Super-organised mums, please help

[ifeelitall]

I have a 5yo ds and a 1yo db, and I feel like I can manage to get through the day fine looking after db, shopping, cooking, getting the washing done, collecting 5yo from nursery, dinner, bath, bedtime (dh isn't home in the evenings).

But once the boys are in bed I'm tired and just sort of veg in front of the computer and don't do any of the things I think all day I'll do when they're asleep (sort kitchen cupboards, make a meal planner, start on photo albums/scrapbook, write letters, do household finances etc. etc.).

So I basically feel I'm getting through the essentials but nothing else - not to mention doing a yoga class or something.

Does anyone have any tips on using time better? I'm thinking about not switching computer on till evening (tend to browse web with cup of tea for about half of db's nap), and considering waking up an hour earlier than everyone else, but not really sure how much I could realistically do in that hour.

Fed up though of feeling nothing's getting done apart from the housework!

Hmm, can't help really as I'm in the same boat.

TBH with a one year old alone, that's all you have to do - get through the day.

Your getting more done than me but I don't stress about it.

I have a 2.9 yr old DS and a 12 week old DD. Before DD I used to spend too much time during his naps on the computer but I felt I should have been resting - not anything else!

You'll gradually get more time as you'll remember with 5 yr old and those photo albums will get done, just don't think about them just now.

During naps - sit on your bum with a cuppa and don't open the computer!

What about getting stuff done on weekends when your DP can take children off your hands?

what's your dh's work pattern? you say he isn't there in the evenings so what about day time? do you get any time to yourself at all?

I'm the same. Cant do anything except veg in the evenings.I do make a real effort to do useful things while DS2 has his nap though and that helps to get more done (still not a great deal though tbh!)

How about nominating just one or two evenings a week where you do say an hour's worth of jobs. (if you really feel overwhelmed by it all)

Personally I hate doing jobs in the evening (and I work shifts so aren't even home some evenings)

As someone else suggested could you create an hour or two at the weekend for you (or your dh of course) to blitz jobs. So much easier if the house is empty and you can whizz round.

Could you break tasks down into say 10-15 minutes slots? Then have the baby in the sam e room where he can see you, occupied with a toy etc. For example - clearing just one shelf of a cupboard is say 15 minutes. Sorting out 4 letters - filing/shredding etc is another 10 minutes.

Occasionally due to my work pattern I am fortunate enough to have a free day (baby at cm and dd at school) and I get to have a real blitz. Try and think ahead a little bit. Even a few months from now the baby might be able to go to a grandparent/aunt or whatever for a few hours and create some space for you.

Thanks for your replies! Db is in a cat-napping phase (again), which isn't helping, as he's often only sleeping 30-45 minutes a time (yesterday only once during the day), which almost sends me over the edge!

We don't have any family around us - mil lives 3 hours drive away, my parents are in another country - so we have no help apart from paid babysitter. I'd love to just book her for some time so I could get stuff done at home, but we can't afford that at the moment.

Dh works most evenings, as I said, and often at weekends too. When he's around at the weekends, he does the food shopping, hangs out with 5yo etc. He does his share, but there's still the baby to look after.

I've been trying to relax into it and think, ok the first year is hard and you just sort of muddle through - but now db's had his first birthday and I'm thinking about starting work again (freelancing from home), I'm sort of impatient to become more efficient.

Am thinking about dorky things like emptying the dishwasher the night before instead of at breakfast time, also laying the breakfast table at the same time, getting up at 6 and using the hour to do the things I find hard to fit in like write thank you cards etc. But my heart does sink at the thought of voluntarily getting up so early just when db is sleeping through! Perhaps I should allow myself a grace period...

I feel for you I wonder whether it's because you have a dh who is not there most eve weekends. It can be draining as we tend to work around a 9-6 pattern and people assume 'family' for eves and weeknds. My dh works most evenings and all weekends and I only have the one ds and I'm exhausted - ie had hair cut once last year etc.

I tend to do housework very very fast and yes it means that the basics are all done and it's a pain but then all the admin builds up.

More recently I'm a stay at home mum and it hasn't made any difference but my pattern is now this - washing and dishwashing happen in the evening. Washing hung out to dry for the morning (winter - I put it indoors) and I do first think in morning when ds getting up pottering about. Dishwashing in the the evening and depends on how I'm feeling but putting away is last thing

I do bathroom when dh had his shower (I have my shower first thing to get it out of the way).

I can get lots done even though ds at nursery only 2.5 per day - but at the same time I cannot remember time when I put makeup on or dried my hair properly.

I'm now hanging out when kiddo starts school - but then no doubt I'll need to get a job and it will be the same old same old.

My main issue is keeping ds occupied and so having to shift chores around it. DH is also home quite a bit in the day but does nothing except sleep or make a mess (he's a messy bloke) - so that makes it very hard. It's not the chores I have to do but really going around everyone elses timetable that I find very hard.

Oh if only I had a pound for every time I've planned (and failed...) to use my time more constructively after dd has gone to bed I would be a rich, rich woman. The hours and hours that have been frittered away with TV, PC and wine....

I just HATE chores in the evenings with a passion. But then there's the mountain of photos, unedited video, scrapbooks, sewing, sorting, letter-writing - oh yes - and the unfinished best-selling novel that will earn me millions when I sell the film rights....

Was that helpful.....? I do find though, if I do anything for up to an hour I feel stupendiously virtuous and self-satisfied.

15 minutes at a time - don't worry about doing stuff perfectly, just do it for 15 minutes (sorry - google FLYLADY and have a look, it's helped me to stay/start to get sane with the house again)

It does seem a cleeshay and I am absolutely rubbish at it, but the 15 minute thing helps housework to not feel like a HUGE mountain (just a small hillock...) and it has helped me start to straighten things out

Cleaning the bathroom while dc2 was in the bath was a revelation...I can see in the mirror again

With a 30 minute cat nap, that would be 15 minutes focussed clearing/cleaning/whatever (even if it's doing the dishwasher / peeling spuds for dinner) then a 15 minute cup of tea - stick the kettle on during your chosen chore and save time - and sit down...

"But once the boys are in bed I'm tired and just sort of veg" - don't beat yourself up, vegging is definitely allowed and indeed I would positively encourage it with a one-year-old. I wouldn't even consider getting up an hour earlier - most parents I know would kill for an extra hour in bed! If you really feel you should be doing more why not aim to do half an hour of something (sort kitchen cupboards, make a meal planner, start on photo albums/scrapbook, write letters, do household finances etc. etc) before vegging. I would always do the dishwasher emptying, laying table for breakfast thing (also laying outfits for next day) the night before just because it's a few less things to think about first thing and doesn't seem to take a minute when you do it in the evening, but adds to the frantic rush if you leave it to the next day. You sound pretty organsied to me - I take my hat off to you!