"I'm a rubbish person" says my 4 year old

[clemette]

Evening.
I was wondering if anyone can give me any insight into my DD? She is five in April and started school this January. She has been at nursery full-time since she was a baby and we also have a 2 year old little boy. Until she turned 4 she was a happy little thing (we never had terrible twos), she adores her brother and embraced every new experience etc.
Since the autumn her behaviour has deteriorated dramatically. She generally seems unhappy and dissatisfied with everything. She is rude, argumentative, whinges almost all of the time and refuses to do anything she is asked. We are trying hard to embrace positive parenting and reward good behaviour but sometimes she is so foul we are driven to telling her off and shouting at her. It makes no difference to her behaviour but I am really struggling.
Anyway, this week at bedtime, after she was in trouble over throwing a huge tantrum about getting into her pyjamas she sat in bed sobbing and saying "I am a rubbish person." It was heartbreaking to see. So, my question is, is this ever normal? We have never, ever used that phrase so I am not even sure where it has come from.
I suppose an additional question is what can we do about it? How do I challenge her behaviour without damaging her self-esteem?
Thanks for reading

Poor you - it does sound like it might all be about adapting to the school environment.
DS2 was at nursery too as I worked full-time before he went to school.
I (mistakenly!)thought he would 'transition' just fine into school life, but actually it took him quite a while. School was just bigger/ busier/more formal and he really wasn't emotionally ready for it.

Sorry - no more real advice to give except keep hugging and reassuring your DD.

Oh - one last suggestion - we had a little bit of this sort of thing with DS1 when DS2 was still at nursery, and he had gone to school, and we used to use the school holidays to create some 'special days' when we'd take DS2 to nursery but have a special day out with DS1. Some of my friends thought I was very mean, but it was a way of making DS1 feel special on his own (and actually DS2 was too young/ none the wiser!)

HTH
x

wellI came on here to post a thread and there is one!
I am soo glad I am not alone-my ds is four and like everyone else did'nt have the terrible two's but my-4- is awful!
I really shouted today that I had had enough of his constant tantrums and being called stupid etc.[like I was proving a good role model] but i honestly feel rubbish about it.
He says the same stuff you are stupid,we are mean , we are not nice and the worst -screaming at the top of his lungs don't hurt me -when you try bath him,do his teeth ,get him dressed!!
I just have a burning pain in my stomach all the time-I wanted my ds for many many years and sonmetimes I feel like the worst mother-but am glad you are all saying 4 can be a nightmare!