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Parenting

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Having 3rd child against partners wishes?

14 replies

Tigermax · 02/03/2010 19:35

I've seen a few threads where couples aren't in agreement over whether to have more children. I really want a third child and I know my partner doesn't. We have't talked about more chilren since dc2 because I know I will be so sad to actually hear him say he doesn't want a third and I feel as though my choice will be taken away from me. But if I were to get pg again before we've actually had the discussion... well, lets just say I'm tempted... My dh has no idea I feel this way and I think he would be pretty shocked if he knew I would even consider getting pg without discussing it with him first. Before we had children we were quite set on having two. Anyone been in same situation? Anyone actually got pregnant without first discussing the possibility with dh? How did you get on?

OP posts:
LadyintheRadiator · 02/03/2010 19:37

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MamaGisNFI · 02/03/2010 19:37

don't do it. Having a child is such a big deal, it wold be horribly wrong of you to do this

pagwatch · 02/03/2010 19:38

terrible, terrible thing to consider.
Don't do it

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BessieBoots · 02/03/2010 19:39

I am in the same situation as you. but I have to say I couldn't do this to DH. He needs to trust you for you to be able to have a good relationship, you owe that to your two DCs.
Just talk to him!

roslily · 02/03/2010 19:41

I am in a similar position, in that we have one ds (6 months) and I would like another child in the future. My dh is adamant that he only wants one. So we don't talk about it, otherwise I get too upset.

I have considered an accident, but don't think it would be fair.

Batteryhuman · 02/03/2010 19:44

Don't have an accident. Do talk to your DH and then be patient. It took 7 years before my DH turned round and suggested that it might not be such a bad idea after all....

MrsPixie · 02/03/2010 19:46

I knew someone who got PG by her Partner by "accident" wink wink.

She is now a single mum

As someone said having a child is a huge thing, you are nuts if you do that to your DH, think of the resentment and guilt.

harecare · 02/03/2010 19:51

Roslily =My dp was adamant that 1 was enough until dd1 was about 18 months. It was a real gift when he suggested we give dd1 a sibling. Keep quiet and hold on, he may change his mind.

Loopymumsy · 02/03/2010 20:16

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Tigermax · 02/03/2010 20:40

I suppose I wasn't really thinking of outright lying. More along the lines of having an accident and hoping he'd come round to it ...(hmmm any difference?). You've all just confirmed what I knew all along. It's sneaky and dishonest. Not like me at all really. What do I do about these bloody hormones though? I just feel like my family isn't complete and have started getting awful broody and a bit obsessed.

OP posts:
LadyintheRadiator · 02/03/2010 21:02

This reply has been deleted

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littlebylittle · 03/03/2010 13:45

don't lie. it'll backfire. my dh has just agreed to third. was reluctant but has agreed once he'd come to a place where he knew he wouldn't resent it or me and would parent full on as with the other two. otherwise I'd have had to have lived with it. Too risky otherwise

elgreco · 03/03/2010 21:14

I know two families that have disintegrated when the mother decided to have another child against their husbands' wishes. You'd be mad to do it.

lovechoc · 04/03/2010 12:59

I'd say don't do it and be happy with the two DC you have together - it could be worse, you could have no children at all.

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