Be honest - how much time to you spend playing/interacting with your little one/s??

[mandymoo]

I am on a massive guilt trip as i just dont seem to find the time to sit down and just play with dd (who is 2.8). I am also a bit frustrated as she doesnt play on her own much so i am trying to get her to do that. Also i am starting a new job on wed (2 days a week one week and 3 days the other) and am feeling soooo guilty. How much time do you spend with your child/ren?? I take her to groups and we go to the beach and stuff but just dont do much of the sitting down in the lounge and playing. Do I have an idealistic view or is this just how it is??

I just wish I could get dd & ds2 to stop screaming in frustration at things (cutting with scissors for dd, pushing trollies around for ds2).....

Unplug the TV....I can tell within an hour of having a child whether s/he watches a lot of TV..it's all to do with attention span...and I can usually predict whether they will like a tweenies video (used to TV being on then switched off) a Disney Video (seldom watches hrs of telly) or a thomas/tots TV/Teletubbies (can only concentrate for a few minutes at a time - watches lots of TV for ages)

BTW that is all sweeping assumptions and every child is different but I can usually tell the trends in TV watching in the house by the childs behaviour (apart from one little boy who has no concentration when looked after by DH and can concentrate for ages when looked after by me.....and his parents share his care)

My ds's complained about a year ago that I never played with them , but actually I do loads of craft things, dancing, just not building lego donkeys / tardis's / daleks like DH.

Made me feel awful tho, maybe they'd like me to have a sex change?

Luckily I had my children close together so ds1 and ds2 are now 'best friends' and play together all the time which means I don't have to! I 'interact' with them all day long as I'm a SAHM but like others have said, we are usually out and about but if not, the boys tend to play with each other rather than me (phew!). The only things I do 'with' them are jigsaws, snakes and ladders and reading books - I can't bear the trains or cars or anything like that. After all, I am 32 years old!!

We are constantly conversing though, obviously, as we are all joined at the hip!

Mine are close too, they're like twins and keep each other company. It's lovely to watch!

It's brilliant isn't it? Mine are only 4 and 2.5 and they are so funny together. Ds1 leading ds2 and telling him what to do - hilarious!

Mine are 5 1/2, 4 1/2 and ds3 is almost 2. They dote on number 3, spoil him rotten, and are lost without each other! They did used to fight a lot, but now it's all @I love you', and 'I love you too'... with ds3 running to each of them for a kiss.

Why don't I think the goodwill will survive the school holiday? LOL!

Ah!! Mine will be similar - atm they are 4.3, 2.8 and 10 months. The older two love ds3 and he laughs along with them - it's so lovely to watch! He is just itching to join in and is just starting to stand on his own and he can walk with his toddle truck so it won't be long!!

Katymac, I had a guilt pang when I read your post about TV habits. Ds watches Cbeebies in the mornings while we are going through the shower and getting dressed so he'd be in your 'watches lots of TV for ages' camp. But I'm not sure that's entirely fair - apart from that (7 to 8 but with time taken out for watching bin men/passing lorries/passers-by from the window, fur face and fangs rountine, getting dressed etc.) he doesn't watch TV. The reason he wouldn't strike you as a 'used to TV being on and then switched off' or 'seldom watches hours of telly' is that we don't put videos on for him (apart from occasional footage of a holiday where he got to go on a steam engine, which he loves). I know other families where videos are on all day in the background. The children I'm thinking of play quite happily while the video is on, they don't sit there glued to it, but as soon as one is finished, another goes on. What's so bad about Cbeebies compared to that? Please assuage my guilt!

tweenies video (switched off) a Disney Video (seldom watches hrs of telly) or a thomas/tots TV/Teletubbies (can only concentrate for a few minutes at a time - watches lots of TV for ages)

tweenies video (used to TV being on then switched off) a Disney Video (seldom watches hrs of telly) or a thomas/tots TV/Teletubbies (can only concentrate for a few minutes at a time - watches lots of TV for ages)

oops cut and pasted bit wasn't supposed to happen!

It's not awful or terrible it's just noticable

An hour or so of tv then switched off is great - don't beat you self up (do it with my DD)
However I do see children who can't function without TV in the background and whose attention span is about 3-5 mins (when others of a similar age can concentrate for maybe 10-12 mins). This is because they are trained by the TV to concentrate for such a small amount of time....and it's a nightmare to extend that attention span.

If your DS can concentrate for a suitable amount of time (for his age) then the TV is not a problem.....but the number of mums who say well the only thing he is interested in/concentrates on is the telly.....I think I know why

TV isn't bad....but it also isn't great for hours at a time

At my house between 7.30 and 6 Telly is rarely on (well DH watched the tennis) 'cos I don't beleive I'm paid to turn on the babysitter.

I've had it on twice in the last fortnight on days when it was so hot we could only sit in the lounge and there are no toys....

I feel guilty for saying this but i wish i didn't spend as much time with Ellie as i do now Shes allways with me no matter where i go, even the bathroom!! The only time i get to myself is when she has her naps during the day.... sometimes i wish i had more time to myself but don't get me wrong i do love spending time with her just wish it wasn't as much.

phew! thought I was a candidate for bad mother's club (yet again...) there.

curious though ? why no toys in your sitting room?

I don't care what other people think so am not answering this one.

Though by posting this I must care a little, oh well. Off to glue dds face to the TV again.

'cos i have a 42ft playroom and the lounge is MINE

We dot hat too katmac, kids toys in the playroom (dining room but table in kitchen), lego and books in bedroon, Living Room is OURS!

Stops them staring mindlessly at the TV too, as only one is in Living Room.

I definitely spend more time trying to avoid playing with them than actually playing with them.

I think QOQ has got it right. There's no reason why I should play with cars or be a princess, because I'm no good at it. If my kids want interaction, they can come and fold washing, sweep floors or cook with me.

I read stories whenever they like and I'll also do learning stuff (reading, sums etc).

I do wish I was better at playing. Some grown-ups are great at it aren't they and the kids love it.

TBH as liitle as possible.

Mine play together all the time so i'm just a wiatress suppling refreshments and 3 meals a day.

Katymac... who was your "unplug the TV" comment directed at? If at me, I find it really funny, we don't have a telly, ar ar ar...!

Probably am barking up the wrong tree, though?

It was at Mandymoo 'cos her little one (not yet 3) turns the telly on herself

Unplugged said tv today and all is well in my household!!!

Dior - re running commentary so know what you mean!

pick her up from school club at 5.45 come home, I do dinner etc, then either i or hubby always have 1-2-1 play with her, with Barbies etc (if its me),. her & her dad have their own games that they play together. have often wondered if we are normal or very strange,because nobody else seems to do this. of course, at weekends when she has friends around its different.

Empress- that sounds lovely (just as i imagined it would be with a little one). Just doesnt seem to be enough hours in the day..................

don't count the hours but must admit finding ds "difficult" at the moment.