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DS (11) gets on better with girls ...

2 replies

Enchilada81 · 04/03/2010 14:02

I remember when DS was 3 and started nursery he had no male friends but plenty of female friends. I thought it would change as he got older.

Then as a 5/6/7 year old, he continued making friends with girls and becomming more isolated from the boys. He doesn't like football, rugby ... or any sport really. No interest in cars or anything like that. BUT ... he'd quite happily play "imaginary" games with the girls for hours.

I used to worry but not so much now.

Thing is, he's now 11. He's sensible, quiet, hardworking ... bit of a teachers pet really and a self confessed nerd (he likes this name for himself, says its another way of calling him intelligent lol). All of his friends are STILL girls.

Ok, so he does communicate with boys now, has been back for tea to a few lads houses etc but whenever I spot him at school he's always surrounded by girls.

His teacher told me the girls are getting to that "catty" age where they're quite nasty to each other and they all tend to go to DS to spill out their problems. DS gets quite stressed and tries in vane to sort things out for them which often gets him shouted at and told to stop interfering.

He told me he didn't want to go to an all boys school as his friends always tend to be girls.

Is this likely to continue all through secondary school? he starts in september. Will he miss male companionship? He has a much older friend (14) who seems pretty similar. Always surrounded by girls. But he does play rugby etc so he gets the companionship that way.

Am I worrying over nothing?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
webwiz · 04/03/2010 15:41

My DS is 13 now and has always got on very well with girls - he's quite sensible and hardworking and seems quite mature for his age so I think sometimes he is more on the same wavelength as the girls. Also he has two older sisters so he is quite comfortable around girls. He does have friends who are boys as well and he isn't averse to long conversations about the xbox. He chooses to walk to school with a group of girls because they don't try to push each other into the hedges like the boys do.

Sometimes the girls do tell him their friendship problems but he has no idea what they are talking about half the time and just listens. He said "How can L say she is F's friend when she just talks about her behind her back all the time?" me and DD2 just laughed because although he has girls as friends he has no idea about the nuances of female friendship

My eldest DD(18) prefers the company of boys and finds them more straightforward than girls. I did worry about this for a while when she was younger but she just seems happier being one of the lads.

sysobi · 04/03/2010 20:54

My DS 8.5 has always been friends with girls mostly or quieter boys. He doesn't like football or other team sports. Otherwise he is very active. He is not quiet at all and behaves more like a girl ;-) He gossips with the girls at school, falls out etc. His older brother 10 is a typical boy, loves football, team sports. He likes playing with girls as he is very imaginative and he talks a lot and he can't really talk a lot with his brother ;-) I have noticed that most boys would rather play football or run around than sit and talk.

He likes girlish things, plays with both dolls and cars. Loves high heels(!!) and skirts and would happily wear those if we let him.
I try not too worry but don't really know what to think as I don't want him to get hurt later on in life.
Anyone else with a similar worry?

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