Is it PND? If so what can the Doc possibly do apart from meds?

[whensmydayoff]

My DH and mum keep nagging me to see the Doc as they think (and im starting to think) i have PND.

I have 2.9 yr old DS and a 11 week old DD. DD has terrible silent reflux and is so hard. She screams day and night. She needs held all the time, she wants to feed constanly which makes the reflux worse but thinks it soothes her. Wont take a dummy and just lives to breast feed. The people round here who get a smile from her is my boobs!

Im hating every second of it and I feel pissed off because my DS had reflux too which was hard but nothing like this. She will no doubt be my last as im not chancing another baby with reflux but im missing out on her. I want her to be 6 months old ASAP so I can get her on solids and off my breasts!!

She is a beautiful little baby and I know im going to regret wishing her away. Im actually jealous at baby groups. I see mums with happy baby's and they tell me what they are like and I feel angry inside.

Why can I lie her in a pram and take her for a walk. Why cant I just put her down on a playmat or in her bouncy chair without it causing her pain. Why can't she stop screaming just for one whole hour so I can relax and enjoy her like all these relaxed happy mums?

Im crying alot. I fly off the handle at the least thing which is not like me and have had a few hysterical moments where I seem to be loosing my mind and DS has been present and it's effecting him.. I don't seem to get over the slightest little thing, I dwell and mope about it. Sometimes I feel so low and withdrawn but then I seem fine the next day which is why im not sure if it's just the situation as opposed to PND.

The thing is, ive been to doc's loads about her reflux and not one of them asked if I was ok even though Ive been crying to them about her at times. They must think it's just the situation too.

I really dont want to go on medication so what is the point in going then?

DH made me make the appointment this morning but I feel so stupid going.

Have you tried going dairy free at all? Could this be part of her problem?

I did for about 8 days and when she was getting worse by the day I started to question the point. I then spoke to Paed at Hospital and he said I was wasting my ytime as this was only the case for a fraction of people. I keep hearing conflicting opinions on this though.

I just thought there would be even a tiny bit improvement but nothing. She doesn't react badly to te formula either and the doc said she would prob be showing other signs of allergy by now.

Back to me grilling you about formula.....Even though your DS was screaming after - did he scream and pull off the bottle during?

I have just finished feeding DD, it started at 6 and Ive just finished (nearly 8) and im not convinced she got much with all the arching, pulling and screaming. She couldn't settle on my breast for even 10 seconds. DH now walking the flkoor with her screaming.....this is why Im wondering if she'd at least be able to drink the milk from a bottle even if it means walking the floor for hours after - we are anyway!

Are you just convinced formula caused more discomfort?

Just thinking back to your original post, you obviously have supportive dh and mum who are worried about you which is great.

In practical terms maybe you could think about what they could do to help? Obviously I don't know if you have PND or not, but I remember when mine were babies thinking I probably seemed like I had PND to other people when I was just so knackered and stressed!

I know it's difficult to think straight, but if possible try and think about what are the most difficult parts of your day in practical terms and who could help eg. if you're finding it difficult to get to the supermarket because baby wont settle can you order online? can someone agree to go once a week for you if you write them a list? Or maybe someone take ds to toddler group for you so he's not missing out (maybe a friend who would be taking their child anyway)?

I know it can be hard to ask, but if you can get the day to day help for 6 months might be enough to cope?

Good luck

Thanks Rosiejoy, my DH is brilliant. He usually gets home at 4.30pm (only last few weeks it's been 5.30pm because he is working far afield).
He comes straight into the thick of things and helps with kids, cooking, housework until we are both ready to drop.

My mum is in the next street and works even closer only in the mornings. To be honest, she's not doing what I might do if it was my DD but she comes for her lunch on a wednesday and looks after DS one afternoon a week. This week I must look really stressed because she has offered to have him Fri and Monday for lunch. Again, Im lucky.

I have also met a lovely group of mum friends but your right, it's hard to ask.
It's nice to have their company though.

I feel ok today and I even found myself laughing at DD, she always lets out a long scream before a sneeze which is hilarious at 11 weeks old, I then thought oh, im laughing i must be ok!

I think If I wasn't having this hellish time with feeding and screaming I would be fine so probably not PND then.

Could you try her on soya formula instead of Aptimil? If it gave any improvement you'd be able to get it free on prescription.

Also if desperate, there's a home food intolerance kit called Food Detective for about £50 - google it to order one. You have to do a pinprick to get a drop of blood but you get the result in 10mins. Would clear your mind on the dairy score because it's always bugging to think that maybe it's something that simple.

gladio tempting but scary. Where would I do it to her - her thumb?

Before DS was put on omeprazole, we had about 3 weeks when feeding him was nearly impossible. He was fully FF at the time I think. Yes, he would pull off the bottle after 1 or 2oz, start screaming the place down. He would stop breathing, I had to blow in his face or tilt him backwards and forward for him to catch a breath. Everytime I had to feed him, my legs were shaking like jelly and I ended up sweating It was awful. He would then scream for about 40 minutes before I could even attempt giving him the rest of the bottle. I didn't know at the time that it was reflux. I started reading up about it after some very helpful mumsnetters suggested it. I really think MN saved my sanity...

As for what Gladio is suggesting, I am not sure if allergy tests are reliable in babies that young. I read somewhere that they can give false positive or false negative results. (I may be wrong of course. Maybe you could ask on the Allergies thread?) Our paed says that CMP allergy/ intolerance is more common than people think and that the best way of confirming it or otherwise is trying elimination diet/ special formula.
Interestingly, in Poland, where I come from, there are plenty of babies on Nutramigen/ Neocate - I think far more than here. I took my DS to see a paed there - the guy was the head of the neonatal ward at the local hospital - he took one look at DS's skin and said "I take it he is cow milk protein intolerant?". Nobody in the UK had even suggested it to us before.

Sorry for rambling!

whensmydayoff, Will definitely ask about those drugs when she finally sees the consultant. Not sure if this helps, but I breastfed my DD for the first 6wks of her life. She constantly screamed during these feeds and for ages after. Whilst she was still putting on weight, I didnt feel she was getting much milk. Initially we thought it was just colic as opposed to reflux because she didnt actually vomit that much at that point (I think it was just a case of not getting enough milk to vomit on!)

Anyway long story short, when we switched totally to lactose free milk, the screaming stopped in just over 12 hours. She still didnt love milk or down her bottles and every bottle was a bit of a battle but at least the screaming stopped. (however then the vomiting started lol we can never win!) Dont know if this was because she was lactose intolerant or not (she was showing some signs.) But it may work for you. I expressed for a number of days to make sure that it wasnt just a fluke. But it did help. Wish I had got her stools tested at the time though, cause now im afraid to give her diary in case it flares up.

PS she still vomits even though she is being fed solids. However she does really enjoy her solids. There is a lovely fragrant aroma in our house called puke! Sofa and carpet in living room need replaced asap.

The kit is just an intolerance test, it's just a snapshot of what might (or might not) be irritating her. Tests for dozens of different things, some of which might not even be in formula, who knows there could be something surprising and easily changed in your diet that comes through BM. Fair chance it might not or that the test is not accurate but it might give you a direction to look in. Elimination diets are so hit and miss and hard work.

Heel probably, it's just like the heelprick test at birth, takes a second.

get some counselling for pnd rather than meds.

then get some bifidabacterium infantis powder and take it yourself to pass through the breastmilk to help with reflux and give up dairy

Would she have not reacted badly to us giving her formula the last few nights if she was intolerent?

There's been no difference in her except I notice she hasn't had a dirty nappy last few days which is probably the change as opposed to intollerence.

I hope not anyway, I will look for any changes in her over the next week. Im sure the formula will make things worse if she is.

hi sorry for late reply, are you feeling any better? the tablets i took are called fluoxetine.they are really really good.i started taking them end of Oct, and stopped just before the new year.dont think i had a severe case of pnd, just couldnt see a way out of the dark clouds so to speak!i'm not a fan of meds but would definetly recommend :D x