"In western society, we use sophisticated mockery to diminish the too-devoted parent.

[emkana]

We characterise women as fettishly connected to their babies if they breastfeed openly and for as long as nature intended. We seduce them back to work and the marital bed and proclaim them weak if they put their own needs on hold while attending to those of small children."

(From Deborah Jackson, Baby Wisdom.)

What do you think? Is she right or not?

If everyone who went on the stop the war march wrote to or lobbyed their local MP it might have had more impact. It was a grand gesture but pressure for change needs to happen at a smaller level IMHO.

We all need to do or little bit, but be aware that benevolence is always open to exploitation, certainly by capitalism. Isn't that the nature of real politik?

I wrote to my local MP. He didn't respond to me and he voted for the war.

I did email him though - perhaps he's a luddite.

Even so, sadly the campaign probably would have been more successful if a few leading business types were on board. They can persuade the PM to do anything

I regularly write to my MP - he's a complete waste of space who seems to think that sending me half a rainforest of pre-printed crap explaining why they aren't going to listen to the likes of me with a one sentence covering letter is good enough.

It's not really surprising that there's political apathy among an increasing number of people. Spin is more important than people.

it is truly truly depressing that we all feel that there is no point in trying to change anything because the govt or local mps don't listen. And the problaby don't. Its enough to make we want to leave the country. mind you probably Sweden won't have us...

My local MP is great. But he is one of the "usual suspects".

Gabriel Burne??

..Is he Keyser Soze?

Imagine if everybody voted for the minority parties on election day???

They don´t listen when we march or write... so perhaps a tick against the majority would have more effect.

Of course the breaking the tradition of monologue majority voting is like trying to take the testosterone / estrogen makeup out of humanities structure ... but imagine huh?

the hippy generation thought that non-voting would change things but discovered non-participation did not work.

oh and while I am at it a MNetter said recently on a thread regarding a baby rearing author female was quoted in the
THE GUARDIAN, saying that all women who breastfed their children over the age of two were doing it for their own emotional needs.

Deborah Jackson, to me, seems to be referrring to male sophisticated mockery in emkana´s opening post- but as I think you are all saying... its not just a male slanted wave of repression.

I'd still have to vote Labour I'm afraid. I didn't agree with the war but I do agree with many other positions. Hoping Gordon will come on board sooner, rather than later.

I'm actually terrified that politics will become fixated with single issues like it is in the States. The media seem to be pushing for it though.

Excuse me if I take liberties and play with language MT!! but you said ´I'd still have to vote Labour I'm afraid´. I thought last night but did not post about fear of voting anything else but the majority. My dh said he heard that voting for the minority has been called´the lost vote´.

So many people of many countries are familar with the two party vote and ignore the rest. Whilst I recognise some of them represent fringe policies or beliefs - greater representation would I think be beneficial. I do like the Swiss political system which is politically diverse and the public voice is heard more.

I guess for me pro-war, intervention etc turns me off 100% for voting for any party.

Will another kiss make it better?

is that seductive diversion?

alright then

move to Wales and vote Plaid Cymru, Papillon!

100% anti-war, sound social policies.

i didn't know till recently that women didn't get the vote in Switzeraland till 1972. What is that all about?

wow! didn't know that either.... how strange

Yes, it is true... rather a complicated matter in which I am not fully versed. But I think it was because a couple of Cantons (regions) had not ratified it or agreed to it... until there was unified support women did not get the vote until 1972.

NZ 1893 - they were stanch the girlies down there! (i am kiwi)

Even in 1971 in central and eastern Switzerland there was still seven cantons with a no-majority on a vote for the frau!!

timeline of CH women voting journey

We get percieved in so many different ways depending on the latest trends! If you read any article about a "teenage tearaway" then it will either say "single parent family" or "parents both at work" or "latch key kid" blah blah. We can't do anything right in the eyes of the media & sometimes, our peers!

I work in a pub, 2 evenings a week while DH is at home with DD. When I first started one of the regulars asked me what I did during the day, to which I replied I was a SAHM. He said "oh, so I pay for you to sit on your ar** all day do I?"
To which I replied "No, My husband works to enable me to stay at home & raise our daughter in the manner that we want her raised in & you work all day so you can sit on your ar** and drink it all away"
I must say that he was more than a little shocked at my reply.

What business it was of his anyway, I don't know, but why assumne that just because I don't have a full time job that I don't have somebody to provide for me! Society tends to jump on whatever latest bandwagon it likes!

Can´t find anything in English but there was an article earlier in the year in a Swiss magazine all about the growing trend, number of men who marry non-swiss. Alot find the swiss men find swiss woman too strongwilled for their tastes!! This BBC article says in one Thai village that ´of the 540 households in Baan Jarn, at least 100 can boast a foreign son-in-law, almost invariably living in Switzerland.´!! this

LOL good response MM!!

Hi
New to Mumsnet, hope you're all friendly!

I agree that SAHMs are somewhat isolated by society, as if not working outside the home makes you something of an outsider who only has things in common with other SAHMs! Also, I get the feeling that some people think you have a blast all day just sitting around drinking coffee or sunbathing in the park while other people do 'real' work. Not with a one-year-old and a two-year-old! My nerves are shot! My mother-in-law came round and said "so what do you do all day??" I was going to tell her but couldn't see her for the steam coming out my ears...

cordoroyangel - welcome - and respect! I have a ten month old and people ask me the same thing - and you have two ! before i got pregnant i really didn't know what SAHMs did either, and didn't envisage being one, so there you go.

Hi CA! Can't be sure but I think this thread might of ran out of steam...Didn't want you to experience 'thread killer' paranoia before your time. (but when you do, don't worry - it happens to us all!)

Have you guys heard of a book called "what mothers do when it looks like they are doing nothing" (or something along those lines..) Apparently its really good.

And how come if you employ a nanny or childminder then looking after children is a full time job but do it yourself and you are sitting around all day drinking coffee?? Grrr. Sorry haven't read the thread so am probably repeating what everyone else has said.