap time, 50 times, the next sleep time 30 times etc etc. It took 3 days. This worked for my daughter brilliantly. They get a bit cross the first time you do this but they soon get the message that mummy means business.

However with my son that method didn't work so well. I did the same usual method for nap time and then would leave room for 5 minutes and then go in pick up until calm. Lay down, leave again wait another 5 minutes and go in etc. Until he passed out. That worked far better with him after a few days. But you have to do what you feel comfortable with here.

Sleep routine wise, I woke mine at 7am as otherwise the rest of the day went to pot, put down again at 10.30am for a nap. Then kept awake until about 2 or 3pm, then put them down for another nap, and then put them to bed after a bath at 7pm ish. This worked well for my two and still does with my 14 month old. daughter at 2 and a half still naps at 1pm for 2 hours as well. If my son misses a nap he sleeps worse at night and is harder to settle as he is so overtired.

Both my children already had 2 teeth by 6 months, so if they woke in the night and weren't due a feed, I'd put some bonjela teething gel on their gums and leave again and see if they'd go back to sleep. Often they did. If they really wouldn't settle still, I did offer a feed and they'd sleep afterwards for 3 hours until the teething gel wore off again. It took with both my kids until 9 months to sleep at night without waking for a feed at 3am. I kept the 11pm dream feed until they weren't interested though and didn't take much.

Every baby is different but that's what worked for me. I love this book but didn't use his sleep training advice but everything else I found helpful.

Whenever mine were ill I would have to roll with it and re-train them once better however.

If they're waking from loosing the dummy, it maybe a good time to go cold turkey if sleep training anyway? So they learn to self soothe. I found sleep training very hard and cried and felt guilty but looking back I never regret it now.

MathsMadMummy · 09/03/2010 11:20

bump

thanks teaandcakeplease

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LooL00 · 09/03/2010 11:31

Has he just started fruit and veg or does he have any protein in his food? I moved dd very rapidly onto fish and lentil and cheese in purees at 6 months as fruit and veg purees don't have many calories compared to milk. If you can get 3 proper meals a day down him you can be a bit more confident about not feeding in the night. And if you can't get him to eat a lot in the day then maybe he does still need night feeds?

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MathsMadMummy · 09/03/2010 12:20

Thanks looloo we only started weaning recently but as he wants to feed himself we'll be going more along the BLW route and just letting him try anything. We thought about weaning at 4 months (which we did with DD) but I was very determined to leave it longer this time. Possibly I shouldn't have, as DS is enormous (11lb 14oz at birth, still 95th-ish centile) maybe he just needs more food!

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LooL00 · 09/03/2010 13:15

I went down the middle route with mine and made mashed up stuff but kept bits out for them to eat as finger food. So I'd be spooning in (e.g. mashed up macaroni sheese and veg) at the same time as they were stuffing in(whole pasta and bits of cheese and veg). It was a bit of a pain to do but we moved pretty quickly away from the mashing.

teaandcakeplease · 09/03/2010 13:35

My boy was 9lbs 8oz not quite the size of yours but I had to start offering solids earlier. He slept sooo much better after I started solids.

Agree with Loo ideas.

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