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Bedtime Problems with 6 and 4 year old

57 replies

Jillxx · 05/07/2001 12:36

My 2 girls who are 6 & 4 both share a room. Every night my husband and I have trouble with the girls. We try to get both into bed by 7pm (but we have also tried later times right up to 9pm!). On average we end up going upstairs to tell them off about 6 - 10 times before they sleep! Usually they fall asleep after about 3 - 4 hours from being put to bed even when put there at 9pm. While they are up there they go into the bathroom and take water into the bedroom to tip over their bedding, jump from bed to bed and generally misbehave. We have tried bedtime stories but find they, alike baths, don't seem to calm them.
My husband has even on occasions tried smacking lightly after several warnings but to no avail.We are now at our wits end and feel they are in command.

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codswallop · 04/07/2003 13:15

Ps I dont want to sound preachy(but fear I am going to ) I wont let my sons say no to me. They say no thankyou or they go to their rooms. I cant stand "No" ..remnant of teaching surly 16 year old boys I fear.

aloha · 04/07/2003 14:19

Won't the 2 year old fit in the cotbed? You presumably have a few months before the baby arrives so why not separate them now if it works and worry about what happens next later. A lot can change in a few months.

kayleigh · 04/07/2003 15:07

Monkey, I have nothing contructive to add apart from that as the mother of two boys age 5 and 2 I do know something of what you are going through. My two angels have all of a sudden turned into the devils spawn. I actually feel like they are ganging up on me ! How ridiculous is that. I was also on the verge of tears/murder yesterday. Thank god for mumsnet. I honestly felt like the worst person in the world for the way I was thinking of my children yesterday. It is so good to know I am not the only screaming banshee. Am off to find a large jar for pasta - although the way they are behaving a teeny tiny one will be perfectly adequate : ) My major problem is that they (in the main) do not behave like this for dh. So it is so difficult to explain how it feels to be out of control over two small children who seem to be laughing at you when you ask them to do something. I think he thinks I am making it up.
A big hug to you.

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monkey · 04/07/2003 20:15

That was the question codswallop. I don't like 'no' either, but you can't say "I won't let them say 'no' to me" If a child says 'no', then he's said 'no' he's hardly going to say 'no thank youy' in response to me or dh asking or telling him to go upstairs/to the bathroom. What happened was that he said 'no' we repeated Yes, convincingly, the ionstruction, then dh ran out of patience and frog-marched him up to his room. But when he's going through a deliberately difficult phase, I haven't got the energy to march him to his room every 2 minutes. In fact, I might as well not let him out at all. How old are your kids, codswallop?

My problem as well is that they have been so good, relatively easy and generally very well behaved kids (of course, they've had thier moments) over the last 2.5 & 4 years that their bad behaviour is even more alarming. I don't think anyone would be in any doubt that I mean what I say. But like I said, every request/ action in our daily life/bed time cannot be so confrontational. It is depressing, a shitty was to end the day every day, and the whole day is so tiring.

For what it's worth, I tried the staggered bedtime tonight, plus it was ds2's 1st day without a nappy - we even went to a friend's house and a cafe all together (after picking dh up from work) and he didn't have a single accident! The bedtime worked fine. I read ds2 his story, and I think he really liked having it all to himself. Then we put him to bed & went to the spare room & read ds1 a big, long, big boy story & that was really good for him. Ds2 was still awake, so he got a 2nd story by which time ds2 was off, so we popped ds1 into bed & not a peep. Fantastic . Not sure what we'll do the nights ds2 doesn't go off quickly.

Thanks kayleigh, that was sweet.
Oh, and I haven't shouted once today. Very tempted to when they dropped my rings down the sink & lost my eternity ring, which was not down the u-bend with my wedding ring.... Miaculously a 3 rings found & my temper remained intact!

The cotbed is a possibility Aloha, of course he's easily fir in it, but we wanted him well and truly removed from it, so no associations with the baby. He's been out of it about 2 months already. Anyway, we'll see if the staggered bedtime & pasta jar works. Oh, and fingers crossed for the toilet training! Thanks again. Dunno what I'd do without you.

They've been really lovely today.

SoupDragon · 04/07/2003 20:20

Do you think there's something in the air that's affecting our 2 & 4 year olds? I don't think I've said much to my 2 today that wasn't said at least 3 times in a row and then followed by "NOW!"

Glad your bedtime went better tonight, Monkey. Fingers crossed for a peaceful night.

codswallop · 05/07/2003 15:30

Mine are 5 2 and ...baby.

I do send them to their rooms.

codswallop · 05/07/2003 16:06

(well.. not he baby although I feel like it sometimes )

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