3 under 4 - talk to me about dinner/ bath/ bed please

[LetThemEatCake]

I've just had a rather trying session and am looking for inspiration. I'm generally solo in the evenings and have dcs aged 3y7m, 2y3m and 5m.

BF dc3 on sofa while dcs1&2 play or watch a half hour of tv while the dinner cooks/ cools

dinner on tale btwn 5 and 5,30. Dc1 is a slow eater and it can sometimes take a while (and a bit of ) DC3 is also just starting weaning so I'm kind of stretched between helping/ encouraging/ feeding the 3 of them

dcs 1&2 have a bit of a play while I tidy up/ sweep/ clear table. dc3 watches from chair

mugs of milk and stories (usually 3 books)

upstairs for bath. dc 1 & 2 in together while dc3 lies on change mat on floor. Teeth brushed in bath. Pull out plug - they stay until empty to listen for "the bath monster" (ie the gurgling plughole) who comes after children who aren't properly clean. I start to refill bath while giving dc1&2 a rough towel dry.

They then run off naked to their room to play and air-dry while I bathe dc3

all 3 in the bedroom together. I check properly dry, talc where needed, everyone in PJs. DCs 1&2 (who share a room) into bed

I then do "story from your head mama" - they tell me what 'ingredients' they want the story to have tonight (eg a dragon, a goblin and a bicycle") and I have to make up a reasonably lengthy story on the spot. If dc3 starts crying, I'll walk up ad down with him to soothe while story telling

then a song, then kisses, cuddles and "snuggly bugs" (a certain way of tucking them in". Lights are usually off by about 7.30pm.

then downstairs to feed dc3 to sleep, which is what I'm doing now. Once he's asleep, I'll clear up kitchen, maybe think about dinner for dh and I (maybe not) sort out laundry etc

It's all a bit knackering, esp when things go slowly and dc3 is screaming for a feed but I'm still supervising the bath.

any inspiration out there?

Well that sounds bloody impressive to me!

The only things I would suggest is to quickly dunk the baby in and out of the bigger ones bathwater? Also you don't have to bath them every night. Nobody will hink you're slacking if you don't and the children almost certainly won't smell.....

It sounds knackering!
We have 3 DC and only bath them twice a week. Nobody's ever complained that they smell.
Also could you give the oldest two a choice between getting a story or singing, so you can get away quicker?

but do you clean them some other way on the non-bath nights?

ok there is no need to run the baby a separate bath. I chuck mine all in together, or sometimes the eldest wants a bath by himself to play with his submarine so i do the 2 smaller ones, and then while i dry and pyjama them ds1 has his bath.

I tend to try and feed ds3 to sleep while reading stories to the older 2. they have to be in their beds for stories, or playing quietly on the floor in their room

i also don't abth them every night. maybe once or twice a week. the other nights they just get a flannel over face and hands.

you sound like a really fab mum, i am slightly jealous of you!!! and it will get easier as they get older.

We also all eat the same meal, so I tend to eat with the children and dp heats his up when he gets in if he isn't back in time, that means i only have one meal to cook instead of 2 and frees up a bit of the evening.
dp also is in charge of cleaning the kitchen each evening (after he's had dinner and had a sit down)

Sounds like a tight ship to me. The only time saving tips I can come up with are cut down the 3 stories to 1 and dunk the baby in the bath with the older dc's.

I prefer to bath my child every night, it is part of her routine and she knows it is nearly bedtime etc. I don't like the thought of not bathing her, especially in the summer as although children don't smell as such after rummaging around in the garden/park/beach etc she is pretty mucky.

Hi LTEC,

Only two DC here as you know - but even with two we don't have baths every day. Every other day is fine. Face and hands washed obviously but don't even do anything else.

Dinner, milk and a story seems to be quite enough to wind them down.

see, I was just dunking the baby in with the others every few nights but it was a bit hectic with the 3 of them, esp as dc2 is slightly rambunctious and er. affectionate with the baby.

I've stepped baby up to every night now bc he's started eating - so food crusted in neck fold etc, plus he's started pooing every day as opposed to every 2-3 days when he was bf exclsuively

my dcs get very mucky - we're outside a lot and I do think they need a bath every day. Before, on the days when bub didn;t have a bath, I was sometimes just showering them. I was also previously just dunking baby in their bath water after they got out, but they're not a short time in there and it is a bit cold ... plus there's probably wee and certainly toothpaste in there!!

Oh yes - of course actual dirt should be washed off and some children love a bath every night. It's just not something you have to do if you are knackered and have non grubby bairns. I do face and hands on non bath nights.

Blimey LTEC - you are much better on the story front than me. Here's what happens here with ds1(5y7m), ds2(2y2m) and dd(7m).

• 4pm in from school and I get on with dinner prep with DD watching from high chair
• ds's off playing either outside or playroom
• 5'ish dinner - boys feed themselves and dd has quite a lot of finger food and some stuff I feed her
• try to load dishwasher whilst dc's finish eating and have trained eldest to clear table/set table etc
• then all into sitting room for feed for DD and bit of tv for ds's
• then upstairs at 6ish for baths. I do DD first in very shallow bath and then plonk the boys in after - their baths are quick in the week as like you am generally on my own with them.
• ds's then wander round in dressing gowns/get pj's on whilst I feed DD and put her to bed - she's normally in bed by 6.30pm
• then into boys room (they share) check teeth done, pj's on and then stories

On a good night they're all in bed by 7pm but sometimes its later. Bath times are pretty dull in the week as its just a matter of getting them clean/checking for nits etc.

It is hard work though and I do quite dread the dinner/bath/bed stuff.

I also try wherever possible to cook stuff that I can utilise for DH and I later. Although its actually easier in some ways when DH is away as its one less person to cook for.

Yours are all very little though where as my eldest is very good at doing stuff for himself and to help me.

i've always found one bath for 3 of them easier than washing. Dc2 &3 are dirt magnets.

As others say one story and one teatime.
I put the other 2 in the bath and dunk dc3 whilst theyre in their then sort him out while they play. Then put him in his cot with mobile on while sorting out other 2.

Story for all 3 together.

But you sound very organised anyway!

i did this
all in bath
baby in bed first
ds2 plays in room
ds1 goes back to wathc tv

and do a proper book

Firstly, bloody hell that is impressive!

Secondly, how about bath the baby first (so he gets the clean water then you can be getting him dry and in jammies while DC 1&2 are in the bath.

Then...stories for the biggest DC while you feed DC3. Start using proper books most nights and saving 'head stories' for the weekend. At least with books there is a defined end whereas with head stories you can be tricked encouraged into making them go on and on and on

It WILL get easier as they get bigger and can start 'helping out'

Your routine sounds fab - am slightly envious of the 'head stories' - may/not introduce to my lot - though as heymammy said only at the weekend!

When the DT's were little like your DC3 - they would go in the bath first, then DS & DD1 together afterwards. I'd dress the DT's whilst big two in bath. Then get them out - do teeth/pjs etc in bathroom - they then went to their rooms to 'read' quietly - whilst I fed DT's put them down.

Then would read DS & DD1 their stories -have a chat about our day - then bed.

Now they are all a little older - DS (6) likes to have his bath after the girls so he can play properly, he then pops his pj's on and goes downstairs for his story/book/'late night - until 7 .

I do all the girls at the same time now, get the younger two out do teeth/pj's etc then DD1 (3.9), she will then read stories to DD2 (16 mths) whilst (still with me here!) I'm settling DD3!

They do get a bath everynight as it's part of their bedtime routine - to them it signals quiet(er) time - though I seem to get just as wet as they all do!

It sounds like you have a good routine already. Tbh even if you tweak it, its still going to stressful as thats just small children - not predictable!
I've only got 2 kids, but I did find it a lot easier to dunk the baby in the bath first rather than running 2 baths. Then you can feed baby while the other 2 are playing in the bath and then let him watch while you wash hair etc. Have you got a bumbo seat? They are very good for babies who are frustrated at lying down and want to see more but cant sit up yet!

Wow.

I am really struggling with this part of the day at the moment, and my two are 6 and 5 months!

What I don't get is, whilst all the routines described here sound great on paper, the reality is somewhat less predictable with such small children, is it not?

ie. what I mean is - I think the OP's routine sounds wonderful, and she could certainly teach me a thing or 2.

BUT, what happens if baby is crying for a feed before older 2 are even in the bath?

What happens if at the end of all this, baby won't settle until gone 10pm and you still haven't had a chance to say hello to dp never mind sit down and eat tea?

What happens if baby never slept well at afternoon nap and so is miserable as sin and demanding constant attention before this whole routine even starts?

These are the kind of issues I am facing nearly every day at the moment.

LetThemEatCake - if your routine goes as smoothly as it seems, I am amazed and impressed. Don't think I am really cut out for this parenting lark!

singingangel, you have to be a bit heartless to get through the evening.

In the early days for us I had my tea with baby on lap - although tried to get him in chair at 5 mo. (depended on mood)
If dh isnt there, tea could be egg and chips or something easy - nothing that involved standing over the cooker!

Usually lo did want attention at bathtime but either they have to wait for 10 min or gets in bath and has to get on with it until able to feed and read story. As I said bit heartless but older dc have needs too.

Dp has to look after himself and make you tea and supper if its a bad one.

Ds3 has never really gone for afternoon nap, he's a morning nap baby. In fact if i leave him too long he wont sleep unless I put him in the pram and walk him to sleep. which is no good because thats my sit down gone for the day.

If you are persistent they do eventually get the message that this is what happens.
It does get better!