Please help! 9 weeks old - what happened to my routines?!

[Emalina]

I have followed routines since birth for feeding and sleeping - following Baby Whisperer and feeding 2 1/2 - 3 hourly, trying the EASY routine, and cluster feeding in the afternoon and doing a dream feed. In spite of this DS never would still need feeding twice in the night, so Dream feed around 10pm, then he'd wake between 12:30 - 01:00 and again around 03:30 and 4:00, and wake in the morning at around 6:00, sometimes earlier, around 05:30, sometimes later around 06:30.

He's never been a good napper at home, sleeping much better when we're out, but since the 2nd week bedtime routine has gone smoothly, and usually he goes down with minimum fuss.

Last week he started going from 10:00 - 02:00, but then waking a around 05:00 and deciding it's morning. I was getting more sleep when he was waking twice in the night, because he has also started waking up to fart, and can take an hour to resettle.

Also feeding in the day today was all over the place - HV says this is ok, but today he hasn't taken as much as normal at his feeds, and then screamed for 1/2 hour at bedtime. (I found this very distressing, even though DH was with him, and I was in another room)

Did I completely waste my time with routines over the last 2 months? HV told us that baby's don't have routine's till they are about 3 months old, but for 2 months DS has pretty much eaten at the same times, within 1/2 hour, and gone to bed fine.

Sorry, this is long and a bit rambling. Why would Tracy Hogg, Gina Ford etc, who have worked with hundreds of babies, advocate routines from day 1 if babies don't have routines??!! (personally I feel that they can learn a routine from the early days) BUT what has happened to DS routine? Will he get back on track?

Could he still be feeling the effects of his injections on Monday morning? He didn't seem under the weather today though, apart from crying more than usual he has been very smiley throughout the day.

Remember he's 9 weeks old. He's brand new! The only routine I found possible to impose at this age was a) bath time and b) time babe was put in their night time bed (mine tended to sleep in different places during the day and night).

Some babies are nappers- ds2 did 20 minute naps, and ds3 was similar, the only one who did longer sleeps during the day was ds1. I sympathise- babies who don't do long sleeps during the day are pains! But there isn't a lot you can do tbh (except a sling maybe- that worked really well with ds3 for me).

All mine slept better in noisy places, are you getting out and about with friends?

ha ha, this is quite amusing really. i reply to a post from a person who says she has been putting her kid in a routine from birth. i state how my routine has worked for me and my children then i get a number of posts suggesting i'm gina ford (laughable) and that we should all chuck baby books out. also, i have not implied that 'all babies are going to react like mine', nor i have i said i read any bleedin' books. you do what is right for you and your baby but for me, i have not had a broken night sleep (bar sickness) since my kids were 8 weeks old. go figure...

nw3mumof3 - erm, "All 3 of my kids have slept through the night from 8 weeks. The trick is quite simple..." is implying rather a lot imho.

I figure you were lucky and had good sleepers. And that you come across as thinking that any of us who haven't got our babies sleeping through from 8 weeks old are doing something wrong.

I'm not sure anybody other than me was directly responding to you, by the way (that's why I specifically mentioned your posting name). I think they were talking to the OP...

nw3mumof3 - the 'Gina? Is that you?!' comment was very much meant as a joke. Maybe those of us without a routine have more time for humour...

Anyway, use a routine, don't use a routine, whatever - that's not really the point, is it? The point is that every mum should do what makes her happy & what works best for HER baby. Some babies are textbook in terms of napping & feeding, some aren't. Fact.

For example, this morning, DD decided she didn't want a morning nap. Not upset or cross, just not tired. So, instead of stressing about it and shushing & patting her for half an hour, or perhaps letting her cry, I played peekaboo with her instead. Later, when she actually was tired, I put her down with no problem at all.

When I finish my maternity leave in a month's time, I won't remember her naps. I will, however, remember teaching her the intricacies & hilarities of a good game of peekaboo.

Emalina - hope you're doing OK today

nwmumof3 - the implications of your post were obv. You've been very lucky. With ds1 I believed the same as you & then ds2 arrived & proved some babies will not be put into a routine. I won't go into all the reasons as I'm sure noones interested but trust me on this one.

I've found ds2 to be a much more contented baby since I started following his routine. He still doesn't go to bed until midnight but he sleeps for 8 hours & while he's still awake from 1630 until then he no longer screams for hours (literally) while I try & force him to go to sleep because it suits me. It's hard as I do love a routine & would love some time with dh of an evenong but we're both adapting & on the plus side mummy is his favourite person & we have an amazing bond from the hours spent together which I didn't have in the same way with my easy, contented ds1.

Pogger sense of humour was an early victim of extreme sleep deprivation in our house, so not sure your hypothesis is quite right yet.

You are definitely right about the need to chill and just enjoy your baby though!

Hi all - thanks for your replies - some of the messages are very entertaining (I think you know the ones I mean!)

I looked back at my diary from the early days, and I don't think I did start with routine for a few days, other than wake to feed every 3 hours on midwife's advice.

I am back on track now with a 3 hour routine - I tried feed on demand for a bit (maybe not even 24 hours) but didn't know if I was coming or going, and that was the night DS screamed for 1/2 hour at bedtime.

He has been more vocal since his jabs - much more screaming in general, but still only about 30 - 45 mins a day max, so I am still a lucky Mummy. I think the jabs did throw him off kilter, and also the transition from going twice and night to once.

I have put in place 3 hour routine, again watching for his signals, and he is now crying for food pretty much 3 hourly on the dot, but if he is asleep I am waking to feed.

I am in charge again and am a happy Mummy! HV said I should let DS be in charge - I say NO CHANCE! I am the grown up, therefore I am in charge!! (as much as I can be)

I do enjoy my son, very much, but I too am a control freak and happy Mummy makes happy baby...

I don't mind that he doesn't nap, except when he is clearly overtired and turning into a grizzly grouch!

Many things to celebrate too over the last week - he is making more sounds - gurgling and shrieking with delight! Also more control over his hands and able to deliberately touch his toys. He is getting more demanding of Mummy and Daddy's attention though and wants us to 'play' with him!

Glad to hear you've got your groove back Emalina - my experience is to enjoy it while it lasts and to be gentle on yourself when you next find it wobbles a bit - this happened quite a lot for me over the past year!