HELLLPPPP!!! 1st time playdate - argueing, tell-tales, and fighting - WHAT SHOULD I DO???

[RedOnHerHead]

Just that really - 1st time having a friend over after school - DS1 is 5 and so is his friend - it was all fun and laughter and now it's turned sour! What should I do - DS1 is having a time out now for too much rough play and playmate is happily playing with DS2 age 22mths!!!
Sould I have planned something for them to do???
Where did I go wrong????

HELP!

Oh.... sorry, it's been a while since I've been on, but I just knew you were the people to ask!

Feed them quick. Then give them some colouring to do.

You havent gone wrong. It is pretty normal. Just leave them to it.

Have they eaten? Bloodsugar dip will cause mayhem.

Or lego, or whatever it is boys do next to each other but not together iyswim.

Kill them. Now

And, yes, completely normal - not your fault.

Dont listen to Poledra.

She is serious.

Am just about to serve up dinner....
Wish me luck!
Glad it's pretty normal!
Thankyou so much!

Poledra, ummm

this is hard work!
and WHY do people do this!!!???

They do it so that other parents reciprocate and take YOUR child off your hands for few hours after school...

Forgot to mention....
bedroom is now a bombsite!!!!

Do you get the little darlings to tidy up before the playmate goes home??? Or do you give in and do it for them afterwards?

OMG this is nervewracking!
Need a permanent bed in the local mental health hospital at this rate!!!!

I'm normally quite looking....

But now I really do look like

Feed them. Probably don't bother trying to get them to tidy, but read DS riot act later about how he will never have another playdate again if that happens to his room next time.

...and next time lay down rule first (although they are possibly a bit young) - my personal ground rules are if that they can't both agree to do something, they do nothing (sit at table where I can see them) - it's surprising how quickly peace can be negotiated.

I am viewed by all DS's friends as a nasty fierce Mummy, I am sure, but they seem to want to come back anyway

Feed them early - even if it feels weirdly early - is the best thing I find.

I do home play for half an hour tv

If you're sure its not just due to hunger, then it might be worth just leaving them to work it out (as long as there's no fisticuffs!). I went into DDs nursery/reception class to observe recently, and was shocked (and a little bit ) to find that the reason the teachers and TAs survive and don't go insane is by just leaving the kids to it - turning a blind eye to all their little squabbles and strops - and leaving them to sort it out themselves (as long as there was no major fighting or bullying). I think its the way to go.....

Become negligent like me. I ignore minor bickering/rowing. Only when it becomes more serious do I get involved.

I'm having a playdate from hell (little boy is lovely, my DT's are being hell) so I've put a DVD on. Peace and quiet so I can browse internet tidy up.

All are eating - what a transformation - they are "best buddies" again! am slowly going from to and hopefully a little more later......

Good thinking about the laying the law down about the room!

I will ask them to tidy up - a little bribery wouldn't be wrong.......
would it????
say for instance..... a bit of chocolate???

Competition time - the best tidyer gets a sticker!

Good Luck - when egged on by PITA friends, DS's tidying style reverts to "open cupboard, shovel in toys, slam door, hope Mummy won't notice" - it's easier to make DS do it later, TBH.

They've actually done really well - everything put back in boxes too - am uber-impressed - not so anymore - playmate gone home - returning more by the minute!

Thanks for keeping me sane!

A visitor who co-operates with tidying? They can come again, then!