Tell me about how second babies are easier than the first

[MamaLazarou]

DS is 6 weeks old, and I'd like to get cracking on #2 right away (as I'm already on a career break, and getting a bit old - it took us 2 yrs to conceive DS). DH is not keen - it was a difficult pregnancy and birth, and we have found it quite tough. He wonders how on Earth we'd cope with two, but isn't the second one supposed to be easier?

I'm pg with babyno2 and DS will be 3yo next month and there's no way (regardless of my age!) that I'd be getting pg any sooner than when DS was 2yo. It's tough but I know it would be even tougher with two under 2yo (IMHO). I get help from relatives throughout the week because I'm exhausted at certain points during the day in this pregnancy.

Totally agree with tryingtoleave re "having two children wanting your attention is very stressful. I found that all the things that are enjoyable with one child become hard work with two. The year after my first was born was the best year of my life; the year after my second was born was the hardest."

Found being pregnant and having a toddler harder than having a baby and a toddler. My toddler was so lovely wiht the baby it made it all pretty easy. Once DS was 6 months they played together so much they needed a lot less attention than one child. I now have three and they are a great little gang. Friends with one wonder how I do it - I wonder how they do it. The more the merrier - and the more they give each other attention so you can do othe stuff without feling neglectful. That it my experience - not universal. But I'd give yourself some time to enjoy your new little one first. Good luck with whatever feels right for you.

On the plus side, you will get the early baby years out of the way much quicker and in the future, will get your own life back earlier.
On the minus side, these early baby years will quite likely be hell on earth.

Your baby is 6 weeks old and still spends their time either feeding or sleeping. Wait 6 months and you will be wondering how to entertain this now awake child, then starting the spoonfeeding, then potty training etc. Doing all that when pg or with a newborn in tow will very likely be very hard (although the odd mum may thrive on it, most will struggle through).
So as a mum of 2, I would suggest as most above, enjoy your your baby first before you make plans for the second.

Depends how you look at it. Having 2 very little ones is a lot of donkey work initially, but later on they could be excellent playmates with the small age gap. I had just under 2 years between my first 2 - I thing it was actually harder when they were 1 and almost 3 than when dc2 was newborn, because I was having to deal with 2 personalities for the first time, dc2 starting to nick all of dc1's stuff etc. But by ages 4 and 2 it was great, they could play together properly.

However dc2 was a good sleeper at night (batteries in during the day though!) which I know makes a HUGE difference.

The general advice seems to be: it will be really hard work! This is true, but don't be too put off - I had 2 under 2 and the delight of it is they are so close in age and quite adorable together (despite jealousies etc). Also, the quicker you have them, the sooner you'll get that long night's sleep (about 10 years).

sorry no, DD angel baby perfect in every way, DS more challenging! But if you are getting older (you didn't saw how old) and it took a while to conceive the first AND if you can afford help if you do get pregnant quickly (do you have space for au pair?) then go for it!

Bitter and twisted mummy on 2nd baby with reflux so it's going to be moany!!

Right, first of all my DD is 12 weeks. Up to 6 weeks I too was walking on air and full of shit the joys of spring.

Number 3 was being quietly planned unbeknown to DH!

Then she started screaming and screaming and screaming. Another 6 weeks on and I'd rather have a limb removed than have another baby. Ok, I have been plaqued with reflux again - it's a bit like colic but instead of screaming all evening they scream day and night and instead of it lasting 3 months it lasts a year. These amatuers with babies with colic - pussy's!

All im saying is - babies change. My DS was a dream until 3 months, then all hell broke loose. These things are common

whensmydayoff tosses head back with deep evil laugh

Pregnancy No 2 - Oh my word. Don't do it so soon please. Your body hasn't even began to build up it's stores and repair from the first, If your body has to do a second PG now you will cease to enjoy the little bundle you have now - trust me.

Get to know your DC. I loved the time I had just me and DS and it will be treasured forever as some of my happiest memories. We did so much together and I miss him now
IYSWIM.

Once a second comes along it changes it forever in that...you can't just think, oh it's a nice day, will go for a walk/have a coffee somewhere - forget it. 2 bubs with different needs and schedules, you've not got time to take the pram! I cant take DD to swimming lessons until DS goes to nursery in Aug. I can't do alot of things I hadn't thought about so as I said, I treasure the time I had as mum of 1.

Don't get me wrong, Im looking forward to enjoying both of them - just so soon would kind of take away the joy of No 1. You'll be too busy hurling/crying/sleeping and generally feeling knackered to enjoy this precious time. At least wait 6 months a year.

And as for hormones - pah ha....they throw alot more in for a second PG - Im a luny

Wow, some very honest and valuable advice here! Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply (some of you have really made me chortle!).

I think I'm going to wait a few months and think about it again.

Ironically enough, DH has started to say he fancies another one now...!