Dealing with feelings......

[anooga]

Hi, I'm new to Mumsnet.

My daughters are 3 years old and 21 months old.
I've been reading a few things here and there about helping children deal with 'bad' feelings such as anger/sadness. I am in total agreement that it is best not to ignore or punish 'bad' feelings. I don't agree with telling my children to smile or 'be happy' when they are not feeling that way.

All the things I've been reading outline the idea of helping kids deal with their feelings but I'm struggling putting this into practice!! I need useful advice on what to say/how to react when my children get frustrated or upset in a way that acknowledges their feelings but doesn't overindulge them!!!

Any advice welcome!
Thanks

I read a really good book on this subject - called Superpowers for Parents by Stephen Briers www.amazon.co.uk/Superpowers-Parents-Psychology-Parenting-Children/dp/027371435X

It talks about how it's good to give them the language to be able to express how they're feeling as that's one of the reasons they get frustrated and have tantrums/lash out. DD is only 22 months, so I haven't really put any of the ideas into practice yet, apart from trying to point out when characters look happy/sad/angry etc in books and cartoons.

It has lots of good ideas for older kids, like how to talk to them about things that happened in school, or when reading a book say things like..'how do you think it made so-and-so feel when that happened?' - teaching them to have empathy and recognise how other people might be feeling. It's worth a read!

That's brilliant - thanks a lot!