I am sitting here with a headache now thanks to DS2, this might be long so sorry in advance

[Saltire]

I need help sorting both DSes out, but feel if I could sort one out then the other will be easier to manange. And DS2 is the more stress inducign and demanding of the 2.

Today, as soon as he got his school clothes on he started "my tummy hurts". I got out the door with him, and by the time we ahd got to the main gates he was crying and wailing and lying on teh pavement saying his tummy was sore.
Now, yesterday his headmistress rang me and said that he was complaining of a "bubbly" tummy. I told her to give him a drink of water and go and sit down for 15 mintues. He was fine alst night, ate all his dinner, ran around like an idiot, same this morning ate all his breakfast etc . until he got dressed.

I have lost count of the number of times I had to go home early from work to pick him up at the old school - not genuine being sick, just "sore tummys" which made a miraculous recovery when he got home. He is also, for want of a better word, jealous of his older brother.
and seems to feel the need to try and better him. Examples,DS1 is talking at the dinner table, Ds2 interupts Every single time and we have to tell him to wait. DS1 has been getting a few headaches recently, and not sleeping well, waking a lot through the night. So of course now DS2 is getting up saying "OH I have been awake all night, I have a headache" etc. He is also a real dramatist. A simple trip turns into "owowow I ahve broken my leg I can't walk " followed by lots of wailing and wanting to sit with an ice pack. Sometimes I admit I ahve pandered to him but now it's getting downright annoying

A few weeks ago DS2 did waken through the night scremaing with tummy pain, we thought at one point he might end up in A&E. We gace him some milk of magnesia and calpol and the next dya he did a huge poo - so was obviouslt constipated. But, we treid to get through to him that he was genuinely in a lot fo apin that night but if he kept on saying he ahd sore tummys all the time then there would come a time when we wouldn't believe him and he would be really ill

He's 10 BTW.

I brought him home because he was making such a fuss and carry on. He stoppe crying needless to say as soon as we turned round. he is in bed, in the spare room hich has piles of ironing, no tv/dvd/ps2 etc. ne radio books or coulring pencils. he is crying wanting to "come downstairs and lie on the sofa"

Is taking him back to school now an option?

I got so angry taht as soonas I got in I said "that's it, I've had enough of these tummy aches and ehadaches and earaches and leg aches, I am ringing the doctor"> And I did. I am going to tell him that DS2 was crying and lying aorund on the pavement and see what she says.

Hmmm... maybe a long shot but could the lack of sympathy be backfiring. My mum was a real 'oh, you're fine!' sort and I was a total attention-seeker with pain and injury (and always felt like a hypochondriac). Lots of medical room at school like your boy.

Could you try a (seemingly counter-productive I know) sympathetic approach? Sort of 'oh dear, poor you' a bit of a cuddle and mini-indulgent and then 'right, what shall we do now to make you better'. This is what I do with mine (much younger I know) and it seems to work - the acknowledgement iykwim then 'right, moving on!'. Think about if you had a headache/stubbed your toe - you;d want someone to sympathise a bit, wouldn't you?

Adair - we do that anyway with him, he is a very cuddly child and always wanting them - especially if we are doing something with DS1 - such as him and DH watching footie together on TV, DS2 shoves himself in teh middle. I do give him a lot of sympathy as a rule but today, after no sleep due to my own pains, and now a headache, i just got angry with him.

Fair enough, it was just what struck me from the postings. Sympathy for you though for the no sleep and headache- always makes me really irritable. Dd told me the other day 'when mummy is ill, she gets cross. When daddy gets ill, he goes to bed.' - ain't that the truth

A thought - is this his way of expressing his emotions? Could you try talking to him about what it actually means when he has a 'bubbly tummy' ie he feels jealous/sad/nervous/guilty whatever. Maybe he doesn't quite know that things are going on in his head and it's coming out as a physical pain iykwim.

Maybe he needs to be made to feel more secure and loved. He seems to be doing anything he can to get you to act caring towards him?

Adair - your DD has life sussed, doesn't she?

Saltire - I think the doctors is a good move. One way or the other - either he will admit under questioning from the doctor that he is making it up, or he holds his ground in which case I would be more inclined to believe that there is something behind it - whether physical or psychological.

FWIW my DS has what appear to be stomach migraines which cause agonising stomach pains which generally pass quite quickly - school rang me the other day to say he had nearly passed out whilst reading to a teacher . Fortunately his school are even more inclined to 'there there never mind now carry on' than I am - so whilst his teacher did ring me, she sat him down and gave him a drink of water and then decided he was OK to go back to work

Also can you try designated one of one time for each son to make it seem more fair?

And I would, when he's 'ill' try being really over dramatically concerned and make him stay in bed allll day not moving and not getting out, cause he's 'so ill' :-p
Maybe some disgusting medicines too and say ill people can only eat lentil soup, so sweets to upset your stomach, etc..

:-)

I have a 10 year old sister and I can't cope with her to be honest, sooo challenging, probably worse than my 3 yr old.

sorry if this sounds abrupt, but I am at work.
It sounds to me that he is unhappy in some way - is he unhappy at school.
Also he could be attention seeking so
could you try and arrange some one on one time with both boys seperatly

Also meant to say to me it sounds like the tummy aches , pushingoff the settee, jelously of DS1 are the symtons and you need to try and find out what the problem is.

no advice, but lots of sympathy.....for the DS2 issue and your pains and headaches etc.

kids eh, dirve us nuts as much as we love them!!

I think there is defiante jealousy there, but not sure how to deal with it. DS1 is a whinger and is always whinging,a nd DS2 always joins in - like I said , I feel it's to get attention. Add my own health problems into teh mix and you can imagine what it's like in our house. Also DS2 has to be told over and over agian. he wastes a lot of time "pissin about". It can take him up to an hour to get dressed, even if he's upstairs and tv off, he starts drawing or playingwith lego. I say "you can build with lego when you are dressed" but it still takes ages.