how do i go from co sleeping, bf to sleep, to sleeping in cot in 3 easy steps?

[StealthPolarBear]

DD is 6 months. If I try to put her down she just gets angrier and angrier and more awake. Shushing & patting doesn't seem to help.

hiya stealth. I'm going to lurk - my 10m dd is co-sleeping, WAS bf to sleep (seems to have recently decided she doesn't like that), fights me if I hold her, screams like fury if I put her down. Three times a day. I be all wore out. And mebbe a little FED UP.

well I've just dug out the old cot mobile, which she seems to like in a oooh toys and music, not a oooh sleepy sleepy sleeeeeepy way, but it's worth another go
You sound exhausted - are you all healthy now?

I am all healthy, thanks, but knackered - dd's sleep is unsettled, ds has been having nightmares, dd's been doing poos at 3 and 4 am , she's super whingy/clingy during day (because, goddammit, she STILL can't walk and why do I insist on standing round in the kitchen when she's got a corridor to patrol??!) and, well, she's a big healthy girl so when she's fighting me about bedtime I am getting quite pummeled. And kicked. And struggling to hang on as she throws herself about. And conks me with her big fat heavy head. And yells. It's disheartening, is all. And exhausting. She's very charming otherwise

I don't think there are 3 easy steps unless you want to do something like controlled crying. It should be possible if you are willing to try something that will take longer though.

Some suggestions, do one step at a time (these are not in order), adapt/discard to your own preference:

• Try the pantley pull-off to reduce feeding to sleep.
• Try moving her once she is asleep into the cot so that she wakes up there - best for naps, if she wakes in the night looking for you. (If she wakes when moving her try getting her to sleep on a thick blanket or cot quilt and then pick the blanket up by the corners to move her - you may need 2 people to do it smoothly)
• Play in the cot during the day so it becomes a safe space
• Attach cot to the side of your bed and try to keep her in that area, then put the side back on, but right next to your bed, then move away from your bed, then into own room.
• Roll over when you get near the end of a feed so she thinks you have gone to sleep.
• Don't feed her straight away at night, pretend to be asleep for a few mins to see if she settles herself
• Think about introducing a dummy
• Put her in the cot on her side or tummy (only if she can roll from tummy to back)

Have you tried sitting by the cot and wobbling/rocking it gently?

thank you - I'll try some of those, especially the blanket one TBH I don't mind feeding to sleep as long as I can then put her down, my op was maybe a bit misleading.
I don't want to do CC, you're right

LooLoo, that might work, as I can get her to sleep in her car seat like that sometimes. Problem is she has a cot bed, no removable side, and couldn't rock it without muscles of steel
Unless I shoved a book under opposite legs - but then it'd be unstable
Have already tried raising it with books

I have gone from cosleeping/BFing to sleep to sleeping in cot in own room with 3 DDs now.

I did it later though at around a year as by that time I knew it was habit to wake and want boob not food related.

What we did was cold turkey, BF to sleep at 8pm as normal, then put in own cot, at first waking, Daddy went to them, I am completely out the picture and room so no chance of boob, Daddy sat with them, shhed them, patted them. Never left alone to cry, finally after about 30 mins they would fall back asleep, repeat as many times as necessary.

First night is always tough but after that it got easier so second night would be like 5 mins of sshing, third night they were sleeping through.

I tried NCSS pull off technique with DD2 never worked and I think she would completely refuse a dummy at this age as well.

thank you - might try that, think DH would be up for that
I don't need her to sleep through necessarily (although it would be nice ) but I remember DS waking for one or two feeds, and I'd just feed him, put him back in cot and back to bed - usually within 20 mins! I didn't mind that.
Don't really want to introduce a dummy - DS had one and it was about now (7/8 months) he got rid of it. Don't fancy trying to get rid of it when they're older.

I don't know if it would work on a 6 mo, I did it as I didn't want to feed in the night anymore and at a year they really didn't need it.

well I'm thinking I bf to sleep and then DH takes her upstairs and puts her in her cot - he's also a bit more patient with the incredibly slow putting down
Through the night, just have to see I suppose. Don't mind her coming back into our bed in the early hours of the morning.
Anyway, weaning starts soon, then she'll sleep through. Where's that laughing coming from???

Thing is once you allow them in your bed at all they expect it, they don't know that 9pm is not on but 3am is IYSWIM. That's why you have to do the whole cold turkey thing IMHO, take boob off the menu altogether at night.

Weaning ha ha ha ha did nothing at all for my last two sorry. Could you suffer it for another 3 months until she's 9 months, a bit older won't need night feeds at all and is taking a fair bit of food during the day

DS went through a period of coming into our bed at 4/5ish so I'm hoping that will work out- just have to see. Maybe I'll have one of those easy babies that sleeps 7-7
I don't really feel comfortable stopping offering feeds during the night, again this is probably down to DS who ate so little that he really needed it. Definietly going to try the daddy putting to bed thing and see what happens from there. Recently she's gone to 3/4am, and once until 5.40 - I could cope with any time after about 4.30 even if it's getting up time.

That's why I waited until a year because I think at 6 months some babies do still need milk in the night especially if not eating a lot of food.

It was funny DD3's food intake tripled overnight when I stopped feeding her in the night.

Going to 4.30 ish is good IME, my last two would wake about 5 times in the night for a feed. I also have a bedside cot so have a little more space in the bed although some of the time my bum was in it and madam would be sprawled out in the middle.

Well, just asked the HV (the young one, not the older "let em cry" one) and she said very similar to what's on this thread

-cot to play during the day
-put her in cot when sleepy but awake and sit with her until she's asleep
-be consistent!

wish me luck!

We skipped the cot. At less than 6 months, we bought a full size single mattress which goes directly on the floor in DS's room. I changed to breastfeeding DS to sleep in his own bed, then sneeking out once he was asleep. Evening with OH, then we go to bed without children.

I often go in with DS to resettle him in the night, and regularly fall back to sleep in his bed. It works for us at the moment.

ooh that'ds a thought, if i get nowhere

am too dingdang tired to imagine trying any of these, let alone making them work. they're taking it in turns to wake me up all freaking night and early morning.

clearly am going to have to discuss with dh about taking some of these calls. when he gets back.